Advice for Transitioning 3 1/2 Yr & 20 Month Old Boys into Daycare for 1St Time

The first few days will be the hardest, and usually harder for the mom than the kids. If it is possible, could you go to the house before you start working and just let your boys play while you sit and visit with the caregiver? If not, let them each pick something special to bring along with them...a sleeping buddy, a favorite book etc. Another helpful tool, I know a lot of daycares use is to have a little photo album with pictures of mommy, daddy, brother, sister, grandma, grandpa, etc that the child can look through. I guess it kind of takes their mind off the fact that you are not right there with them. You can use a real photo album, or even better just laminate some pictures and put together a home made photo album.

H., I hope this helps...

When I needed to transition my daughter from stay-home care with me to preschool she was 2 1/2, painfully shy, and not very adept at handling transitions in general. I was worried.

Fortunately, her teacher had an EXCELLENT solution. We spent just under two weeks easing things as follows:

Day one: I brought her into school, stayed in the classroom with her for 30 minutes, then we both left. (note: she didn't want to leave at this point, but we enforced it, and continued to do so thru the transition).

Day two and three: brought her in, stayed in the hallway, (where she couldn't see me) for 30 mintues, then we both left.

Days four and five: brought her in and stayed in the hallway, again, out of sight. We made her leave after one hour, even though she was doing great.

Day six: she was begging to "stay longer" but her teacher and I told her that she could stay longer "very soon."

Basically in less than two weeks she was dying to stay, and eager for me to leave -- with NO tears, tantrums or guilt (God, I still love that teacher!). I'm sure it depends on the kid, but if you have the flexibility, you may want to try something like this...

Not only did this kid BEG to stay at school, but she rapidly went from being the shyest kid in class to the most out-going one (okay, maybe a little too out-going...but still) Best luck! I know this can be a traumatic transistion.

As a family child care provider the best thing you can do is be very positive and visit at least twice so they can get to know the provider and the children. When you do leave assure them that everything is okay and smile if you look upset they feel upset. It is good if you can do half days the week before just so the can adjust start out a few hours then right before nap then through nap making the day progress to being longer.

The suggestions Angela gave are good. The only thing I would add (after the boys go over for a couple of play dates) is to actually leave the boys there maybe for a couple of days only for a few short hours the week before you start working. If this can be arranged, it may slowly ease them into the new routine and make it easier for them (and you) to adjust to being away from you once you start the 4 full days a week.

Also, check the local library for children's books on this subject. You can read it to your older son (who will understand it), so he'll get an idea of what to expect. Be sure to explain the new routine several times to your 3 1/2 year old and give him a chance to ask questions or voice concerns/fears. If you can get the older son to feel comfortable, I'm sure his baby brother will follow suit. Good luck! It make take some time, but I'm sure it will all work out well!

I just wanted to let you all know about a super awesome nanny I know who is looking for a job. She needs full time but doesn't mind splitting up days with more than 1 family. Her name is Najat Benanssa. She was so great with my 2 kids. She's very motherly, they loved her. She took them outside to play every day, twice a day. She played with them, she sings songs, she is a fun, responsible and nurturing lady. Her references are impeccable too. If you need someone I hope you will give her a call, She is a rare find and anyone who gets her will be very lucky!

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Thanks, R. Gagnon