Advice Needed for Mom of 2 Yr Old Son That Doesn’t Eat Well.

Why not let him continue eating what he likes? My daughter just started trying new foods and she is nine. It sounds like he eats pretty good to me ...he's just eating what he likes. That's what we as adults do. I won't eat a tomato ever ! As long as he's getting nutritious foods in his system, I think it is okay. I also give my daughter gummy vitamins. Hang in there ..taste buds change .

Hi J.. I had to smile when I read your list of foods that your "poor eater" eats. My 4 1/2 year old will only eat chicken McNuggets, fish sticks and chicken with a brown sauce. He won't eat breakfast. At school, for his 10 a.m. snack, he will only eat brioche buns with chocolate pieces in them (and that only sometimes) or chocolate and vanilla pudding (comes mixed in the little containers). Oh, he will also eat grilled cheese sandwiches. THAT IS IT!!! His 2 1/2 year old sister is following in his footsteps! He refuses to eat ANY fruit or veggies. He used to eat bananas but has given that up. He won't eat sandwiches of any kind, so you can imagine how difficult it is to find something for him to eat at school for lunch.
I have asked my pediatrician about the food issue and he isn't concerned. He said to feed them what they will eat, that they will eventually try new things.
I think that your child eats really well!!! I wouldn't worry about trying to get him to eat new things all the time, feed him lots of the good stuff that he likes!!!! When you come home with your newborn, you won't have the time, as you stated.
I wouldn't "punish" for not eating, by putting him to bed without food. Just feed him what he likes. It sounds like you have done a REALLY good job to get him to eat what he does!! PRUNES??? Cantaloupe??? A DREAM!!!! Ha!
Also, my 2 1/2 year old daughter doesn't speak well either. She rattles off a "sentence" of which maybe ONE word is one I can figure out! Some kids take AGES to learn to talk. I have a friend who's boy started talking when he was FOUR! I have heard that this isn't uncommon. If he understands everything you are saying to him and he responds to what you want him to do, I wouldn't worry.
It sounds like you are really stressed out! I think the food issue isn't as big a deal as you maybe think it is. If you can stop worrying about that and just feed him what he likes, I am pretty sure that things would be a LOT easier for you. Esp. since you have a second child coming home. He won't starve to death. Make things easier for yourself and remember that your kids are only little for a VERY short period of time!!! You should try to enjoy them as much as possible.
Another thing, my 4 1/2 year old absolutely refuses to use the toilet for #2. This makes me SO mad since he can use the toilet for pee-pee and doesn't need diapers all day long. Just to do #2. I used to get really mad about this. But I just finally stopped - I figure he won't be graduating High School in diapers!!! He'll figure it out soon enough. Just an example of misplaced anger - like you with the food issue.
Good luck and congratulations on your soon-to-be-born daughter!

Hi J.,

Having a little experience with this myself with one of my own children and then seeing it with a couple grandchildren - I can now say that having seen it once removed as the grandmother rather than the mom - I see how it can turn into a power struggle very quickly.

2 year olds are trying to learn to navigate the world as an individual for the first time - learning the art of free will. It is a frustrating time for parents as they need to learn to foster this independence without compromising the safety of the child as well as the general rules of the house.

What seemed to work the easiest was to offer (before making) a choice of two - they pick the one they want and you make that. If they then choose not to eat it, that is fine. Children will not starve themselves. :-) Then as this becomes a time of both of you sitting down and having a nice meal together rather than the source of frustration it has become for both of you - you can add some new foods on his plate to try (or not).

Hope this helps some! Congratulations on the new addition coming!

J.,
This is B. (deaffmommie) on the lists. My son and daughter did the same thing with the foods they would eat at this age.

1) don't sweat the small stuff. From the list you described your son sounds like he is getting PLENTY of food and if he eats it GREAT! If not no big deal...
2) Pick you battles. Is this "food battle" a do or die thing with you? If it is, it's one war you can loose.
3) Offer new foods along with the familiar.
What I did with my kids was offer two bites and if it was refused, I tried a few days later. To me, healthy eating habits are encouraged, but not forced.
4) One thing my 1st pediatrian told me when my son was a newborn, toddlers won't intentianally starve themselves. If food is offered they will either eat enough to be satified or they will try again later.
5) personally I would continue to ofter him his snacks, since toddlers have tiny tummies, they need smaller amounts of food at a time.

Last Let this go. It's not worth you being so upset all the time and having your son hate food as a result of it.

Am aside: My nephew grew up eating basically EVERYTHING. Mike stopped eating alomost everything except cheese, milk, crackers, and fruits.

this continued until the present time. My sister is working with his still to get him to try new foods (to him). Pasta, any veggie, and most meats.

Mike has continued to gain weight and grow. a rescent development is he now likes and EATS most meats. Still loves his fruits and breads, but is working on the veggies.

I wouldn't insist he eat something he doesn't care too much for at this stage... it will pass. (Hopefully).

With the not talking. Have you had his hearing checked? He may have a blockage or hearing loss and can't talk.
My daughter had a LOT of waxy build up in her ears and many ear infections (she was a day care kid) and did not talk beyond the word limit your son has... She went thru the Babies Can't Wait program for speech therapy.

Hope this helps,
B.
deaffmommie

What you described sounds like the normal 2yo diet to me :). This past year, I didn't have the time to cook every night, so I always gave DS something quick and easy that I knew he would eat. Every now and then I'd try something new, but he would have nothing to do with it. Now, my DH is back (he was working out of town), and he cooks dinner every night. We were still giving DS the same things I had been giving him, but have found that he's actually more interested in what we're having. He actually asks for a bite of our ratatouille, or eggplant, or stuffed chicken, or whatever. He may not like it, but he's at least trying it. I'm sure after a few tries, he'll want his own serving :). Most of the times now, he does eat what we do, minus anything green.

I wouldn't make too big of a deal about it or he may begin to see eating food as a negative experience. His diet seems pretty good for a two year old (they usually only like a limited number of things). Just offer him new foods as you are eating them (don't make them especially for him). Also, it's not worth stressing over with a new baby coming. He's eating a balanced diet to help him grow/develop well, and that's what matters.

His diet sounds great to me. Most kids his age don't even eat that. Kids are just picky at this age. He is getting plenty of what he needs.

Hi, J.-
Try to be patient with him. My 22 month old, after several months of eating veggies, decided she hates them now. She only wants to eat bread, chips (albeit healthy ones), and anything white. This is quite typical of most toddlers, especially at this stage. Just relax and keep offering him small portions of healthy foods. If he refuses it, just take it away and have a back-up meal that he will eat available. You can always give him a choice of two or three healthy items to choose from. If he refuses all, then just give him something he will eat. You can always supplement with Pediasure (if he'll drink it)or formula for ages 9-24 months, which is what I give my daugher, to make sure he's getting his nutrition. Don't worry...a lot of your frustration may have a little to do with being pregnant. I just went through what you're going through (I have a 22 month old, picky-eater, high-strung daughter who still doesn't sleep through the night, and a 10 wk. old little boy). A word of caution though--he may get a little worse once the baby's here, just out of normal jealousy! So be prepared...

Hang in there...it will get better! You know the saying, "This too shall pass." I have a 15 yr. old son, a toddler and a newborn. My 15 yr. old was a great eater from day one. My daughter isn't. They are all different and tend to go through several stages--of liking something, then not liking it--whether it be food or TV shows or toys. Just know that you're doing your best and you're a great mom to be so concerned about your precious child. He's just a normal two year old! And best wishes with your new baby to come! :)

I think it is great that you are trying to make sure that your child tries a variety of foods. What I do though, is save the new foods for dinner. Allow them to choose what they want for breakfast and lunch, within reason, and then Make a dinner that introduces new veggies or foods that you would like him to try. Make sure that you let him know that this is what the family is having for dinner. I tell my children that they need to take 3 bites of each item on their plate - 1 to see if their mouth likes it, 2 to see if their tummy likes it, and 3 to see if they agree. I'm sure he will eat something on his plate and if not, I would explain that there will be no other snacks for the night so if he gets hungry he can come back and eat his dinner. You can store the plate in the refrigerator and heat it up if it wants it later. I don't feel like this is starving your child, and as long as you are consistant, after a few times of doing this I think he will get the idea.
I think it is good to allow your children some choice when it comes to food and breakfast and lunch are the times when they can choose what they want, but dinner time is a time when Mom has to prepare a meal for everyone, so except for special occasions, Mom chooses. Hopefully this will be a good time to introduce foods also because you will have the support of your husband. Good luck

Just feed him whatever you make for yourself, that is what we do. Now, breakfast and lunch, we ask them what they want. For dinner, they get whatever we are having. The person who mentioned Kate and Jon with Kate saying the kids get what she makes or they don't eat. That is how we are in our house, with a few minor exceptions. I am grateful that our kids eat an amazing variety of foods, we very rarely eat out so they think of chicken nuggets or cheeseburger happy meals as a special treat as opposed to their normal diet.

My five year old is my pickiest child, but he still knows he has to eat two or three bites of everything even if he says he doesn't like them (like potatoes, he doesn't like them mashed or baked, but he still has to eat two or three bites every time, and he will do so.)

Good luck with the new baby!

I have been getting these momma source emails for several weeks now and this is the first one I feel compelled to respond to. You sound just like me when my son was two; I worried about it too much and tried so hard but I beat my head against a brick wall for many years. Once my son turned six, (first grade) I think it was partly a peer thing (trying new foods by seeing his friends eating things) and combined with my husband and I relaxing some; he started to do better. I caution you about making it a big deal. I did that and it was a mistake. Dinnertime became a battle. My son was determined not to try anything new because he felt like he was being forced; and it would just irritate all of us. So, one night I decided that as he pitched his fit, to ignore him. I did that and I told him that his behavior was not worth my attention. Then, my husband and I started a new thing where at least try something (one bite) and then if you don't like it; don't have to eat it. All of a sudden he was trying new things and dinnertime was better.

This is a comomon problem. From the list you gave me, it sounds like your son is eating fine for his age. I now have a daughter that is two and she eats less than my son did. I have not been stressing over it this time however and life has been better.

hope this helps, T.

Hi J. -- I don't have a solution but wanted to offer encouragement. Your 2 year old eats a much better variety of foods than my nearly 2 year old does. I would love to know the secrets on getting your child to eat as much as you do!!!

I struggle, too. I try to find a good balance on offering new stuff while sticking with the old. Life is too stressful enough without battling it out during meal times.

Kate of Jon & Kate Plus Eight fame said the other night that her kids know they have to eat what she cooks, or they just have to wait for the next meal. I would love to feel that way. But for now, I just keep some pb and bread ready to go...just in case.

Good luck!

D.

Well, I can say this I have a child that had years of speech starting at 2 and am very thankful. My son was developmental delay since he could only say 3 or 4 words, his situation was needing ear tubes and didn't get them in time which set him back to be considered delayed for his developmental stages. May I suggest to you something that may help you and him and my son once at age 3 went to a public school special ed prek a book or two from Barnes and Noble one is called Baby Sing Language: Find out what's on your baby's mind and Baby Sign Language Basics... these are used by parents before a baby even talks it's been proved that babies can communicate with sign language before they can even say words that's because our language is very difficult. Hope you consider it, it helped us and then I used the sign language with my other children and yes he will learn to talk you will find the speech therapy will consist on play therapy as the therapist give your child toys they will say the words you can use sign language with speech they do in prek special ed and it really helps children to talk more then just saying words, since you make the sign and say the word. Anyway enough about that. Stop worrying about the different foods it maybe until he's 7 or 8 before he's willing to try many different things he is being normal right now and you as a mother are too. We all want our kinds to try a rainbow of veggies and fruits but in the real words I didn't at his age and neither did you. Even as adults I will eat somethings others think is gross say something like eggplant I love it other adults don't. He still really is new to this to this world of different textures, colors, smells. He uses all of his senses that adults sometimes don't. Listen make food a little interesting stop and get something off the computer the world is at your finger tips check out the sneakychef.com. Remember when making some food make it fun make a pizza on a pita bread make the cheese into a smile face, scrambled eggs put raisens as eyes and bacon two strips broke in half two halves as his feet the other two as his ears call them alien eggs. Make Mickey Mouse pancakes one big one as the head and two little as the ears. Yes he's you but you will amuse him. Here's what all the experts say and I have tried it and yes I'm surprised it works make what he likes try one new food small portion on a side plate leave it if he tries it great, if he likes it great. If he doesn't try it don't force it don't offer it or say a word about it the less of a big deal you make it the less of a big deal it is. Stop stressing over it, once new family member is born you will be very busy getting up in the night to feed the baby it's not worth worrying over to much. Fix you son what he likes and will eat once in a while add one new thing and see if he tries it make it in a small amt and forget it. I have a 7,5 and 4 yr old been there done that from my experience I now am living with them still liking what they like once in a while they try something new like rice only one child will eat it, chick off the bone only one likes it, blueberry only one likes it, strawberries 2 like them. And you know what it's ok. My sister has 6 kids not all of them like what another likes her youngest is 12 when she makes dinner she makes it you either like it or no (they are older) if one or two don't like it they make themselves a sandwich..they life goes on. Now for you don't be so hard on you or him rest right now in a week life is about to change again, make what your son likes and what you like and enjoy your life he's about to grow up so fast you won';t believe time has passed. My best wishes to your and your family. Oh by the way a nurse told me if my kids don't eat give them cheerios or whatever cereal they like and call it a day even for dinner she said it has everything they need in it and kids aren't real meat eaters either.

Five words at 14 months? I thought that was pretty good!

All the (sane) advice I've read says there are 3 things you can't force a kid to do: eat, sleep, or potty.

He's not doing anything out of the ordinary, in fact, "a short person who doesn't eat their vegetables" could be the definition of a "child". And making the mealtime experience a time of stress is probably worse than any of the vegetable or new-food issues. (Besides, this doesn't
sound like a picky eater at all to me. For a two-year-old, he's perfectly normal and typical.)

Plus, you and he both have enough stress right now. His whole world is about to get turned upside down, you're about to be so sleep-deprived that you can't think straight, so just give him what you think he'll eat and give him vitamins. These are the days or Cheerios, mac n cheese, and PBJs. If the lack-of-vegetable thing is really getting to you, keep fruits around to serve as-is, or make into smoothies. Grocery stores also sell smoothies and really good juices, like Odwalla's "Super Greens" or Bolthouse Farms "Green Goodness".

The reason this is classic behavior for this age is that, for thousands of years, a child this age could wander off
out of his mother's eyesight and eat things on his own. A kid who was always trying new foods would also be more likely to eat some poisonous berries. While the kid who only ate VERY familiar foods would survive. It's biologically hardwired, and a toddler's need to avoid unfamiliar foods is almost as stong as our need to keep our head above water to keep from drowning.

Know that this behavior has a biological reason made it easier for me to deal with. My son (now 4), has managed to survive on what seems like 10 calories a day.

Drop the pressure, give yourself (and him) a break, and don't let mealtime become a battleground.