Advice for Weaning a 2 Year Old from Pacifier

Here is another way to look at this issue. When my granddaaughter was 2, she came to live with us for a year while her parents were working out their own problems, Being separated from them was stress enough, I felt, so I let her keep her beloved pacifier at sleep times. She used it until she was 5. When she started kindergarten she would forget about it for months, then find it in the toy box and use it for about a week or two, then forget about it again. One day she found it and said, "Grandma, remember this was my pacifier when I was a baby?" She was the one who weaned herself when SHE WAS READY. She is now in 3rd grade, has beautiful teeth, just got straight A's on her reportcard, and writes articles in her elementary school newspaper. Tonight I am going to school to watch her in her school play. She has a lot of strength and confidence in herself and I think that is important. Too many of us develop issues that we deal with for life because things that comfort us are taken away. Does this have anything to do with this pacifier? I don't know but I want to think so. I was warned by "everyone" to take it away from her but I listened to my own heart.

I let my daughter have it at 2, but when we decided to wean her from it, at 3 I think it was, we cut the tip off, and with her binky then being so foreign-feeling and sounding, she gave it up herself.

Hi
My name is Lisa. I have a 2 year old boy who will be three in august and I weaned him this way. I took all of his pacifiers and told him the babies in heaven needed them badly. We went to the balloon shop and bought 6 helium balloons and i tied all 8 of his pacifiers to the balloons and explained to him his pacies were going to heaven for all the little babies. I continued to describe in detail the best way I could how nice he was being by giving the babies his pacies. He seemed to be okay w it and we tied the pacies to the balloons and he let em go. He cried and then it was over. He would forget about the situation day to day and I would remind him what he did w them and then he would be ok with it. The important part is explaining the story throughout the day and then letting him release the balloons. Hope this helps.

Lisa

Hi M.!

At 2 years old, I wonder...what's the rush?

I'm not sure I have the right opinion for you, but I decided long ago that a pacifier was developed for a nuturing reason, and it does a great job for those who don't suck their thumb. I believe that some toddlers have nuturing needs that may last longer than others. Why take it away if it's giving him a sense of security?

My son LOVED his pacifier! I went with my "heart" and not a "rule book" on this. Taking it away was too difficult, and it felt wrong, and he was highly attached to it.

I began telling him it was for sleeping and resting only. Each time he "needed" his pacifier, I told him he needed to go to his room so he could have it on his bed, because pacifier's are for resting. Your son is a little bit young for this, but at almost 3 (like my son was) it worked great. I never made it a "bad or negative" thing, just simply "yep, pacifiers are for resting, are you tired?..." They eventually get too busy to lay down and rest, and choose to play over their pacifier.

My son eventually had a pacifier box, which is where he "hid" his pacifiers, because he was becoming more aware. Then one day, he just didn't need one to fall asleep.

In my opinion thumb-suckers suck their thumbs for as many years as they need to, but pacifiers are supposed to be done with by a certain age???? Nope!

In my mind they are both for the same need.....security, sucking need, habit, whatever..... your boy still needs it, or he would be done with it by now.

I hope I helped in some way. This is not an easy one!

~N. :O)

We cut the tip also, and it worked great!

Ditto what the other moms said - cutting the tip off is the way to go. My youngest was a binky addict and I was just SURE that she would be heartbroken to give up the binky. But, we cut the tip off and the first time she put it in her mouth after that, she looked at me all confused and said, "It's broken!" She ran to the binky drawer (yes, we had a drawer of them) and tried the others - all broken! After a few hours of sucking on a broken binky, she decided she was all done. Simple as that! No tears, no drama.

M.,

I completely understand! What I did with my son was cut the tip on all of his pacifiers, he lost interest quick and he was the one who decided to throw them away. I explained to him that the binkies were old and tired and he didn't need the binkie anymore. We went to the store and picked out a toy that he could take with us when he was tired or needed some comfort. My advice, do it now...don't wait- do it before you transition him to childcare. There will be an adjustment period with pre-school-you don't want to have to add on more stress. Good luck!

Molly

I just went through this with my 3 year old. I couldn't agree more with the comments from Roberta and Nicole. I tried a couple of times since she was 2 but each time it was so disruptive I just went with my gut that she wasn't ready. She mostly used them for sleeping and when she was tired. Often at bed time we'd have to hunt for a paci and one night about 3 months age we couldn't find it and she wasn't up set. We'd been talking about the binki fairiy so I said maybe she came and took them for the little babies. She was fine with that and went to sleep. I did find all the paci's and put them up high so if she had a melt down about it I could give one back. But she was fine with it and ready. I think your son is young but that in the next year you will be able to talk with him about growing out of it and that he will painlessly give it up in the end. Just go with what feels right for you. You know him the best. And I'll also add that I have 3 former paci children and all their teeth are beautifully ,normally developing and they all stopped using it by 4 years of age. Now the baby has hers and I am so glad because it really helps her be comforted. Best wishes to you

With my first son, we took away his pacifier around his second birthday, on a night that he was so tired, he didn't even miss it. But with my second son, he seems much more attatched. He uses it mainly for naps/at night, but every once in a while, I bring it out when we are out and about and he's tired and cranky. That said, the pedi we go to has always been about taking it away. My SIL, who works with children with speech developments issues has said numerous times that as long as he is not sucking on it day and night, he can have it for a couple more years (5 is that max). Take him to a pediatric dentist and ask him/her. Good luck.

M.,

It is not as big as you think. I had three kids "addicted" to their pacifiers. I took the paci's away at about 2 years for all and each one took it well. I let them put the pacifiers into the envelope and we mailed them to the babies that needed them. When they would ask for the paci I would say the baby has it. Good luck, don't worry.

my pediatrician recommended that I cut the tip off the pacifier with my son. He was also 2 years old when I wanted to wean him. It took about a week of him throwing it at me but he eventually stopped wanting it. Good luck.

I promise you that this method will not cause any tears or upset.
Take a large pair of scissors and cut the teat part of the pacifier off, getting as close to the solid plastic as you can. Don't leave any bits behind, for safety.
Now your son still has the pacifier to hold, keep in a pocket or rub against his face, but there is nothing to suck. I found with both my daughters that just still having them to carry around was enough to comfort them, and to be honest, they lost interest pretty quickly with them once they couldn't suck them. Then it became their choice to give them up, and didn't force them to 'get over it' by making them disappear. It's worth a try!

Hi! My daughter turned 2 on Feb. 9th, and we stopped cold turkey out of necessity- we were in SF (aquarium at Pier 39) & her pacifier fell out of my jacket pocket. She cried all the way home because she needed it to sleep, but my husband and aI decided since she already suffered this much, we just wouldn't give her anymore. It worked. We told her we left it for the "fishies" and that big girls don't need binkies, just babies use binkies, and I'd say it only took a day for her to sleep without it, and maybe three days of her asking for it (& she only cried once more when we told her they were gone)and it is a thing of the past. Also, HER TEETH GOT STRAIGHTER. They were starting to move out, and I feel like they look so much better now! AND she is proud to see babies that have binkies and she reminds me she is not a baby and that is why she doesn't have a binky. It's worth it -Good luck!

I only gave my two their "binkies" at nap and bedtime, then my sister gave me a tip, cut the end of it off (without them seeing) and when they try to use it, tell them "ooh! it's broken! and give them thier stuffie and hug them tight! mine never asked for them again after they were "broken" hugs and good luck

Both my kids were binky kids. We were told both times to wean them off it at 2... but the thing is try to wean... you could go a week where it is only available at nap and nighttime, not in the day... and during that time, get a special lovie... and remember, it can be a super soft, big boy blankie with Bob the Builder or Lightening or Handy Manny or whatever your son likes. maybe let him pick it out... my son didn't really become attached to a blankie or a stuffed animal until the binky went away, and while my daughter was fine with the binky fairy "recycling" her binkies for new babies, my son was definately NOT... but he had heard his Dr say no more binky, so we had to get him off it. We went to just nap and nighttime for awhile, offering blankie and "wolfie" during the day for comfort... and once we thought he was attached enough to the blankie and wolfie, we dropped the binky at both nap and nighttime... if you do only one, he might get confused. And warn him... on Friday, we're going to take away the binky... on Wed, say two more days with your binky... tomorrow is your last night with your binky... and then gather them all up and put them away!!! Cold turkey is really hard for a toddler if they don't want something. There may be tears the first nap and night time without it, but continue to offer the lovies and be firm! Now I look around and see a older toddler with one and think..... "gosh, that kid looks like a baby!" I know I shouldn't, but I was so glad I weaned mine off it early... and neither went to thumb or finger sucking because they always had a lovie to hold. Good luck! You can do it!!!

After trying to go cold turkey and failing. I used a method I learned on this site and it worked great for my son. We used scissors to cut of a bit of the end of the binky at a time until there was not really enough left for him to keep in his mouth. He eventually lost interest in it on his own. We cut a little off every few nights over the course of a couple of weeks. He still liked to have it in his crib with the little nub for about another week, then it fell under his crib and he stopped asking for it. At that point we told him he was all done with the binky. We, like you, relied on it for stress situations. For us it was flying. He left the binky in a studio apt in France. On the flight home he asked for it a few times, but didn't cry. Once he was off it at night and for naps, the rest came easier. good luck!
N.

I would ask your daycare to help you. Mine basically had a rule that big boys do not have paci's here. Plain and simple and that was always the rule. We were than able to slowly faze it out of his life with the "big boys don't need a paci" here or there or for different occasions. He was off the paci at about 25 mths and I'd say it took a month or so to slowly get him off it.
It was harder too because I had an infant who also had a paci, so we had to keep explaining that paci's were for babies.

We were also lucky in that he had a favorite blanket that i could bargain with letting him take that instead. Maybe you could buy him a cool toy that he could take instead of the paci?

good luck
K.

Hi M.-

I feel the cold turkey method should be a last resort. With my daughter, we began making rules like the pacifiers stayed in the crib and were used for naps or bedtime only. Then, we conveniently "lost" all but 1 pacifier.

We had already begun telling her about the Pacifier Fairy. We explained she was a big girl and soon the Pacifier Fairy would come at night and take all her pacifiers to the little babies. But, the Pacifier Fairy leaves you a super-special present! The next time we were at the store, we checked out the toys. I watched her reaction to different toys until I knew the perfect Pacifier Fairy gift then went back to secretly buy it. I kept it hidden and ready. Gradually, my daughter started to get into the idea. One night she decided she wanted the Fairy to come. She tried for 2 nights to fall asleep without it, no luck. We were careful not to pressure her, just gave her the pacifier and said "oh well, maybe tomorrow we can try again". The 3rd night, she made it and we wrapped her Pacifier Fairy gift in fancy paper and an elaborate bow. We left the gift where she would see it as soon as she woke up. She was so excited and proud of herself for her accomplishment. Had she not done it herself, we would have eventually taken the pacifiers and left the Fairy gift but at least she would know what was happening. Having her buy into the idea and do it herself made it a positive experience instead of a traumatic one.

As for the Doctors office, we do 2 things. First, we bring Crayola washable markers to draw on the examining table paper and paper gown. It makes the Dr. office some place special. Also, after the appt. we go for ice cream or a milkshake. As they get stressed during the appt, I'd ask "so, what kind of ice cream are you going to get?". It keeps their eyes on the prize, so to speak. My daughters are 11 & 8 and still ask for a milkshake after getting a shot.

I had the same problem...my son LOVED his paci. Anyway my friend suggested poking a needle into the paci so the suction is not so strong but that didn't work. I ended up cutting a little chunk out of it and told him it was broken cuz he used it up. He sucked on it for a minute then didn't like the feeling of it. I thought he would have a problem but he didn't. He would ask about it and I would remind him that it was "broken" and showed it to him and he just accepted it! Luckily he didn't have such a hard time letting it go.
Hope it helps!

Hey M.,

Well if it is used as a comfort for himself, i'd say when he is ready let him tell you when he wants to let it go. My daughter uses her all the time it seems like. and a few times i noticed when we lost it she would start to suck her thumb- which would be a lot worse. She would regresst o her thumb if she didn't have her binky. She uses her binky mostly when shes really tired and it helps her sleep. either way we take it awya mostly during the day and the baby sitter says she can go most of the day without it so i haven't really figured it was a big deal to ween her from it. really it's up to you weather you want to ween him but keep in mind he could regress to the comfort of his thumb.(don't let age really fool you my daughter is 2 and a half)when they are ready they will let you know. I can also keep in mind to that if it's a comfort during stressful situations let him have it. right now our family is dealing with my husband sick in the hospital with cancer and hasn't been able to come home- so yeah she's been in need of her binky to help sooth her while her daddy is away.

Well M.,
I have a 7 year old who was a paci baby. When she was 18 months, we packed all her pacies up in a ziploc baggie, took them to our church and gave them to a friend who had a younger baby. We made a big deal of it saying Bailey is just a little baby and she needs the pacies now. She actually handed them over herself. Of course my friend just threw them away, but my daughter didn't need to know that. She asked for them again a couple of times and I just said, remember, Bailey has them now because she's still a baby and you're a big girl. The transition actually was very easy. I would say to try to get rid of the paci before daycare. Some might disagree with me, but I think if there's going to be change, you might as well take care of it all at once. She'll be so into meeting new friends and having a wonderful time, she'll hardly notice her paci being gone. Good Luck! It's a tough transition for mommy, too. Our babies growing up and all. I'm a very clingy mom so every little milestone is huge to me! I think in the end it's more traumatic for us than for them! God bless.

You can start telling your son the pacifier is used only when you are in your bed,for sleep/nap. Have him say good bye to it when he gets up in the morning or from a nap. If he wants it during the day then he goes and sits on/in his bed, but no walking around with it. If he goes to a nursery school type program he takes it to put in his backpack or his cubbie but not to be used at school unless he is being held because of some type of "hurt".

Hi M.-
When our son was 18 months old (and only had 6 front teeth) we decided that it was time to let go of the binkies. He only used them in his crib at nap/bed time. I took the binkies away for a few reasons, but the future of his teeth was my number one concern. I cut the tip of the binkie and gave it to him one night at bed time. Of course, he was anything but thrilled. He cried for about 10 minutes, and then fell asleep. The next night, I cut a bit more off. It took about 3 days, but then it was done. And let me tell you, life without binkies is great! And he only used them to sleep. About 2 months later, I found one and threw it in the garbage. My son found it and could have cared less about it. With your son now being two, he won't be back to the doctor for a check-up until three years old. By then, the binkie will be well out of his mind. Best of luck to you.

I can't imagine what its liking weaning a child from a pacifier since both my boys hated it. My second son was a preemie and had it off and on for 2 months and was done with it. However, my first son i had a hard time getting him off the bottle at night at 15 months, so I finally justtook it away, end of story and that was it. No screaming. So i guess for me i just took things away that I wanted them to be done with. However, my friend did the same thing but would transition it with something else. My sons love the gum massager tool. I just don't make a big deal out of it. When I took the bottle away, I told my son, big boys use sippy cups. That was it. Pick your battles. Maybe use a reward system if he goes a day with out it. Or when my older son wants something, i tell him now. Oh we ran out of "those" we will have to go to the store". So he is done with that subject. Believe me they get it at 2. At least my son did.

Good luck
Sahm, 40 with 2 wonderful funny little boys. 3 yrs & 9 months walking.

Hello! My oldest daughter was just about this age when we weaned her. For her, we just cut the tips of the pacifier off, leaving most of the pacifier on. That way she could put it in her mouth for comfort, but it would not satisfy her because it would go flat. She brought them out and told us they were broken. We just acknowledged that, comforted her, and she helped throw them away. That was the easy child. My youngest was older, closer to 3, and cried every night for 6 weeks. I thought she would forget about it but she never did. I finally caved and she just now gave it up when she was 4 1/2. I was concerned about her teeth issues as well for good reason, but her need for comfort and security won out. My advice: Don't make it a big deal, and watch how they respond. They will eventually give it up on their own when they are ready!

My first reaction was to say, 'just take it away' because that worked fine for me with my two boys at age one. But I do realize that for some kids (as well as for some moms) that just isn't the right answer. But I do have a suggestion that might help you take the pacifier away without giving up his comfort.
Do you have one of the 'sippy' cups that has sort of a nipple attachment on it? If so, perhaps using that instead of the pacifier would work. The sucking effect is similar, and your son would be getting water to drink at the same time. I doubt if your doctor would have an objection to your son bringing something like that into his office either. I have found that having a place where the child uses the water cup is a good idea, because it's so easy to turn it upside down and make a mess with the water (and don't all toddlers love to make messes with water?) My own preference for this type of cup is also that nothing but water is served from them... for two reasons... one it's harder to keep the cup as sanitary as needed if you put juice or milk in it and two it just makes sense to me to be letting a child learn to drink from a regular cup or glass at this age.

I did the same thing another mommy on her did. We starting telling our 2 1/2 year old daughter that soon the pacifier fairy would be coming to take her pacifier because she was a big girl now and the fairy would be living her a big girl present. We told her everyday for about 1 1/2 weeks so she got it into her head. I was so afraid of her reaction the next day because she loved her pacifier so much but she really only had one little melt down and that was it. She did ask for it for a while but we just had to keep reminder her that the fairy came and took it away because she was a big girl now. Good luck.

HI M.,

We have a friend who recently went through this... she helped him decorate a brown paper bag, collected all of the pacis and put them in the mailbox to send to the babies that need them. I have also heard of the binky fairy coming to take them for the babies. The binky fairy leaves a small gif the next day.

Good luck!!