How to NOT Raise a Picky Eater

My kids will eat almost anything. I used my moms method. I never say anything is yucky. They have to try everything, just a taste and if they don't like it well at least they tried. It takes a child at least 10 tries sometimes before they like a certain food. As adults we are the same way. I always offer everything to them. And it has worked great for us. They like to try new foods all the time. Good Luck!

What you do NOT DO is offer them something you know they like after they've rejected what you gave them in the first place. WHat you offer is what they have to eat. If they're hungry, they will eat it. If they reject it, they probably aren't that hungry. If you routinely replace rejected food with favorite food, they will learn to reject what you offer (be picky) in order to get favorite foods.

IDK - I'm a picky eater, and my parents went by the eat this or don't eat at all. I was a very skinny kid until I moved out on my own. I don't do stringy and I eat my meat VERY dry. Therefore - with my kids, I offer a wide variety to eat from.. we usually have a fruit, a veggie, a dairy, and a meat at almost every meal - or when there's sandwiches, I offer a choice of PBJ or Grilled cheese (for example).

I also have a couple of fast standbys - my five year old is every bit as picky as I ever thought of being, and his dinner is quite often oatmeal (plain stove top oatmeal, I refrigerate breakfast leftovers in gladware and nuke it and he usually adds whatever fruit we're eating to it, or a spoon full of peanut butter. Both of my kids will always eat fruit salad (mixed peaches and pears with some grapes and apple chunks thrown in) or apples and peanut butter with a glass of milk or soy milk. My whole family likes red beans and rice, and I cook a pot of those a week - a bowl of leftovers is sometimes dinner for the 5 year old if my husband and I and the other kids are having, for example, steak and potato (my 5 year old won't TOUCH meat .. he spit it out even as a baby, and choked on meat spaghetti sauce well before he was old enough to realize the difference. He gets violently ill at the sight now.)

Notice even when they're not eating a huge variety - they're still eating healthy.

S.

Okay - sometimes I really feel that kids are unfairly labeled "picky" when they just aren't that hungry or else they have certain food phases that they are going through (where they are stuck on one or two foods and want nothing else). I honestly think that is just a normal phase kids go through. My son is 14 months old and right now he is stuck on yogurt and sweetened puffs cereal at the moment. But last week he was stuck on chicken nuggets and bananas, and now this week he won't even touch those things! So anyway, don't stress! He will eat when and what he wants. I mean - come on - the poor guy is still figuring out what he likes and doesn't like at this point, so just give him time to process all the new tastes.

Good question -- not sure I have an answer for you, but here's what we do: Our little one still gets a variety of baby meat/veggies becuase I am still not comfortable with "making" her eat what we eat or letting her starve. With that said, anytime we eat together she is allowed to point and eat anything from our plate (I also fix her a side plate of what I think she will eat of whatever we fixed/bought). I am amazed at the stuff she likes and doesn't think twice about shoving in her mouth. Our yet to reach milestone is texture mixing. She still only wants one texture at a time so we pick our meals/side items based on what we think she may eat. If she does not eat much of whatever it is, we simply give her some rice/oatmeal cereal (again, just so I can sleep at night secure that she isn't withering away).

I really don't know if you can. My son loved everything but peas when he was little - didn't blame him on the peas have you ever tried them pureed? He'll eventually eat the fruits and veggies after much protesting and sounding like that little girl on the commercial "I don't like that" to everything. Now that he's 3 the only green thing he eats willingly is guacamole. I think it's more of an assertion of his independence now but it started around 2 ish. I know it's mainly a phase and he'll grow out of it. I think anyone who has a good eater at 2 and 3 is extremely lucky!

When my kids were little, I made their baby food from frozen vegetables. They would get colorful green beans, peas, carrots, sweet potatoes. I even made chicken soup, chicken livers, and beef kidneys for them. As they got older the texture changed and they still ate well. You have to start little and continue to introduce foods sometimes things (chicken livers or beef kidney) that you might not like but they have iron in them to keep them healthy. I made baby food once a week and froze it in the baby glass fruit jars. My daughter did for a while go through a phase where she wanted hotdogs and would eat chicken for meat. My son ate everything and still does to this day. Just be patient but don't give into the highly processed foods. I am not knocking one of the posters but she would feed her child spaghetti, corn and bread. All three are starches. Please use the basic 7 food group to help plan healthy meals. Kids like color when they eat so do adults. Good luck and keep on trying. The other S.

First, I think all kids go through stages of being kind of picky. I have never made food an issue with my kids and I think that is why they are such good eaters. We always ate at the table, at specific times, and they ate what was in front of them. Now, for more details. Eating at the table at specific times...I mean don't let them get "finished" with eating, go play, and then come back to the table again. Worth with them at home on sitting at the table until everyone is done b/c it's polite (plus, when you are at a restaurant, they can't just get up and go play when they are done). I don't mean have a 1 year old sit for 2 hours, but he should be able to sit for 20-30 minutes while everyone eats. Second, specific times - I've seen people say "are you ready to eat?" and the kid says "no". Well, then at 8:00 when you are putting them to bed, the kid hasn't eaten and says "but I'm hungry" and the mom thinks "well, he never did eat, I'd better fix him something" NO WAY!!! You have breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks and if they choose not to eat at breakfast, then they'll eat at their snack time and they'll eat at lunch. Kid's are like anyone else...have you ever not been hungry at lunch and then ate a big dinner? It' happens! Finally, don't do the whole "clean your plate" thing. Kid's are wired to stop eating when they are full. If they are turning their head or saying all done, then let them be done. BUT don't give tons of snacks later. Just a small snack until the next meal so they don't skip meals in favor of snacks. Finally, have a 1 bite rule. We always had a "no thank you bite". You may say that you don't want any more meat, potatoes, etc. if you take one bite - then you can say "no thanks". Also, no seconds until they've tried everything. When my kids were young (say 3-4) here's what a dinner might be - spaghetti, corn, bread. If they took a bite of everything, they could have more corn or maybe even more bread, but if they didn't take a bite of everything, then no more of anything. Make since? I also tried to make sure that I had at least 1 thing my kids liked so they would be able eat something. For instance, the spaghetti dinner, my son LOVES spaghetti, my daughter loved it as a 2 year old, but at about 5 started saying she didn't like it. But, she liked corn, so I'd fix her a little spaghetti, corn and a piece of bread. If she ate the corn and took a bite of spaghetti, she could have more corn. As she got older (now 8), she'll eat the spaghetti, and then ask for plain noodles with butter and parmesean cheese...that's ok, as long as she has eaten the spaghetti first. Now that they are older I can tell them "even though this may not be your favorite meal, it's a meal, and we need to be thankful and eat it." They get that now and will say "this wasn't my favorite", and if the majority of the family doesn't like something, I don't make it again.

I hope these tips help. The main thing is don't make more than one meal. You can serve kid friendly, but if you put dinner on the table and they choose not to eat, it's ok - they won't starve if they miss 1 meal, and they need to learn that you eat what you get, and that it's polite to eat what you are served. Would you want them to go to a friends house and the mom put dinner down and them go "UGH, I'm not eating that!" If you don't want that to happen, then teach them at home that it's unacceptable!

i have two girls that are 21 months apart. one is a picky eater one is not. Though there are things you can do to encourage good eating habits, i personally think it is personalilty. i think they come hardwired to be one way or the other. They will also of course go through stages through out their lives but generally i think it's personallity.

If you can, try to make enough food the night before so that your husband is able to give your child left overs. Offer him anything you would eat minus the unhealthy junk food. Remember too, that if you like salt and certain spices your son will probably like it too and may eat better for you than he would with non flavored foods. As he grows do not give very many options, but rather incourage good eating behavior. Try to eat on time and not wait to long so that he does not get hungry between meals which will result in unhealthy eating haits. Kids get picky when they know they can get an alternative if they refuse to eat. Parents will give in to make sure their child gets enough calories and to keep from hearing them whine. Do understand though that while your child is teething he may resist certain foods. Molars are probably the hardest. Because they use their gums to break through and soften food, it can be very painful to sore gums. Just be careful to not replace with junk food, but try soft fruits, cut up green beans...things that can be easily swallowed.
Good luck. It sounds that you are doing things right--you care that is most important.

I don't know if you can! My daughter turned one in January. She used to eat everything we put in front of her...I was determined to not have a picky eater, so I tired to give her a little bit of everything so she'd develop a taste for it. She ate all veggies, tofu, chicken, fruit, whatever...then she turned ONE. Now she won't eat anything! Our go to foods right now are bananas, cheerios, cheese & yogurt...those are the only things I know for sure she'll eat. It's frustrating that she went from being a great eater to incredibly picky, but everyone assures me it's a phase that all kids go through and to just continue to offer her a variety of foods and eventually she'll start eating them again. I hope so...Good Luck! :)

I was so determined to expose my child to everything and raise a good eater (I was super picky as a kid). Whatever. She's now 2 and just won't put stuff in her mouth that she's not interested in. We have a typical toddler eater on our hands - breaded chicken and fish, tortillas, toast, sun butter (peanut allergies in our family), some fruits. Lately she won't even eat cheese! I do give her whole wheat bread and tortillas, but she'd eat crackers and other snacks all day if she could.

Hi A.!
Well, I am the mother of 2 teens who eat nearly everything. Neither of them are picky eaters. When they were little, I made them anything I fixed at least once. They had to take 5 bites of something before they could stop. By doing that, my kids have learned to at least try stuff. My daughter does NOT like peas. There is nothing my son doesn't like.

If your hubby has to feed your son early, be sure to save your left-overs. Little ones that size don't need much... even if its just a few bites..save it. I would encourage offering everything you can. Drs do say not to introduce a new food more than once every two weeks to make sure there aren't any allergies.

I will offer two more things...I never took my kids for fast food until they were 3. But you do have some healthier options now -- Chick-Fil-A offers apples with their meals.

And, I always offered fruits and veggies as snacks. Even now, my 14 year old SON will get an apple or orange for a snack over chips or anything else.

Good luck! Healthy eating habits are SOOO important.

I bought the Gerber Graduates meals to feed my daughter until she reached about a year old. We gradually gave her food from our table when we cooked. But if we didn't eat or weren't eating something nutritious I always gave her one of the Gerber graduates meals.

I am no expert, but I will say that it can be a very individual thing. When I hear parents say, "My child eats what I serve and I don't give them a choice", I wonder if they just have an easy going child. My oldest son was a great eater until about three and then he slowly became more picky. He is thirteen now and will eat most anything or at least try it. My younger son has always been picky. He is now nine and has slowly broadened his choices, but is still pretty picky. I think you have to be careful not to make eating a battle ground. I do not believe you can physically force a child to eat or to go to sleep. You can make them sit at the table for hours or in their beds, but this is one battle you cannot win.

I took an early childhood development course in college and they said that kid's taste buds are more highly developed than adults. As we age, our taste buds are "worn down" and we actually don't have as strong a sense of taste. Therefore, children are more sensitive to taste. Also, many children have issues with texture. Both of my sons are "gifted" and they tend to be very sensitive to labels in their clothes, a wrinkle in their sock, etc. So, tastes can be very individual - some kids just really are naturally more picky.

All that being said, you should not cater to their pickiness nor allow them to control their diet. Continue to serve healthy, well balanced meals, but allow them to eat what they want from the foods offered. I make sure that at each meal there is something healthy that my picky eater will eat. I never force him to try food or even make an issue of it. I don't reward him with junk food, if he does not eat what is served. My pediatrician says that if your child is healthy and growing normally, then they must be getting the nutrition they need.

Dear A.:

I have heard that children look to their mother to see what is healthy to eat and they look to their father to see what tastes good. If your husband is a picky eater, your children may very well grow up to be picky eaters too.

My parents always made us try foods. We HAD to eat healthy. When I was older (about 8) I could make my own meal, but it had to be nutritious - a fruit, vegetable, whole grain and protein.

Good Luck!

Jen

Hi A.,

I am a working mom of a beautiful 16 month old daugther and she went through a phase of being pickey as well. Her dad and I started introducing her to table food around 9 months. Mainly mashed potatoes, mashed veges (green beans, things like that), mac and cheese to start. Soft items that he can get down and will like the taste. They don't need alot at that age, as long as you are still giving the required amount of milk daily. Their taste buds are different so it will take alittle while before he starts to eat more. She would eat alot, then went through a phase around 1 to where she'd look at it and not eat it. So he will go through ups and downs with it, but don't force him to eat anything..let him get really hungry and try to introduce it again and new foods every week is good too. Now, she eats almost anything, spaghetti, loves chicken. Buy quick items that can be heated up in the microwave if you don't have time to cook. Spaghetti O's, mac and cheese, the gerber graduates types of items and they will work just fine. Give a supplemental vitamin if you worry he doesn't eat enough also. I think not forcing him will keep him from being really pickey. Wait till his hungry, show it to him and let him try to eat it on his own once he's alittle older. Hope this helps!!

You can always puree your leftovers and freeze them so your husband can reheat them. I made my kids baby food. Good luck.

9 1/2 months is really too young to worry. Just keep offering him a variety of different foods. The more he is exposed to at this age, the better of your are. They will go through phases of just eating green beans or apples, or whatever. One thing I have learned is that eventually they will come around; however, you never know unless you continue to offer. I have wasted a ton of food over the last few years. The trick is to just serve a little, then if that day they just really love it and want more. Then you can alwasy add to their plate. As you son gets older he will start to eat dinner when you guys do - it does get a bit more flexible. My daughter is now 2 and she eats dinner with us. We eat around 7pm or so.

I gave my son all kinds of different foods when he was your son's age, but I still ended up with a picky eater. I think most kids go through a picky phase and some kids are just very picky about what they eat. I know a few adults who are very picky, too, and I bet they were as children. Everyone is different. Good luck!

What I have done and will continue to do, is make whatever we are going to have for lunch or dinner, and then if my kids don't want it, they don't eat. This is what my mom did with her 8 kids, and there is not one picky eater in the house. She always told us that she wasn't a restaurant.

You will be surprised how often (almost always in my case) your kids would rather eat something they don't love than not eat at all. I offer fruit at the beginning of lunch, and vegetables before the main dish at dinner. If they don't finish them first, then they can't have anything else. Like any other parenting techniques, consistency is key. If you give in, it will make it a lot harder. Your kids aren't going to starve to death if they miss a meal or two while they learn the rules. Good luck! Life is so much easier on everyone when you have a good eater. My friend's child, who I babysit occasionally, is the pickiest eater I know. It is so hard to feed him. He eats almost nothing but PB & J sandwiches.

When you do cook meals, I would take left overs and mash or chop them and give them to him. He should be eating regular table food by a year. I was never a fan of baby food. I always took food and blended my own baby foods except for meat. It never came out fine enough. I have been with a now 2 yr old that has a reflux with food and refused to eat nothing but fine foods. So over a year we have had to give him really baby food I have made. Little by little I just kept giving it to him less and less fine. He now eats with the other kids and it takes him a long time because he will leave it in his mouth forever but he is eating. I figure he is not going hungry when he eats certain things. It is like a baby bird little pieces but he is doing it and their is no medical reason he can not eat. They think that when he had tubes down his throat as a preemie something bothers swallowing but he is progressing and talking and walking and like the other children. He is also big now after being 1.9 at birth miracle baby. So sweet. He will eat if you let him. I had a 10 mo old eat everything. Just make left overs, heat it up in microwave and make sure not too hot. Let him try. G. W

Leftovers. My 11-month-old will eat anything she sees my husband and me eating, so either we have dinner when she's hungry at 5 pm (this usually doesn't happen), or she eats leftovers from the previous night's dinner. She and I also eat leftovers together for lunch most days. I think that them seeing what you're eating and enjoying helps alot, and the more varied your diet is, the more varied you child's will be too, especially if you "share" what you've got. Good luck.

My son ate anything up to about 2. Then he was a VERY picky eater for a couple of years. Then he slowly starting adding back foods he had eaten in his younger years and new foods. Today he is 33 and eats sushi.

His 3 year old is starting the same pattern. The one year old eats anything so may be starting the same pattern. I asked my mom and she said we all (6 of us) had times when we were picky, but she can't remember the ages.

My pediatrician said that as long as he was healthy, let it go. Choose your battles. Don't fuss unless it's really important.

D. Kimbriel
Grandma to 2 beautiful boys

I would say, start off by feeding him a variety of healthy foods. Avoid fast food, soda, candy, chips and such. Instead offer foods that are kid friendly- small soft fruit pieces (cut up banana, peaches, cantelope, melons, etc)... and veggies that are cooked soft enough not to cause him to choke (cubed potatoes, carrots, and such). Offer these as finger foods so he can feed himself, alot of times, this will work better for the child trying things then being fed. I think for the time being, you make have to cook things separate than what you eat due mainly to children not needing so much salt and spices on their foods.

You could take one evening and prepare some foods that he can eat over the next few days... fix up a few bowls in the frig so dad just has to take them out and warm up or give to your son.

It's great that they have a great relationship.

We never gave our kids a choice. They have always been great eaters though! Even good eaters go through picky spells though.

I know parents that make their kids pb&j for dinner, without ever even offering them the actual "adult" dinner food. So now, the kids always expect just to eat junk and won't eat anything else.

Our kids have always eaten what we are eating as adults. I make sure I don't put too much butter/salt/spice... on the foods I prepare (my husband can do that to his plate, but I make it kid friendly). Then we cut up the food small on the kids plates and they eat that.

An example for dinner would be chicken, rice, green beans and peaches with a cup of milk.

If your husband isn't eating well, then maybe he needs a refresher course in nutrition... you could always sway it as his eating habits being an "example" to the kids! Really though, if he doesn't make fresh foods, there are baby/toddler finger food meals that are prepared that he could use, but they rally need more variety than what those meals have to offer (they are packed with so many preservatives and salt to eat daily.)

My daughter is 14 and I was certainly blessed with a great eater.

I always offered whatever I was serving for the meal. Unlike some other moms, I did always make sure a favorite food of hers was offered as well. I do the same thing for myself and hubby.....everyone deserves a favorite or preferred dish.

Daughter went through a somewhat picky stage but never anythen bad. To this day if she is offered junk food or fruit, she will pick the fruit....because it is her favorite. Same with veggies...my friends could not believe that her favorite restaurant (still is a favorite) was Luby's veggies.

Good luck

I never gave my girls a choice. They eat what we eat and we eat very healthy. When we would have guest over they would be amazed that all three of by girls (2,5&8 at the time) would get their brocolli first. Honestly when my oldest was 2-3 and she didnt want to eat her food I would give it to her the next day. I know it sounds cruel but she then learned to eat what we gave her...things are just better the first day:-) I never had to do that with my other two. Our "treat" is peanutbutter and honey for lunch on Fridys. But all other days we eat very healthy foods. If you take all the "junk" out of their diet they will not crave it and will eat better foods. They will also crave fruits for dessert. My 6 year old will turn down ice cream for an apple. She will eat an apple every meal if we would allow her to. I hope this helps. Have a blessed day.
K.
www.HumanOctane.com

we have 4 kids. with our 1st child we went by the book and introduced foods exactly like the pedi told us. we did not feed table foods...just strictly baby foods until he turned 1. our 2nd child we did baby foods a first but introduced table foods earlier than our first. our 3rd child (a girl) she really didn't like baby food so we just gave her table food. i have a small food processor that i'd just grind up whatever we were eating. she did have her favorite casseroles and chicken soup she liked. our 4th child is now 18mos and he has never eaten a bite of baby food. He is strictly table food. Out of all our kids...our 3rd and 4th child are our best eaters. Our 1st child (which was only feed baby food) is our pickest eater. I definately think it helps to introduce them to taste early on. They might not like it at the time but keep offering it from time to time to have them develop their tastes.