Another Sleep Question - Portland, OR

Some kids sleep through the night at 6 months, and others don't do it until 3 years. Every child is different. Don't worry about it too much. Do what feels right to the two of you. I know feeding at night can be exhausting. 1 time at night at 9 months I think is GREAT!

You have to do what's best for you guys. And only you know what that is!! If you are fine with it...then I don't see a problem.

I was sick of not sleeping...so we did the whole "cry it out" and life has been amazing ever since. But my kid was getting up more then once!!

Good luck!

don't listen to those people! all babies are different, and as long as you don't mind nursing him - (by the way, only once! wow you're lucky! ) then i think you should go ahead and continue doing it. sounds like you have a lucky baby who wants to be near you. good luck!

K.-

If your baby is healthy and happy and you don't feel upset by him waking to feed in the middle of the night, don't fret! My baby girl has been (mostly) sleeping through the night since she was 7 weeks old, but recently began waking around 4 am to feed. Try not to mind the offhand comments from "well-meaning" folks... Just do what seems right for your son. He'll start sleeping through the night eventually.

But if you're truly concerned and feel that he needs to skip the night-feeding, try waiting 5 minutes from the time you hear him crying. He may just settle down and go back to sleep. But if he can't - don't sweat it! My oldest (now 4) didn't sleep through the night without a feeding until he was nearly a year old!

Seriously, though, do what you feel is best. In all truth, you can't spoil a child under the age of one. All they know is what they need. He's your son and you know him best. As long as the doc says your boy is healthy, don't worry! Motherhood will always have critics.

You're doing just fine. Keep up the good work! Best of luck to you!
-B.-

Hi K.

Both of my sons woke in the middle of the night until well after 1 yr.

mothers who let their babies "cry it out" do end up with babies who get the hint and sleep through the night.

I opted to feed and comfort my hungry precious one, i don't think caring for your child is spoiling.

I also nursed my youngest till 2yrs, Please don't let other people's comments keep you from doing what you feel is right.

All my best wishes
J.

Congratulations on still nursing at nine months! That is quite an accomplishment. My son will be two on the 27th and still comes to bed at around 3 or 4 a.m. to have a cuddle and nurse. As long as you are still comfortable with him nursing there really is nothing amiss. If you feel you are having to defend your nursing relationship with your son you can always say, "Thanks so much for your comments/concern. This is what's working for us right now, though." Remember, you are the mom. This is your son. Trust your instincts. Your son is nine months old, nursing like a champ, and sounds like a healthy happy little boy! These are all wonderful things you should be proud of.
This may seem kind of silly, but I've always found the phrase "water off a duck's back" to be really useful when confronted with someone's well-meaning advice that doesn't work for my family. This is your family. You are doing what is best for your son and yourself. You are not spoiling him, you are nurturing him and meeting his needs.
Do what is best for your family. That's the most important thing.

Hi K.. I say just continue to do what you're doing. My son is almost 10 months and he still wakes up at least once a night too. The longest stretch he's ever slept was 9 hours. The usual stretch he sleeps is about 6-7 hours. I breastfeed my son and I get those comments too. It's irritating. I say that as long as it doesn't bother you...continue to NURTURE him. You are not spoiling him! Breastfeeding is such a wonderful bonding time. He'll probably start sleeping through the night..every night...when you're done breastfeeding. Good luck!

I know many mothers that breastfeed till 1 years old and their children still do not sleep through the night. I was lucky that my son slept through the night at 3 months. Unfortunately my cousin who is now almost 10 still does not sleep through the night! He wakes up many times. He is allergic to everything under the sun, including the sun. Be very happy and feel blessed that your son is healthy and eating well!

In all of the sleep books I have read, a 6 hour stretch for babies under 1 year of age is considered an "all nighter". Visit www.askdrsears.com You'll see you are doing everything just fine. Once your baby starts eating more solid food, he won't need the night time feeding. I say keep nursing him if you don't mind it. He's only this little once :)

Ha ha ha.. People who don't breastfeed don't know. I think breastfed babies probably need to be fed in the middle of the night for a while. Breastmilk just doesn't stick with you the same was formula does. My son woke up to nurse until he was 3. I'm sure we could have stopped before that, but it was ok for both of us so we did it. Don't worry about it, just nurse him when he needs it.

Oh, and along with some of the other people's comments.. Only once per night, you're lucky! My son woke up 3 times per night to nurse as this age.

People (mostly those that bottle-fed or don't have kids) will make comments, who cares. :)

Oh the things books and people don't tell you about motherhood. My kids are 2.5 and 3.5 and my 3 year old still does NOT sleep through the night. My 2 year old does, but my three year old simply won't have anything to do with it. I didn't "spoil" him, and we are honestly so worn that we're taking him to a sleep study. However, my daughter who does sleep through the night, didn't do so until she had just turned 2. She wanted a bottle of water. We finally nixed that on her 2nd birthday. Getting up with your 9 month old and thinking that it's abnormal.... well, it's not abnormal at all. Most kids don't really sleep through the night until they are 1-2 years old.

Don't let anyone tell you what you are doing is wrong and just find a quip to combat those comments.

"Oh, he isn't sleeping through the night?" "No, he's not. But I never sleep, so it isn't a problem!"

Hi K.,

It is totally normal for babies this age to still be waking up at night!! Our society has these crazy ideas that babies should be sleeping for hours on end without waking up, but given babies physiological nature, this is absurd. You should feel lucky that he's only waking up once, not two, three, or more times a night. I would recommend just keep going in to nurse him at night for as long as he wants and you're still okay with it. If you're really ready to have him sleep more, you can try the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It helped my son a lot when he was waking up every hour, and now at 12 months he only wakes once or twice to nurse, which is fine with me :) Remember, you know your son best, and you need to do what feels best for you, not what everyone else tells you to do. We as moms get a lot of pressure from other people to raise our children specific ways, but in the end it is ultimately up to you. If you want to keep nursing him at night when he wakes up, then do it.

Regards,
A.

A word of encouragement, you are always going to get those kinds of comments from people. I think it depends on what time he is waking up. If he is waking up at 3 in the morning or around that time. I say go with it. My daughter did the same thing. It really isn't the end of the world. If you get to the point where you don't want to do that anymore and you want to get a full nights sleep then stop feeding him when he wakes up in the middle of the night. It won't take to long for him to realize he won't get to nurse and he'll stop waking up. If he sleeps that well at other times I don't think you are spoiling him. He sounds content, secure, and happy. What more could you ask for, right. Good luck.
A.

K., please don't listen to other people and go with your gut! If you're not minding waking up and nursing, by all means keep doing so! My son did not sleep through the night until I weaned him from night feedings, probably around 15 months. Like you, once he got to only 1-2 times a night, I wasn't minding so much (well, for awhile...:)). And you won't spoil him by nursing him once a night still--again, do what feels right for you and your son.

Well i think its great your still nursing your son(i didnt go past two months with either of mine) Second some kids just dont sleep through the night that well my oldest(8) still wakes up about 3:00am and would eat if i let her!You could try cutting out one of his naps. Try givin him one nap for longer then he might sleep better at night. GOOD LUCK!

my son didnt sleep through the night until he was 19 months old. His sister was born 2 months later and I had my fingers crossed the whole pregnancy that I wouldnt have to get up for 2 kids every night. I nursed him until 9 months and do believe that nursing babies get hungrier sooner (my daughter is a bottle baby). I sometimes wake up in the night STARVING and force myself to go back to sleep or drink some water but how is a baby supposed to do that? If he is hungry he needs to eat. Good for you for sticking it out. Jen
p.s. Just side note, we did the cry it out (checking and comforting every 5min but not getting them up) for GOING to sleep but not if they woke in the middle of the night hungry (although I did give them a chance to put themselves back to sleep and suprisingly sometimes they did!)

Oh, sweety! My daughter woke up to feed until 18 months old...and my son was about 14 months. Don't worry...soon he will sleep through...I promise! You are wonderful to nurture, and not at all spoiling a child by feeding him. Good luck!

You are nurturing and not spoiling. He's still a baby. I think some mothers, especially those that work want their baby to sleep thru the night. Those who do sleep thru the night at 9 month are the exception and not the norm. Enjoy all the time you have with him. He'll grow up too fast.

Ok I am going to vent for just a minute so bear with me. I have been dealing with the same thing since my son was born. Apperantly once you become a mother everyone feels the need to tell you how to do your job whether you ask for help or not. My son didnt sleep all the way through the night till he was like 2 or there a little after. Everyone kept telling me I was doing something wrong because he was not sleeping through the night, and you know what I talked to his DR. and he said dont listen to them. NOt every child is the same. Some are going to sleep through the night rigth away and some are not. If it doesnt bother you to wake up and feed him then dont listen when people tell you you are spoiling him. He is 9 months old,you cant spoil a baby. He obviously needs this and there is nothing wrong with it, so dont let people tell you there is. You are his mother you do it how you want to.
Sorry if I sound a little irritated, I have just had people come up and tell me because my son is not completly potty trained yet I am doing something wrong and need to do this or that. Well hes only 3 and a half and he knows how to go potty the right way and we are wokring with him on it but if I make such a big deal about it hes not gonna want nothing to do with it at all, so I have started ignoring people completly when they give me advice. I didnt ask for them to tell me what Im doing wrong....
Anyways if he is happy baby do things however you are doing them and dont listen to other people think they know better.

You are doing a wonderful job. Keep up the good work!

I was always told it is best to nurse as long as possible. I wasn't able to do it for very long but I myself would have loved to. If you feel comfortable nursing him then by all means keep going. You are doing whats best for your son not what everybody else thinks should be done. The longer you nurse the more him immune system builds up also the longer you go the more weight you are able to take off.

I'm on child #4 who is 6 & 1/2 months & still gets up 3 to 4 times in the night!!!!

These people making the "he isn't sleeping all night?" remarks, I say they need to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS! If you don't mind getting up with him, then who cares! Remember that this is a special time to bond, a time that you will never get back with your son, so I guess just try to enjoy it!!!!!!

Hi K.,
I don't think there is anything wrong with your 9 month old waking up once a night. I think until their older they still continue to wake up (my 3 year old still occassionally wakes up). But - if you do want him to sleep all night without nursing, crying it out does work. I did it with our second child (learned from my first....) and he is 2 and sleeps great through the night and has since we did the crying it out at 9 months. The first night is very hard. He cried for about 20 minutes. The second night was 5 minutes and after the third night, there was no crying. Good luck.

My son also did not sleep through the night until 9 almost 10 months old. He had to share a room with us (we had no choice) so when he did wake up he would see mom in her bed and continue to cry until I did something about it. We finally were able to make arrangements so that his crib was not right next to our bed and after the second night of having his own room, he slept through the night and after a week he was still sleeping through the night and he has been now for at least 2 months. Even though you are still breast feeding you could try and just give him just one bottle at night before you lay him down. If you put some rice in his bottle it will fill up his tummy and he will probably sleep longer that way too. Breast feeding is very good for your baby but it's not as filling as a rice/formula bottle would be, so naturally he would wake up earlier and be hungry.

I hope that my advice works for you. Good Luck.

K.,

Do'nt let other peoples comments get to you. He's your child and it sounds to me like you are doing everything just fine. I nursed my son for 13 months before he slept through the night. If it does'nt bother you to do it then keep it up. At some point he will stop on his own or if you decide not to do it any longer you can try stretching out the time, and feed him more during the day. It sounds like you have a very happy boy on your hands( mine is too) consider youself blessed (I do).
M.

well, you are definitely not alone... i have a bit in common with you actually. i am 31, the first time mother of a little girl who is almost 9 months old... and rarely sleeps the whole night... this week she did twice, but the rest of the time she wakes up after about 4- 5 hours and wants to nurse and then will sleep another 4 hours for me. so anyways, i dont have a solution for you... i have the same problem... but i just wanted to tell you you arent alone. and good luck. :)

If you are comfortable getting up in the middle of the night, keep doing it! We chose to stop the 2-3am feedings around this time, according to our son's pediatrition, we had been "trained" by him to get up and cater his dinner.
That said, it's a personal choice, and you aren't bad or uncaring if you want to stop. It's REALLY hard once you do, however. We decided to do the cry it out method with a twist. After 5 min of crying, one of us would go in, hug him silently, and leave after less than one minute in his room. 5 min later, same thing. Then, 10 min go by, while you're grinding your teeth, imagining that awful things are happening as your child screams his head off, and after those 10 min, repeat the above behavior, and keep going.
On a bad night, this can take 30 min to 1.5 hours. On a good night, they decide they weren't that hungry after all, and 15- 30 min is all it takes.
Honestly, I think you should do what YOU feel. If you are still nursing enough that you are going to burst if you wake up after a full night's sleep, then make the choice you want to make, and don't feel guilty.
Just know that both ways are good, and neither choice makes you bad.
A.
I just thought of something...maybe when people ask this of you (you know "he isn't sleeping all night?") they don't think anything of it. Like it's just a fleeting thought, and they feel badly that you aren't sleeping as well as you could. I don't know if it helps to think of it that way or not, but I'd just choose to thank them if they seem concerned, and if they push it...THEN let 'em have it. Like "yeah, I do what he needs for now, and later, I'll sleep"

My son didn't sleep through the night until he was about 14 months. Consider yourself lucky you only get up once a night! He is doing just fine, and will adjust as he gets older. Sounds like you are doing everything right! You know your child better than any doctor or "expert", so you will know what he needs and when!
Good luck,
C.