First, it is completely normal to feel resentment that your life has changed so drastically and your husband's hasn't. A huge chunk of that resentment stems from the fact that your job defines, in a large part, who you are. You have just had to completely re-define who you are (over-night, as it were) and it is not a comfortable feeling.
Second, you are also missing the affirmation that co-workers would automatically give that you are doing a good job, which is kind of a blow to the self-esteem.
Third, further, you probably have only a fraction of adult contact that you used to have. Let's face it. Babies don't have much in the way of conversation, and you go sort of stir-crazy just talking to them all day.
Fourth, in addition to having to take care of yourself, you have to make sure that all of the needs of another human being are met. Your hubby can go out to lunch with buddies at work at the drop of a hat. You need to make sure that baby is changed, fed, napped, has toys and stocked diaper bag, is warm enough, won't be out during feeding or nap time, and what arrangements can be made if he is. The list goes on...
Fifth, last but not at all the least, you have very little time for yourself unless you absolutely insist on it. Then you feel guilty for doing it. Trust me, you NEED it. You will come back refreshed and better able to deal with anything that comes your way if you know you will get time to yourself. (My time to myself is at 4:30am when a friend and I go walking. We go at that time so we don't have to worry about kids, we get exercise, AND we get adult time. Then we come home and go back to sleep.)
Make your hubby read this. It might give him some insight into the mommy mind-set.
K.
(a former corporate high-tech start-up employee who has re-defined herself as her daughter's mom)
P.S. And NO, you aren't the only one feeling the same way. The others just don't say anything because they all think they are the only ones feeling that way, so are embarrassed to say anything about it. Go VENT, girl. You'd be amazed at the flood-gates you will open in others.
A friend who is also a first time Mom called me when her son was 4 months old. She was so frustrated that she was almost in tears, but was appalled at herself for being frustrated at all. She thought that something must be wrong, because "good" moms weren't supposed to feel that way. After all, I was so "strong/organized/active" and never complained. She was very surprised and releived when I told her I'd had those same feelings over the years.