Another Baby? - Corona,CA

I am in the same boat, my son is 4 and we have been talking about another kid, after a long time of thinking one was enough. I would really like to do it soon, but I have a big race in May, and some other trips and things I want to do before being pregnant, so I need to wait at least 7 months. I don't want to wait any longer for a few reasons, I will be at least 32 when I have my next one (not super old for pregnancy, but I still worry), and I think over 6 years is a bit too long of a separation between kids. I have a brother who is 4 years younger than me, we are super close, but my sister is 9 and a half years younger than me, and we are so far apart, with nothing in common,we aren't even really friends now that she is in her 20s. I think at around 7 years you hit that point where it is harder for them (it sounds like that from the other posts as well). I say go for it sooner rather than later.

Now. The further apart they are the more like 2 different families they will be. They won't be as close as kids who are right next in age to each other.

My sister is 11 years older than me and it's like she's from a different generation. She was all Elvis, Beatles, Record players at parties, black and white tv's, she used outhouses at a lot of the relatives homes out in the country, some didn't have water inside either, and she also went to sock hops for real.

I, on the other hand, did Donny Osmond, the Partridges, I saw people rebel and start wearing their hair long while she was married and living in Alaska, I only had color TV, I went to the skating rink almost every Friday, all kinds of cultural differences.

My brother turned 15 a couple of days before I was born. He got married before I started school. He was off fighting in Viet Nam while I was in elementary school.

My point is that having kids so far apart is not very good for them to be close. They will never be playmates or share secrets or be there for each other. The longer you put off having more children the harder it will be on them.

I truly think that a child every 2-3 years is optimum in age spacing but 5 years is not horrible, it is still doable.

My son and daughter are exactly 5 yrs apart. Granted I only had my daughter 2 months ago the experience has been great so far. He loves her so much. He can't wait to teach her stuff. He started school this year and is learning to read. The other night he read his baby sister a book. He was so proud of himself. I am sure at some point he will be annoyed by her but right now he has no problems.

Good luck!

it's just like acquiring anything else for yourself. it 100% depends on what you want, when you want it. that's it. no one can answer that for you.

I think it is better to have kids when you are ready and able and willing.

I don't think there is any magic formula on age difference, and I doubt anyone can supply a reliable study that says there is!

Children flourish when their parents are in a good space and in sync. Some will say, "the longer you wait, the harder it is." But I say, "The longer you wait, the more experienced you are."

So don't look for a formula! Do what works for your family!

My stepdaughter has 2 kids very close in age, and that's great. But my son is 14 years younger than my stepdaughter, and that's great too!

Congrats on your baby :) We have our little ones about 3 years apart and it is WONDERFUL. You get to enjoy each stage and really focus your time on each child as an individual and also as a sibling. I wouldn't have it any other way---so happy we had them close but not too close together. Good luck with your decision.

My kis are 3.5 years apart 22 months apart and 3 years apart. I love the span and wish they were a little closer, but I wasn't ready for another baby as soon as I thought I might be.

Also, I had my first baby at 27 and my last (fingers crossed) at 36. I can tell you, my body did really well and I had really no issues, since I take REALLY good care of myself nutritionally, physically, as well as emotionally. BUT, physically, it got progressively more difficult as I got older. I just could tell that my body was different. I think women who have babies in their 40's and 50's have to be rock stars!

We travel a lot and now my oldest will be 10 and my youngest is 1.5 years old. We can't just go off to China to see the Great Wall that my oldest would love....since the 1.5 year old will get nothing out of it. It's more difficult to keep them interested trying to do the same activity on vacations.

When our oldest was 3.5 and our 2nd came along, he was great. He willingly (without being asked) wanted to help. He helped to change diapers, pick out clothing and offered to watch the baby while I did some chore, etc. They are ALL super helpful.

My husband and his youngest sister are 9 years apart, but it's almost like a generation apart because they don't know each other's music, books, TV shows. They aren't that close. He enjoyed helping raise her, but beyond that, there's not that sibling bond. My kids are home schooled, so they spend all day together and I really try not to have them raise each other...but more play and read together.

Whatever you decide will work out for your family. Good luck!

Hi J., I'm pretty sure most of your responses will say whatever THEY did works for them (whether they have an only, kids right on top of the other, or spread way out).

That's the nature of families.

In all likelihood, the same will be true for yours.

Whatever you decide, things will work out, ok?

(Naturally since I have 3 less than 5 years apart, and that has worked very well for us, that would be what *I* recommend!)

:)

I take them as they comes so I have some close in age and some further apart. It's all good!

My kid's are 3 years apart and I really like that. My sisters are 4 years older then me and 7 years older then me and the one that is 7 years is so much older that we really didn't have much interaction as I was growing up. I did like being in high school though and having the house to myself though : )
In anycase, whatever decision you make will be the right one for your family.

Closer together. I have 4 kids each about 3 years apart and now that I have a 4 year old and a 13 year old.....no one ever wants to do the same things. It's either too babyish or something the 4 year old cant do. Do it now!

5-6 years apart is a great age span! Each one gets time to be their own person, develop independence and still have the benefits of having a sibling in their life. They are never in high school at the same time, no competition, and not in college at the same time, less of a major financial hit all at once. The one challenge that is unavoidable is when one is 16 and focused on anything other than family and the other is 10 and wants to hangout with their big sibling and role model it can be painful to the younger sibling not being a priority anymore. But they come back to each other in a few years. If the span is much more than 8 years apart the time where they may not be as connected can be longer. Our whole family has a 4-8 year age span between siblings and it is a wonderful span.

There are pros and cons to both it all depends on what works for you. My sister had all her kids at the same time with barely a year apart and she loved it and it worked for her.

My 2 kids are 7 years apart and it has its pluses and minuses. It was great not to have to chase 2 little ones at the same time and was much easier during pregnancy and after to have help with an older child, BUT...

You get used to having kids out of a diaper and it is an adjustment to go back to having a baby, plus it is harder to manage naps when you have an older child always on the go, but the younger one still needs to nap. I am also wondering how close they will be as they grow up as the oldest will be ready to leave when the youngest hits her teen years, so I worry a bit about that.

My son was almost 6 when I had his sister and its been great! He was very understanding during my pregnancy. Especially the times I was tired. He went to all my ob visits also. And now he adores his baby sister and loves being around her. I wouldn't have it any other way. I do think its different since he's a boy, I have my 2 brothers one is 11 years Oder and the other is 13 months older and they are my best friends still.