Anyone Else Having Intamacy Problems with Their Spouse?

Dear T.,
maybe the person you should be talking to is your husband. When I was pregnant with my second child. I was having the same problem. Finally one day after a fit of tears, probably just a mood swing, I came bawling to my husband aking him if he still loved me and why he didn't want to touch me anymore. He admitted that he still wanted to very badly but he was just afraid he might hurt the baby. Put youself in his shoes, he doesn't have a life growing inside of him, and he can't feel what you are feeling. It's kind of like when your child is hurt and you can't feel how bad the pain is to know if he needs tylenol or just a kiss and a snuggle. I guess you could just say some times it's easier for a man to avoid the urge by just avoiding the chocolate cake.

Hi T.,

I too have a 16 month old son, and have another one on the way. She is due March 27th. My husband and I had no probs throughout my first pregnancy, until I got so big (and I got HUGE) that it really wasn't something that either one of us was interested in. However, this time is different. We are very open in our marriage, and really can communicate well (about things like this anyway, cleaning the house is another story!). He told me that he feels "weird" having sex this time, and that he is terrified of seeing another another birth (we had a real bad one the first time). He still rubs my belly and my feet, is very loving, and was able to feel the baby kick last weekend. He was over joyed.

Mommy's might forget about the whole birthing experience, but daddy's don't. They are the ones that end up traumatized. They see our pain, the "whoha" getting stretched beyond belief, the poop on the table, and the screaming, gooey, wrinkled kid sliding out. This could be happening to your husband. Try to get him to talk about it, and be patient. As long as he is till showing you love in other ways, of course.

Hope this helps!!!
J.

Hi T.!
I didn't have this problems, my hubby wanted to do it thousand times a day, I was the one who didn't...
but when I just got pregnant, my doctor had a talk with me about this kind of stuff
one of the main reasons can be that he feels scared to hurt you or the baby.
I suggest you talk to him and try to figure out what is bothering him

Hey T., I'm a 26 yr. old mom with a son who will be 16 mos here soon. I am sorry to hear about the physical emptiness you are feeling at this time in your pregnancy. My husband moved me all the way from TX to Sandy, OR and was the same exact way your husband seems to be. It became so hard for me to deal with it because I didn't have the attention from my immediate family, the belly rubbing and talking to the belly, or physical connection, and more so didn't even get that from my own husband. I know exactly where you are coming from, so sad
:(

The only thing i can suggest, as it seems our husbands were not attracted by us,...........try more seduction towards him, touch him where he likes to be touched, if he says stop just keep at it, trust me he'll get in the mood. I don't know how blunt this is, but some other oral forms of stimulation worked wonders for me being able to turn my hubby on considering he thought that me being prego just made it seem like we couldn't or shouldn't be having sex. Try just talking to him about it also. I never expressed to my husband how i felt then and there, and now when we watch a tv show or movie together and they show dads to be rubbing the belly, kissing it, talking to it, and him rubbing his "TV" wife's feet i still get choked up. I finally broke down and said, you know you could have been a little more loving towards me considering you took me away from all my friends and family, and every time i get a chance i remind him that carrying his child was not easy and that i expect more from him next time around. Talking really works for us, I highly suggest you open up the conversation with him, sometimes, these men need some help! :) Have a great day!

My sons father (we are no longer together) was exactly the same way. Once I was about 4 months pregnant (basically when I started showing) he would not touch me. He would not even rub my feet or back. So, you are not alone. It caused a lot of strain on our relationship, especially since I am a very physical person. I cried myself to sleep many nights. His only reasoning was "it's just your pregnant....and it doesnt feel right". But I have heard of others with the same issue. Everyone reacts differently. They don't understand that it is not just sex, but it is the passion that we miss. Hopefully things work out for you. Feel free to message me anytime.

C.