Advice Regarding Screaming

My experience with this (and I have had plenty of it!) is that they know they can get you to keep coming in and out of their room ....like you said, she just wants the attention. Just tell her after you tuck her in that it is sleeping time, and that you are not coming back into her room, then yes, you have to ignore it. She will eventually tire of this..I promise! Some are more stubborn than others, and may continue for longer, but she will stop if you don't acknowledge the bad behavior. This has been my experience anyway. Hang in there. You are amazing for doing all you do!
(much admiration from a married mom who is not going to school! :-))

My suggestion is to pick one. Either go to her each time, or ignore it each time. If you do a combo, she's most likely to continue because she doesn't know which you'll do. My choice has been to go to my daughter consistently. She did it for a week or so and then has done it an average of less than once a month when she was overtired for the last six months or so.

lol--- ummmm - make her stop how??? ( see - there are a few things that children control--- what comes out of their mouths - and how much goes in-- they are in control of that. YOU are in control of what you do ---I strongly urge you not to go in -- or to go in every 30 minutes ( I know- that's forever) - and then very matter of factly''' lie down, honey--- time to rest'' -- pat, pat ---and out you go. you do NOT want to teach her that screaming gets you running- One of the smartest things I ever read about children is you want them to run to YOU- you don't want to have to try and find 'em - they need to run to YOU- not stand in one spot and scream --that's your goal - and obviously there will be times you do run- but the pattern should be '' if I need Mom I need to go get her''

Blessings,
J.- aka- Old Mom

Gotta love that....ugh!
I'd say a little bit of both....Occasionally my daughter will do this. I usually go the first time after waiting a bit and remind her it is time for bed. If she continues to do it, I let it go for about 15 mins. Usually she calms down and falls asleep. If it persists, I go back, without speaking and lay her back down and cover her up and leave. Then that is it.
Many will say that going in repeatedly causes it to go on longer, but I think if you go in with the right mind frame, no communication after the first time and be consistent, it will work.
Good luck. I know how hard it is.

my daughter would do that everynight...it drove me crazy...then one day she wanted to play baby (me be the baby and she put me to bed). I did as I thought a baby should do, but she kept telling me I had to call for her (it was cute, She would come in huffing and talking like I would to her), so I turned it into a learning game about how baby should act, it seemed to help teach her how to behave in bed. We also created a pictorial chart with bedtime routine, which included "GOING TO BED and NOT SCREAMING"...hope these suggestions help. :)

Ignore it. My daughter went through a phase of doing the same and we just let her go. It would last a few minutes, as long as 10 minutes one night, but it soon lost its appeal once she figured out it wasn't going to get the attention she wanted. She also sits by the door and kicks it, or "plays" the heater grate (like a washboard) to get our attention but both are harmless so we just ignore them and she stops after a few minutes.

Do not respond. Do not go in her room. She is in a attention getting mechanism and if you go in or pay attention to her, she wins. If you ignore her, doing the opposite of what she wants, you will stop what she is doing faster than punishment or reward. And every time you find your self in a power struggle or attention getting struggle, do the opposite of what she wants. It will stop the behavior faster than anything else.

Good luck.

R.,

Aren't 2 year olds fun? *sigh* You've gotten some great advice so far, I just wanted to add that your daughter is by no means the only one that does this.

My daughter is 2 1/2 and will do the same thing about twice a week. She'll kick her blankets off. She'll scream at full volume. She'll stand at the crack in her door and scream at full volume. Most of the time this behavior happens when she hasn't had her full hour of cuddles, or has been super wiggly during those cuddles.

We've tried the super nanny back-to-bed technique and it only made her madder. If I give her roughly 10 minutes of extra cuddles after she's flat pissed she's out like a light.

My daughter is just more needy of my attention, and stubborn and ornery enough to get it, that her brother who is almost 6.

Surviving the two's
Melissa

oh man, the screaming! I'd forgotten about that! My last must be about to hit that stage ... amazing how thoroughly I can release unpleasant remembrances ;).

Yep, all three older kids hit a stage around 2 when they discovered
(1) they *could* scream (very exciting, just on an experiential level) and
(2) screaming *really* gets some interesting reactions, which makes it interesting as a relationship-tester as well.

ARGH, says mommy.

I used a two-pronged approach: defining when screaming was not acceptable (near people, in small enclosed rooms, after bedtime, anywhere in public unless someone was trying to hurt or steal you) and when and where it was (basement or upstairs, if noone else was there) ... and then moving the child to the "ok to scream place" and leaving them there (no significant emotional reward of a mommy reaction), or whatever else was a current pertinent consequence (we can't stay at the restaurant, if it's a place they like; the kid loses treats for the rest of the day or whatever is high stakes for that kid, if they are trying to force the family to leave somewhere and shouldn't be rewarded by the family actually leaving).

And partly, I just didn't care. For at least one of the kids, the rules applied when Daddy was home (because he couldn't handle the noise), but not when he was gone ...

And yeah, I agree with the other mom, it is about three months. Like all other things that seem like they will never end, it will end :).

Hi R.,
After we put our son to bed, if he screams we give him 10 minutes. If he is still screaming then we go in and comfort him and rock him some more, but most often he goes to sleep.
I hope this helps, good luck!

I would ignore her. It may get worse at first, but then she will figure out that she can not manipulate in this manner and will give up.

If you completely ignore her, then she will get tired of it. If something is truly bothering her, her cry will change and you will hear it. I am sure you know the difference between her scared cry, her hurt cry, and her mad at mommy scream. If you respond to her, she will quickly learn that it is a good way to get your attention.

I just have to say this is normal! Our little girl started doing the same thing around the same age! It lasted about 3months.

After discovering that it was to get attention and she was fine, we started ignoring her and she would go to sleep much more quickly then if we went in to her constantly.

You know your kiddo and your instincts will tell you if she really needs you or it's an attention thing. But it is normal and it will end!

Hey R.-
My 19 month old was doing the same thing recently. What we did was just went in and told her we are here, but it's time to sleep now, and she needs to lay down and be quiet, etc. Then we would give a hug and kiss, tuck her in and leave. Next time in we'd just say it's time to sleep now, lay her down and leave. Third time in we say firmly "Goodnight" lay her down and leave. After that we didn't go in again and she'd be worn out enough to fall asleep.

Well, that was about 10 days to 2 weeks ago, and for the last two nights she hasn't yelled at all. I'm not sure what the whole phase is about, but you could see if that Supernanny-style works for you too.
Blessings!

maybe she's afraid or lonely and wants your company. if you don't want to bring her into bed with you, you could lie down with her till she falls asleep, that way she will feel really loved. i breastfed my children to sleep till they stopped nursing at 2-1/2 & 4-1/2, and snuggled them to sleep for several years after that, and they are now wonderful adults who snuggle and nurse their children to sleep. they grow up soon enough!

Id say a lil of both!
My son does this occasionally and I will usually go in give him binky and blankee and say night night and leave.
if he continues to cry ill wait about 10 min before going back in, then cover him um and say nigh night and leave again. So that way he knows I care but not give in and let him out of bed or anything!