Almost 10 Months and Does Not Want to Sleep in His Crib

Hello,
I had a problem with my daughter napping in her crib. If you email me I can send you the link to all the responses I got. She just kind of grew out of it, but there were some good ideas.
Best of luck!
C.

Dear DKT,

I have a 17 mos old son and had the same problem. Seriously, letting him cry it out is the best solution. It took us two long sleepless nights to get there, but you are setting a pattern for disaster otherwise. Two weeks is nothing in the scheme of things.

If he sleeps through the night in your bed, then it isn't that serious. Make sure he has a FULL tummy before bedtime to rule that out, then when he cries in the middle of the night, you can give him tylenol or orajel to soothe his gums. THEN LEAVE THE ROOM. You have seen to his immediate needs and now you are letting him know it is sleep time, not cuddle time, not eating time - that is a bad thing to do once he has proven he sleeps through the night, don't go back to mid night feedings!! Again you will be setting up his body to wake him up. Just like a grown up who works nights and then has the weekend off, it is hard to sleep nights cuz they are used to being up, it screws up the balance and routine of the body.

If the crying is keeping you up, do something around the house, quietly of course. Fold laundry, surf the net, read, watch tv w/ headphones. You need to set the rules and patterns now, or you will be miserable later - believe me I have seen my brother's wife cave and with each child successfully graduating out of their bed, the next would come along and take it's place, with four kids he has spent more time on the couch, then then his own bed to get good sleep for work the next day.

I am a firm believer in routines, I can plan my day around my son's feedings, naps, and 8pm bedtime. Iknow it is not always a firm schedule, but 90% of the time it is!!!

Good luck and stay strong!! It will get better, sooner or later his body will say enough, I need to sleep and ta da, you have a all night sleeper!

Dear DKT,
When a babies gets his needs met while he is small, it will lead to a more self assured, toddler and pre-schooler. You son is looking for comfort as he is having pain and cannot sooth himself. The presence of mom and/dad is very soothing. When he was in the womb, he heard you breath, heard your heart beat and is familiar with the sounds that you make. The womb was very comforting. Now he is upset and faced with pain, he is searching for comfort, and obviously, he finds in in the bed with mommy and daddy.
This time is temporary, and will pass soon enough. Allow this time for bonding and assurance and you will have a healthier, more well balanced child as he matures.
Dr. C. Demaray

It is totally normal for babies to go through different wake/sleep patterns. Sometimes they sleep through then they don't. Adults do the same thing...

When babies are left to cry it out they don't start self soothing out of a healthy response - they do it because they have given up. They have finally realized that tho they are expressing a clear and audible need, their caregiver is ignoring them and their need will not be met. Eventually they simply give up in despair. Whenever someone talks to me about how good it is for baby to cry it out to learn how to sleep on their own I ask them to put themselves in the baby's shoes. Imagine you are in a bed you can't get out of. You have a need to pee, eat, or are in pain. You call for your caregiver over and over - and they ignore you - all night long. How would you feel? Eventually you give up and learn that your caregiver simply doesn't care about you - at least at nighttime.

For your son, he is 10 months old, he is teething - he hurts. His best source of comfort is you. When he is with you he feels safe and cared for - the pain he may be feeling seems to go away - he can sleep - everyone can sleep. He is also a baby who still needs his mommy and daddy. Being in that crib all by himself can be frightening - which wakes him up right now. Being with you he feels safe and cared for and can sleep through the night - which means you can sleep through the night.

So - if he sleeps through and you sleep through and everyone is good when he sleeps with you - doesn't it make sense to do what works and is easy? Let him stay with you as long as he needs. Right now he still doesn't have many wants when it comes to his parents - those are still needs. He still needs you. Meet his needs and you'll have a happy, secure and independent child in the future!

Hope this helps!

Warmly,

J.

I just went through the EXACT thing! Once I knew he wasn't teething (or hurting very bad at least)...my husband and I turned off the monitors in our room, so I wouldn't wake up with every little noise. I figured if there really was something wrong I would hear him screaming and wake up. Within a couple nights he learned to calm himself down and fall back asleep.

We also recently changed his bedtime routine which seemed to help. I nurse him, then his dad bathes him, reads him a bedtime story and puts him in his crib. It took a couple weeks, but now he rarely even cries in his crib.

Hi! My son is almost 10 months also. We are still nursing, and he was sleeping through the night at 2 months--then stopped at 3.5 months. On a rare occassion (1x/mo) he would sleep through the night--then just recently for the past 8 days or so, he's been sleeping for 9-11 hours! horray! Last night he went to bed at 9 (usual for him) and woke at 1, then at 5:30! aak! :-( I guess I don't have a lot of advice really--this is my 3rd. My two girls slept through the night by 8 or 12 weeks, but I only nursed them for about that long. I've checked out a lot of 'sleep' books at the library and most all of them say to let the baby cry it out--it could take many hours of crying (4 or longer!) I have yet to do that--kind of scared I guess. But, most all of those books have said that once your baby figure out that you're not coming in to get them (while crying for you) they will figure out that it won't work and learn to self soothe and go back to sleep. I'm curious to see if anyone else has had 'sleepless' babies! My son got his first teeth last month, and for a period of about a week he cried every time I put him down in the crib--I think we were up all night one night and he finally went to sleep at 4 a.m.! Anyways, good luck! Let me know if anything works for you!
J.

I would consider myself so lucky if my co sleeping son would STTN with us!! I gave up on the crib and we took it down. I'd just let your baby sleep with you. Is there a strong reason why you guys don't want to co sleep? It's not the worst thing in the world especially if the trade off is sleeping through the night! Wow, I wish that was us!

I am a registered dental assistant for 18 years. The pain of teething is the worst with the first tooth and the first molars. The pain usually lessens once the tooth has broken thru. My daughter started teething at four months and didn't stop until all her teeth were in. I co slept with her for the first 2-3 months until I noticed that nobody was getting the best nights sleep. I have a book by Dr. Marc Weissbluth called "Happy Sleep Habit, Healthy Child" and am a firm believer in him. I strongly recommend getting your son on a sleep routine in his own bed. The teething pain seems terrible but isn't as bad as you would think. On really bad days a little Tylenol at bedtime helps. Teaching him to soothe himself as its an important life lesson but is tough on us moms when you child is crying. I don't want anyone to think I'm cold hearted but using Dr. Weissbluth's book, I was able to get my colicky daughter to sleep thru the night in her own bed at 3 months old. She is now 2yrs old and sleeps from 6pm to around 6am each night. Don't let guilt be your motivator for co-sleeping. I LOVED co-sleeping but noticed that my daughter wasn't as well rested in the morning. I'm sure we disturbed her sleep as much as she did ours. Everyone wakes up several times at night. The key is to teach your son to go back to sleep unassisted. My mother never taught me that lesson as a baby and I have terrible sleep. Sorry if I offended anyone. :)

To me it makes sense to just let him sleep with you. If he sleeps through the night, it seems to be the best solution for everyone.
He is in pain and needs his Mommy! I know it's hard, but this doesn't last forever. :)

Good luck!!! That is all I can say. My son was never an all night sleeper in his crib and now he sleeps in our bed all night! Whatever it takes to get a full night of sleep!!

I have a similar caseans the day care provider told me that I should give pacifiers a chance!

I know this sounds crazy, but rock or nurse him almost to sleep not quite to sleep then lay him down. It will take several trys over several days, but it will help him learn to self-soothe so that he can fall asleep by himself. We are doing this with our 7 month old and it is hard, but it is working. My son will stand in his crib and cry. We wait until he is really crying and not just the whimpering. He will whimper and "talk" to himself as he falls asleep (or nurses, it's just his thing) so we want to ensure he isn't trying to fall asleep before we help him calm back down again. Good luck, and just remember this won't last forever!

Aloha

I'm a mom of 4, & a doc.

While my time is limited & I don't now the medical legal hoopla around giving internet advice - my heart goes out to you.

Try the homeopathic Chamoimille, avail in almost any health food store.

If you're local on the Big Island, &/or would like to schedule a phone consult - my website isn't up yet - email me

Love & Blessings

Dr Linda MD
AlohaMD on Mammasource
____@____.com

My oldest would not sleep at night unless he was between my husband and me. We talked about it at length and decided that all three of us getting a full night sleep was more important than forcing the baby to sleep in the baby bed.

When he was 2, we moved his crib into our bedroom and began placing him there to sleep. He never fought or fussed about it. After 3 months of him sleeping through the night in his crib, we moved it back into his bedroom.

There are two schools of thought on babies in bed with Mom and Dad. It is a very polarizing issue. Do what works best for you and don't worry about the experts telling you that it is wrong. YOU are the only expert on your child.

Enjoy your son, they grow up fast!

I know it's so overwhelming being a new Mom to a vibrant little boy. I know how tired you must be feeling to. However, it's been my experience to just let him be with you and feel safe with you until he's a little bigger. Then wheen him off of the bed with you and your husband. They are only this age for a little while. It will soon end before you know it. My daughter died of SIDS. She cried for me at night as well and since she was my first one, everyone told me to just let her cry. (She was teething as well) All she wanted to do is to sleep by my side. I regret it til this day. So when I had my other children, I made no fuss about there needs and just let them be by my side. They are much older now and they are so happy and heathly little kids. It was so hard at times but in the end, I felt a lot more comforted knowing that all they wanted was my affection. Teething is a hard stage for some kids. But rest assured, it does end. They will move forward.