Any Idea How I Should Handle This???

For better or worse, this is your neice/nephew's FATHER. Whaterver else he may or may not be, this man will be important to this baby, either because he is there or he ISN'T there. Are you actually saying you don't want the father of the baby to be at its birth??

Its time for him to step up, big time. As the Aunt, I wouldn't want to stand in the way of this man stepping up to be the father the baby AND your sister needs. Unless he has physically hurt her in the past, you need to give him the room to either assume his responsibility or fail.

You are a grown woman, who I'm sure can handle the situation. Be the bigger person, and pray that the birth of his child helps him grow up and take responsibility. (When he fails, you can kick his keester then)

Whether you like it or not, this man is part of your life now via the baby. Don't create a wedge between him and your sister/the baby. Its not right.

You cannot keep your sister from taking him back, no matter how much it hurts.

What you can do is tell this guy off, as much as you'd like, over and over. Demand he pay you back if you wish. Tell him exactly how you feel. Make him realize all he has done, and don't hold back. DO NOT do it in front of her on the day of the birth - you obviously do not want to stress her out any more than she already is. But, I am sure you will have a prime opportunity or two to be alone with this guy some other time. You have held your tongue for too long. Someone needs to be an advocate for your sister - she obviously isn't doing it herself.

Women like your sister have low self esteem. Work on "fixing" her and hopefully that will lead to him being told to take a hike.

Well if he shows up and pulls the "It's my baby" card. You pull the It is YOUR sister. You have more of a right to be there than that A-hole does.
You could try talking to the hospital or her doctors and see if there is a way you can "ban" him from the hospital because he is bad for her health.
Tell them you are worried about the health of y our sister and the stress he will put on her.
It is never a good situation to be in the middle of.
If anything, Focus on your sister. Try as hard as you can to Shut it ;) I know that is hard TRUST ME. I usually can not do that when it comes to my family and someone messing with them.
Your sister needs you, ignore the prick and get your sister and that baby through this.

My advice is this - if you feel you cannot contain yourself if he shows up, you need to leave. Don't let this innocent baby come into the world in a stress filled environment. Take the high road. Be the better person. Be the person your sister will turn to again when he fails her. Good luck.

Be there for your sister. Bite your lip and try to make the best of it. If he is there you do just need to remember that this baby is half of him. Whether or not your sister goes back to him, is kinda irrelevant now since she is having his baby. She does need to work with him at least to some degree. Just try your best to sit on the sidelines for your sister.

I know that Birth Plans tend to get thrown out for emergent reasons but if she has in any way been encouraged to come up with a birth plan who is there should be a big part of it. Beyond the birth in the one to several days that follow the birth she could also come up with a plan there. Some people know themselves well and outside of very close familiy visiting the day of the birth they make it clear that visitors will be welcome at home when mom and baby are up to it. Get her to write down her birth plan and to really think it through. It also may be that the dad of the baby does not relate to the importance of seeing the baby so is she mentally prepped for him to decline the invite to come visit after the birth. He may also be furious if he is not invited to the birth but is allowed to see the baby afterwards so I would think she really needs to give thought to the right approach for all parties. I know that part of the reason birth plans get thrown out is emotions are running high but maybe by giving it some thought in advance she is more likely to stick to the plan and make herself the happiest she can be with him somewhere in the picture even if not in the hospital picture

My money is on him not coming to the hospital quite frankly, especially if she goes into labor over a weekend.

IF he has the balls to show up, be cordial and feel free to leave for a bit. I would openly say, "How long are you planning to stay b/c I'm going to run a few errands and don't want her to be left alone?" Then leave and come back at least 15-20 minutes early b/c he'll bail-out when he realizes how intense labor and delivery can become.

Unfortunately, they are both adults and this is their child (not yours) so there isn't much else you can do. Remember to focus on the baby and your sister, not the a-hole that's now permanently attached to them. Whatever you do, don't pick a fight with him in the hospital- it will get you both tossed out!

You must get control of your emotions. He is who he is. He won't change unless he truly wants to. Since you deem him an whole @ss, why are you coming out of character when he is staying in character. Your sister needs you and this baby needs you too.

Unfortunately this baby's father is who he is but he still has a right to spend time with his child. The baby has a right to know where he comes from and who he or she belongs to. This is how we get our security and identity. It will take much love on the part of your entire family to create a stable environment and safe haven for this baby.

The real question I have would be something your sister will need to explore and that question is, "Why does she think so little of herself that she would accept anything less than the best for herself and her child?"

As the woman she gets to choose what she will or will not tolerate in her life. She gets the final say. If she thought more of herself, she would kick this guy to the curb, do the best she can at coparenting if possible, and raise the baby with grace, dignity and respect.

For you keep the main things the main things and that would be how much this baby and your sister need you to be calm and purposeful during this time. I've been where you are and it does get better but it will take time, a whole lot of time.

This is a tough one. As far as you helping her keep him out of her life once the baby comes, I'm thinking you don't have a lot of options, she's going to do what she's going to do whether you or anyone else in your family likes it or not. As far as you being there in the hospital with her during the delivery, that's a whole other thing. I'm like you in that I'm wildly protective of my family, especially my sister so I think I could overcome my big mouth & swallow my pride for the day I would be forced to spend with the loser in the delivery room specifically so that I could be there for my sister when she really, really needed me.

You should be there for your sister. If she doesn't want him there she can give instructions to the hospital now while her mind is clear and they will note it in her chart. Keep in mind, while she has the right not to allow him in the delivery room it is his baby too and she shouldn't keep him from seeing the baby soon after delivery.

Talk to the nursing staff before hand. Tell them that this man is not wanted. Explain the situation. I'm sure they can help you.
LBC

Be all about your sister. She needs your help. I totally understand your feelings for this guy. I would feel the same way. But, don't leave her while she's in labor. Ignore the guy. Concentrate on your sister. I am sure her stress level will be elevated enough if he shows up. Be the calming force she will need. Perhaps you can discuss this calmly with your sister now: What does she want if he shows up? Does she want him to have any weight to pull while she is delivering her baby? Does she want the hospital staff to know her wishes? She can make her wishes known now, and perhaps if you put it all in writing, she can give it to the staff when you get to the hospital. Let them know that these are her wishes. In the heat of the moment, emotions tend to rule the day. But, if she has thought this all through now, it will be easier to have clarity. But, it is her battle, not yours. Your job is to support her. I hope it goes well for all of you!

I think it depends on your relationship with your sister and what you want it to be. If she wants him to come and you make a scene, then that would jeapordize your relationship with sister and niece. And she could very well pick him. You could talk with her beforehand. And clearly say how you feel about him and that you've supported her but if she chooses to have him there you will not be there.

I have been through something similar. I know it is tough. I almost lost my sister when she gave birth to her baby and her spouse really gets on my nerve sometimes. I focused on my sister and helping her out. When he was getting on my nerves I took breathers from the situation so I would not hurt anyone .I also prayed a lot. I try to remember to focus on her and what her needs are. Whoever gives her the most stress is the one she will not want to be around. My sister is not in a good financial state either and she has really needed a lot of help. I was able to open my home and let her stay with me for a few days without her spouse around too. SO I have been able to talk to her and see how she is doing. My sister had to have 3 surgeries to deliver her baby and also save her life. I am hoping being around her and being supportive and patient that if something were to fall apart with her marriage she would feel comfortable to seek my help. (just like I would hope someone would so for me if the situations was reversed! Good luck to you! I know it will be tough but you can do it.