Hi,
I haven't read all the answers, so not sure if I'm repeating other comments.
I don't think a 14 month old needs to eat. Yes, sometimes even adults get hungry in the middle of the night, but we don't necessarily need to eat. We can fall back asleep again and it's not going to affect us adversely. However, I do think that always giving into that, and breaking our sleep cycle could create a habit, and adversely affect our ability to sleep well. I honestly get a little tired of the AP parents who say things like 'I parent my child at night too.' Guess what, teaching your child to be able to sleep well and deeply and get adequate REM and all the rest of it, IS parenting. There's a tremendous amount of brain development that goes on during sleep, and if your child has a night waking habit (which according to sleep expert and ped, Dr. Marc Weissbluth, in his book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", they don't just grow out of - the opposite, actually, can happen, like insomnia problems as adults).
We never really let our son CIO, not because I"m philosophically opposed to it, but it is hard to hear your child cry, and our son would throw up very quickly if he worked himself up (like after 10 minutes even!), so we used a far gentler approach. If you message me your email address privately, I can send you an e-book we followed which was helpful. But my husband was integral in this approach, and still is, because we get bumps on the road (travel, sickness, etc) where I will 'give in' and nurse our son in hte middle of the night, and then he wants it later too. Trouble is hte waking will occur usually around 4am or so - not before 1:30am where it is convenient for your husband. If he's willing to go in before 1:30am but not afterwards there isn't really much truth in him saying it's because she needs to nurse - it's just that it's not convenient for him then.. perhaps? :) Maybe he should take a hard look at what he's willing to do and why. It's his job to parent your child too, which as I said before, includes teaching your child to sleep well.
My son is funny - if I go in he will nurse like crazy. If my husband goes in he'll take a couple of sips from a bottle, but then almost try and launch himself back in the crib. He's NOT hungry. He wants milkies :). The next night, he sleeps right through if he had dad the night before - because he knows. And he is wonderfully happy, affectionate, and all the rest of that good stuff during the day. (Oh, also wanted to say our kids are similar in that our son also is GREAT at self-soothing at naps and bedtime - it's the middle of hte night wakings that needed some weaning/training.) But your husband is key - because he doesn't smell like milk.
If you don't have the Weissbluth book get it and put a post-it for your husband where it speaks about the problems down the road with teenagers and adults who never learnt to sleep properly.
Good luck!
N.
Updated
Hi,
I haven't read all the answers, so not sure if I'm repeating other comments.
I don't think a 14 month old needs to eat. Yes, sometimes even adults get hungry in the middle of the night, but we don't necessarily need to eat. We can fall back asleep again and it's not going to affect us adversely. However, I do think that always giving into that, and breaking our sleep cycle could create a habit, and adversely affect our ability to sleep well. I honestly get a little tired of the AP parents who say things like 'I parent my child at night too.' Guess what, teaching your child to be able to sleep well and deeply and get adequate REM and all the rest of it, IS parenting. There's a tremendous amount of brain development that goes on during sleep, and if your child has a night waking habit (which according to sleep expert and ped, Dr. Marc Weissbluth, in his book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", they don't just grow out of - the opposite, actually, can happen, like insomnia problems as adults).
We never really let our son CIO, not because I"m philosophically opposed to it, but it is hard to hear your child cry, and our son would throw up very quickly if he worked himself up (like after 10 minutes even!), so we used a far gentler approach. If you message me your email address privately, I can send you an e-book we followed which was helpful. But my husband was integral in this approach, and still is, because we get bumps on the road (travel, sickness, etc) where I will 'give in' and nurse our son in hte middle of the night, and then he wants it later too. Trouble is hte waking will occur usually around 4am or so - not before 1:30am where it is convenient for your husband. If he's willing to go in before 1:30am but not afterwards there isn't really much truth in him saying it's because she needs to nurse - it's just that it's not convenient for him then.. perhaps? :) Maybe he should take a hard look at what he's willing to do and why. It's his job to parent your child too, which as I said before, includes teaching your child to sleep well.
My son is funny - if I go in he will nurse like crazy. If my husband goes in he'll take a couple of sips from a bottle, but then almost try and launch himself back in the crib. He's NOT hungry. He wants milkies :). The next night, he sleeps right through if he had dad the night before - because he knows. And he is wonderfully happy, affectionate, and all the rest of that good stuff during the day. (Oh, also wanted to say our kids are similar in that our son also is GREAT at self-soothing at naps and bedtime - it's the middle of hte night wakings that needed some weaning/training.) But your husband is key - because he doesn't smell like milk.
If you don't have the Weissbluth book get it and put a post-it for your husband where it speaks about the problems down the road with teenagers and adults who never learnt to sleep properly.
Good luck!
N.