Are We Done Having Children? How to Decide?

I will be 38 in a few months. I have two boys. After my second son was born, I thought I was done. Now that he is two, I keep thinking that I want another child. I have the same concerns about my age so it is nice to see the other posts where moms had babies when they were older and didn't have problems. My biggest problem. . . my husband does not want to have another one. I think you will know if you are done. If you are asking this question, it probably means you want another. I grew up with 5 kids in my family. It was generally hectic but I liked having a big family.

I think if you are saying "if" we have another then at the moment you are not sure and I would hold off on any decisions to get a vasectomy , wait until the baby is a year old and then see how you feel , if you are still at the "if" stage then it is quite likely that yes you want another. When I had 2 kids I was at the "if" stage , we now have 3 (she is 26 months old) and I no longer use the "if" word , if people ask if I am having anymore I say no , and in my head and heart I know that I am done and we don't want another child. It's one of those annoying things in life when people say "you just know when you are done" , the same way they say "you will know when you are in labor" , annoying but true , you do just know.

Hope this helps

If your finances are good, you can afford collage for your kids, and you want one more, then why not? But if you are looking forward to no more diapers, being able to travel a little bit more, getting involved in older kid activities and school, then be happy looking forward to the changes that are coming. Your Mom's situation with raising her family was different than yours, so it's ok to do what ever feels right for your family, whether you stay home and have another baby or decide you want a few hours doing something else for awhile like being a lunch room monitor at school or what ever.

I stopped at 2....2 boys which my oldest just turned 11 yesterday and my youngest is 8! And really I am glad I stopped at 2 really. My husband had a older son at the time so we decided on 2 only cause it would make at total of 3 children. Now that my oldest is entering Jr High the cost of school is outrageous, and they both boys have done football for 3 years and baseball and now they are doing bowling! All of it is just so expensive which I never thought about when I wanted children.As well as what sport and such my step son wanted to do! But it is up to you and what you can afford to have! Everyone is different on what finances you have. I am thanking God we are able to give our boys what they wanted in life and they could play sports....Good Luck on your decision!

A.,
I have four healthy children, two of which were born when I was almost 42 and age 44. If you are already overwhelmed(which considering how much you have on your plate I'm not surprised :)!! then I would wait a few years before deciding to have another. It's not fair to you or to the family you have (in my opinion) to add another baby right now.

I think society has taught us that a bell goes off when we hit 40 regarding pregnancy. Talk to your OB/GYN...there are plenty of healthy pregnancies and babies to women in their 40s(and the risks are probably ALOT less than you think).

Just my experience-good luck!!

N.

I agree with Melissa J. I think you will know when you are truly satisfied and done having more kids. My 3rd will be 1 next weekend and I know she will be our last. I was pretty sure when we found out she was a girl (after having 2 boys) that we were done, but one night when she was about 4 months old I knew for sure. She had a couple of rough nights and the last night of it, I thought to myself, this is it, I don't want to have to go through this again. From the time she was born, I thought maybe she needs a sister and we should try for another girl later, but after it hitting me that night that I didn't want another child, my mind has not wavered at all. My husband was so glad to hear it! He didn't really want anymore, but would have considered it if I did. I love my kids and could not imagine my life without them, but I do not want anymore! :o)

i may be the wrong person to say this but i would say go for it. one more won't make a differance at this point. good luck. mom of 7, R.

Hmmmm....I guess I always knew that "O." was my magic number and hubby agrees!
I had my only son at 39 and my pregnancy was a breeze, so don't let that stop you.
Your youngest is pretty new right now. I would be overwhelmed and stressed with three, but I know moms with 4-6 kids who manage very nicely.
Try (I'll bet it's tough) to find some peaceful moments to really sit with the idea of another...your answer is in there somewhere--just listen! God bless!

If you are longing for another maybe you should. I once read that you will never regret having another child buy you may regret not. My 3rd child just turned 1 and I for sure, absolutely, know that I am done. When I see preg. women I cringe, babies are cute but I have no desire to have another. I also read somewhere when you are done, you will know it. I am also older - I had my 3rd at 38 years old.