Advice - La Habra,CA

Yes, it is separation anxiety. At this time, he is conceptualizing that you are separate. It is a normal developmental stage. It will pass. My son is almost three now, but I remember at that age I started showering at night just so I could be alone for 10 min.

Without much detail of your situation, its hard to say exactly why your son is having such separation anxiety. He's still very young, and if you're his primary caregiver - you are who he wants. And the fact that you are his food supply (and all the mother/child bonding that goes with breastfeeding) its just natural that he's gonna be clingy.
My oldest daughter - and she was an only child for almost 5 years - had little use for my husband for the first 2 or 3 years of her life. It broke his heart, but that's just how it works out, and many husbands can't get over this fact.
I think, with time, you'll see your son gradually be happy with his dad - they always do. Keep in mind that he's still a very little guy - and for at least the first year, you are the sun and moon and stars to him. His daddy will need to be patient.

Most babies start to experience separation anxiety at this age. It's very normal and the "cure" is to give him what he wants. The more love and attention you give him through this phase the quicker he will get over it. You are his primary care-giver and his food/comfort source. He's very uncomfortable when he has to be separated from you right now and not without reason. If I was only 8mo and didn't understand anything going on around me I would cling to the familiar voice/bosom that means all of the things I need too.

It's nothing against your husband and he shouldn't take it personally. Don't be afraid to go to the bathroom without him though. A little bit of brief separation, with mommy always coming right back, can also teach him something he needs to know and that is that you will always be back for him no matter what. Just avoid any extended separations (like over 15-20 minutes) until he moves out of this phase.

And this IS going to pop up at other times in his development. They seem to go through cycles, especially if there's anything BIG going on developmentally at the same time, like learning to walk or starting solid foods etc...

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Edit: I just read the post below mine and I literally CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I'M READING!!!! Julie L., are you REALLY advocating for women to give up breastfeeding? Seriously? Wow, you've really got the wrong idea about babies and what they need. Breastfeeding is the BEST thing a mother can do for her baby and it does NOT exclude daddy. There are a million other ways that dads can bond with their kids. Many husband will have mom lean back against them while breastfeeding so their face is in the picture too, and many will take over all diaper changes while they're home etc.. There are tons of ways for dad to get himself involved.

I truly can't believe you said something as STUPID as "it's not fair to the dads for the moms to exclussinvely breast feed". You do realize that moms have been "exclusively breastfeeding" for the entire history of the human race and it's only in the last 100 years that there has been another option, right? You do realize that thousands of generations of dads have been able to bond with their babies without feeding them, right?

"Because so many mothers today breastfeed" - SERIOUSLY? Breastfeeding is how God and or Nature (depending on which you believe) INTENDED for human infants to be fed, and it's how they've been fed for MILLENIA. Your opinions fly in the face of all that is common-sense and backed by tons of serious research and collective experience.

Sorry if I offended anyone, but I don't want anyone to take her post seriously. It's really a shame that anyone could feel this way if you ask me. I exclusively breastfeed and my husband is very bonded to our son. It in NO WAY excludes dads.

I exclusively breastfed our son till 9 months (continued till 18 months.) We did not have this problem BUT we farm so my husband saw our baby a LOT.

You just need to spend some time together the 3 of you doing fun things. Sitting on the floor playing, going to walks, pushing him in the swing, etc. If your son enjoys bath time, daddy and him should take a bath TOGETHER! Kids go through "periods" where they prefer one parent over the other. Both of our kids did too.

JULIE-THIS IS NOT BECAUSE HE IS BREASTFED! (I am shocked that someone would say such a bold -and stupid- thing!) LOTS OF KIDS GO THROUGH SEPARATION ANXIETY!

Don't worry. It won't last forever.

It's really normal at your son's age to be a cling-on :-) I've seen it with my own son and with several friends' children. As newborns, they are fine with being held, regardless of who's holding them, until they figure out who's usually feeding them. Then the mother can't get a break, even to go to the bathroom, let alone take a shower or spend some alone time. Fathers, grandparents, nannies, everyone else besides the primary nurturer (usually the mother) is rejected, until the child grows out of that stage. This happens when the child figures out that Mother always re-appears after disappearing. Playing "peek-a-boo" and other games like that with your son will help. Just keep telling yourself, "this too shall pass".

Mommy is mommy and no one can replace her. He's used to you, your smell, your voice, your breast milk. When he's alone with daddy, he may be out of his comfort zone - seems a little unusual for 8 months. Does daddy spend a lot of time with him when your in the room? Does daddy bath him, read him a story, but him to bed? Make sure he spends lots of time with both you and daddy together, that should help ease the transittion when your not arround.

It is his age and doesn't have anything to do with breast feeding. He is experiencing separation anxiety. He needs to spend more time with his dad! This too shall pass.

It is most likely his age. I went through the same things with my, now, 1 year old. Around (7 months till about 10 months) she would fuss if I stood up and went to another part of the room. I know this doesn'y help now, but it should get better soon. I am not one to let mine cry alot, but I got to the point that I just had to. I would have never gotten laundry or dishes done. Good luck. Hand in there

How much time does dad spend with him? Is dad nurturing? Is your son fed enough or to much? I would talk to your la leche group since they are close to you or your pediatrician since they can see your baby and the interaction with husband. The other part is that I pump and my husband will feed our kids with a bottle atleast once a day. I think it's important to bond with grandmas and grandpas and dads or brothers and sisters. So in our house mommy can nurse and the baby can also have a bottle. my husband and I also share the baby duties. Obviously mom does the most but dad brings the money in:) I hope this helps??? One thing you could do is maybe put a tshirt that smells like you (one you have worn) as a blanket near your baby while hes with your husband. It may help him to smell you and relax.

It's because you are the one who feeds him. You meet that very important need. He feels secure with you. It'll be okay. He and Daddy will fine in time. Don't panic when this happens. Just smile at your son and let him know it is okay. If you fret and run to the rescue, he will think that it's the right thing to be worried with daddy.

Besides separation anxiety, I've seen that a lot of kids will go through phases where they have a "favorite" parent. Don't worry, it changes all the time. My son was breastfed until about 16 months old, and I think I was his favorite more often because of that. Now he is 2-1/2 and very much a daddy's boy. My poor husband can't even go to the bathroom without being followed!

This is not unusial he will get over it dont make to much of a fus let him get usted to daddy a little crying wont harm him day deserves time with son he cant have every thing his way every one needs to get into the act he will grow up and wont want you near him relax and enjoy life and be delighted that daddy want to help what will happenwhen you have more kids raised 4 and no have 7 grandchildren A. no hills

My son does this also and he is 2 1/2. I think it's becuase Daddy isn't mommy. I think his dad does things differently than I do. Sometimes I feel like my husband is just trying to push my son's buttons. It gets annoying but your not alone on this. My son has always cried more with his dad.

Hi P., This is what i believe. because so many mothers today breastfeed, the daddys don't get the same opportunities to bond with them the way the mothers do, feed, and caring for baby's is not just the moms job, but the dads as well. At 8 1/2 months old this child is way old enough for a cup. My husband was able to bond with our baby's through feedings because we bottles fed, it's not fair to the dads for the moms to exclussinvely breast feed, it takes the dad right out of the picture. I read the other responses, and we did not have those issues, When they weren't feeling well they wanted mommy, but to leave the room while daddy had them and cry, nope they were happy with daddy. J.