I had no idea that Texas taught mainly abstinence in schools to prevent pregnancy. A friend of mine was again complaining about the ignorant/evil conservative/religious groups for not helping to prevent teen pregnancy in Texas by supporting the abstinence learning program.
I could have sworn that when I went to school here in Texas that we learned about the birds and the bees fairly early on (fifth grade - girls in one room, boys in another) and I am pretty sure I knew as soon as I could contemplate having sex that I would need to use prevention or risk pregnancy or disease. However I learned far more from my parents about those decisions and possible outcomes. Am I the only parent that feels that I too should be teaching my own girls about pregnancy and STDs and not just the schools? And that I should be teaching them the emotional and physical aspect of being intimate with another person? Sure the schools can teach the science aspect but I plan on having many in-depth conversations and if my daughter becomes a teen mom then that's on her and me - not on the Texas education system.
I just don't get all this blame game on a political party/religious affiliations these days.
Add: the abstinence program teaches about not having sex to prevent sex. Religion has nothing to do with it. I should add that I don't object to the schools teaching about birth control or heck, even providing free condoms, what irks me is the blame game.
Also, I find it very hard to believe in this modern age of internet, tv, smart phones that kids can't find the information from a different source if their parents don't talk to them about contraceptives. And come on now, obviously kids these days are far more advance with the internet than we ever were. Just google "preventing pregnancy" - lots of great, up-to-date information on the first page. Everything starts with the family not the school and while it's sad that some parents are not completely open and honest does not mean the schools have to be the only solution. I think that teachers have enough on their plate to teach our students without having to teach kids how to use a condom. And quite frankly that's just a sexual harassment charge just waiting for some crazy parent to latch onto. Can you even imagine? Just my opinion of course =)
It is a blame game as with many controversial topics not everything is perfectly black and white. Blaming the conservatives and school teachings isn't the full answer as many of you have said "it's society, us." I could say that I was taught abstinence and chose not to have sex until I was ready for the consequences - it worked for me. Do I give liberals/conservatives credit, school, religion, myself, my family - well, how about all the above and myself?
@Julie S - THANK YOU =)
@momma11 - I wouldn't want you to teach my daughter how to use a diaphragm or condom, or for that matter manners, respect, etc - just saying =)
I don't think it's a "blame game" -- there IS a correlation between religious and political affiliation and abstinence programs, that's just a fact.
Me, personally, I never worried about my kids hearing information of any type at school -- I tried to raise them to be critical thinkers.
I really don't see why sex education can't be comprehensive. Abstinence can be one small part of the whole. Young people should be taught at home and at school (but that often doesn't happen with not just sex ed but many other subjects as well). It is a health issue...just like young people learning about their nervous system or circulatory system.
I teach in Texas and I have no idea what you are talking about. The districts I have taught in show 'the video' in 5th grade.
Considering many parents do not teach their children about the technicalities of sex, I do think it is the schools responsibility to teach that - it's more of a health issue than a sex issue. They learn about all of the other body functions: respiratory, circulatory, digestive etc - why shouldn't they also learn the sexual functions along with those?
Heck, there are parents that expect us to teach everything else including manners & etiquette (which should be taught by parents) - why not sex!!!!!!!!
SWH - WOW! That callout was uncalled for! And who mentioned diaphragms or condoms? I was speaking of body functions.
It has been proven that these abstinence only education programs are damaging to our children and actually increase the level of teen pregnancy. Our children need comprehensive and complete sex education. It would be great if we could rely on the parents to do it, but let's face facts, many parents aren't even fully educated themselves on sex, and many others idea of a sex talk is to simply say "don't do it" or "its a sin". Teens deserve real facts without any religious or "moral" coloring, just the purely scientific facts. They can learn religion at home. There are actually programs right now that teach girls that if they have sex they end up like a piece of chewed up gum that no body will want, that is so damaging and just plain ignorant. We should never teach any human that their worth is tied to some imaginary idea of purity based on virginity. This is even more damaging to children who are raped, like myself.
This is a community health issue. In a perfect world every parent would teach every child everything they need to know but that simply doesn't happen. Our schools teach biology and health, how the human body works and functions and how to take care of it and keep it safe and healthy. Sex and reproduction are part of that, so why SHOULDN'T it be taught to a group of students on the verge of adulthood? Obviously some parents will have religious objections, but that doesn't seem to be your objection.
Also, thinking the internet is going to give our kids 100 percent accurate information about sex is just naïve. Would you really want your child's first sexual experience to be with a partner who learned about it on an about.com message board?!
We are a society, a community, a culture, we owe it to each other to make sure ALL children have access to education and information, not just the ones under our own roof.
Well, abstinence programs are a complete waste of time and money, so let's start with that. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22022362
Why are taxpayers expected to fund a program that's been proven not to work? By contrast, states that still do teach a Sex Ed course including birth control options have a declining rate of teen pregnancy and STDs; this trend has continued over the course of decades now. Therefore, it is in the best interest of taxpayers everywhere to have a robust Sex Ed program that does not make young people ashamed to seek out birth control. Teen mothers are more likely not to finish their education, and are more likely to need government support for food, childcare costs, etc. Why in the world would anyone not support educating our teens on birth control?
I would say that if parents are interested in teaching abstinence to their kids, they are more than welcome to do that. That is an admirable goal, if not completely realistic for the vast majority of teens.
Some parents will teach their kids about sex ed while others won't.
Heck some parents are so embarrassed to talk even about menstruation they find books to hand to their kids and hope they read them - it's not like they quiz them on the reading later on.
Seeing as Texas has the 3rd highest teen pregnancy rate of the 50 states, I'm thinking their abstinence program isn't working as well as they hoped it would.
If something is not working something needs to change to fix it but they have to admit they have a problem first in order to address possible fixes.
It's easier to live in denial.
When I was in high school my parents pulled me from ALL health classes in school. They did not want the school to teach me about sex ed, AIDS, or any other thing they deemed innappropriate.
They did me such a disservice.
Not only did they pull me, they didn't teach ME at home. They just kept on telling me not to have sex, abstinence was key, I didn't want to be easy.
No talking about protection, condoms, feelings, anything. It was ridiculous.
As a mother of 3 myself, we of COURSE want them to be absinent. But that's what *I* want. Probably not what they want :)
So it's our jobs as our kids parents to talk with them about sex. How to protect themselves physically and emotionally when they are ready to have sex. Encourage abstinece, but also be realistic!
I do not believe it is the job of the school to teach my child about sex. That's MY job.....but as someone who had parents like mine.....I wish that I had taken those classes in school. That I wasn't a total ignoramous.
I can only speak from my experience and say that MY parents were right winged Bible thumpers who challenged many things the schools did (book choices, sex ed, AIDS speakers). They were very closed minded, a bit foolish, and NOW they see the errors of their ways (my last two brothers took ALL the classes at school. lol)
It was very hard on me to have my parents butting in and expecting everyone at the school to bend to their belief system. The student body knew it was my parents that had books removed from the library, movies banned from classrooms, and speakers PICKETED (holy hell, what was WRONG with my parents??)!!
So, I tend to agree with your friend that it probably IS the conservetives that are butting in......which just means that as PARENTS we get to make sure that they are really educated at home as well!! (so I agree with you as well! ha)
L.
Well, I'm regularly having conversations with my tween BOY about pregnancy and diseases, protection, responsibility, etc.
He attends a public school.
I wish I had a dollar for every fellow district parent that I know that hasn't "gotten around to" these conversations yet.
The school teaches the science of it, (6th grade) facts and options.
IMO, it's up to parents to add morality as they see fit.
In a public school?
I don't want my son taught religious views on a biology topic.
So there are no teen moms in Texas then?
Knowledge is power. I want my girls to be exposed to health education in school and at home. In school it's about health, how to stay safe, how to take care of yourself and what to do if you end up in a dangerous situation. Why would anyone deny their children this information?
It has EVERYTHING to do with religion. Most of the parents who object to sex ed in schools do so for religious beliefs. I don't have time to research right now but over the years I've read a bit about Texas public schools and the Christian Conservatives who want to determine science, English and health curriculum. Not only are they against sex ed but they would like creationism taught along with evolution and they deny global warming, ha ha tell that to Greenland.
You're being very naive if you think kids will figure this stuff out on their own. We are a society, all linked together, intertwined and dependent on each other. The problems that arise when children are not taught these important lessons become our mess to clean up. I want to live in a society where all kids have a fighting chance and that starts with knowing how to keep yourself healthy and safe.
Wow, I am usually the worst reader here and I got that you meant why are people blaming the school for teen pregnancies.
I would imagine for the same reason a parent does not ask how their kids are doing, never check on homework, no supervision and then blame the school because junior is failing.
I don't think much will change in schools until parents accept the responsibility of their own children. Pretty bad when parents are more interested in telling you everything their child's classmates are doing and haven't a clue what their own kids are doing.
it wouldn't bother me so much except that 'abstinence only' has been resoundingly, emphatically proven not to work.
texas is in so many ways a third world country. so many lovely people live there. how do you guys do it?
this is stupid. plain and simple.
khairete
S.
Well, I don't know how old you are, but it is possible that the sex education program you were taught is not the same one your kids are taught. You mention that you recalled being taught "the birds and the bees" in the fifth grade. That may or may not be the case now, but most abstinence-only programs do provide the basics on anatomy and conception, so kids are likely getting the information you remember learning.
Of course parents should be teaching their kids about sex, the biological aspect as well as the potential psychological, medical, emotional, spiritual, and financial consequences of engaging in sexual activity so that each kid can make decisions about sexuality with complete information. Note that I say "should." In an ideal world that is how things would work. We don't live in that world. Many parents choose not to educate their kids about these things. The kids still need the information though, so the schools are the natural choice to provide it. The idea that teachers are just too busy to teach students sex ed does not fly with me. This is critical information, the students have a right to know the facts and the teachers are there to teach them. The fact remains that there is a societal impact when teens are having babies, so it makes perfect sense for the educational system to ensure that what is needed is taught.
The problem with abstinence-only, besides that it doesn't work, is not that it "teaches about not having sex to prevent sex," the problem is that the programs tends to be filled with misinformation--out and out falsehoods--as well as value judgments about the characters of people who do not choose to be abstinent. Instructors use fear, lies, and good old-fashioned slut-shaming to try to keep kids from having sex.
Religion has a lot to do with it. So does politics. When the (religious) right stops trying to deny children access to the facts about sex and stops providing bullsh*t masquerading as education, people will stop blaming them for doing so.
And are you really suggesting that the onus is on kids to find out for themselves the facts about sex if their parents don't provide the information? Really? Think about that for a minute. I for one, don't want any kid having to rely on tv or movies for this information. What a failure on our part.
We have an obligation to educate our children--and I'm not just talking about our own kids, I mean we, as a society have an obligation to educate all children.
I think sex ed is a vital component to education. Why would we exclude reproductive issues from our children's education?
1.School is a neutral zone where kids can feel safe asking questions they may not want to ask their parents.
2.The public school system is our culture's attempt to reach out into communities and provide basic, useful education in order to create a healthy society that functions properly.
3.Sex is part of life. Someone who teaches it doesn't attach morality or mysogeny to it. By only teaching abstinence, we only teach kids to hide it and not ask real questions.
4.These "sex ed" programs have been in existence since at least the 70s, if you are so worried about how much teachers have "on their plates", maybe you should be focusing more on how to end poverty. Because at the end of the day, that is the scourge that fails every person it touches. Sex doesn't harm people unless those people are taught it's "wrong".
Ha, I just asked my 18 year son the other night if knew how to put a condom on correctly. Why? because teaching him about sexuality and responsibility is my "job" as a parent. I began talking with him when he entered the tween years and his body began to change. He is the one who decided to be abstinent. I, and he, believe that will change within the next year - but the fact that he made it to 18 without having sex is so very different from most of his peers.
Anyhoo, about this being the school's responsibility - I honestly think not.
Parents are abdicating their roles and responsibilities to schools and government. It is not schools' responsibility to raise children. Schools need to teach - they are forced to spend so much time raising children and teaching basic social skills that teaching is falling by the wayside. Cover these topics in biology and health classes but encourage the children to talk to their parents.
Schools are not responsible for the teen pregnancy rate. Teens and their parents are.
Well, I am not in Texas but I can tell you here in Florida, sex ed begins in kindergarten. By that I mean, learning about private parts, working our way up through inappropriate touching, to puberty and birds and bees...(birds and bees are in middle school I think...).
Schools teach biology - not morals. It is up to the guardians to teach the context, emotions, etc. I am personally tired of those who think schools should teach our children everything. When you have a child, you have a responsibility to teach them what they need to learn to function in society.
I don't get it either but most of the time I think I would have fit in better in the 80s than in todays society.
Of course, it might have been the 1880s....pull yourself up by your bootstrap! C.
Teenagers need to know the facts, they are going to do what they want in the end. As much as we can teach them as parents what we believe, it is important that they get the facts about STD's, birth control, etc so that they can be smart in making their own decision. Some parents do not discuss such things with their children which can lead to teens getting into trouble and situations.
I don't care what the school's teach, I'll be teaching my kids myself. Maybe having their mom talk to them about sex and condoms and whatnot will horrify them enough to keep them from wanting to have sex. :)
Honestly, I'd rather all the school teaches them about is the science and leaves the rest to me.
With this nation's academic status in the world I don't think schools should spend time on it nor should there be any value judgments of any stripe.
If schools want to provide the info in an after-school supplement - fine.
Value judgments cut both ways. This is why this stuff shouldn't be taught during academic hours at school.
JMO.
My children go to private catholic school and I was actually shocked that parents opted not to have their kids go through the class. (daughter was in 5th grade last year and that is when they do serious talk, they start with simple stuff in kinder)
Anyway, we are very open and honest with both of our children about sex and their bodies. The school they go to teaches abstinence and that fine. I was actually surprised at how open the coursework was. We just add onto what they are learning.
Anyway my point i am trying to get to is that although we are very open at home there are lots of kids that only get taught at school. I really believe its a parents job to enhance what children are taught in school about everything. There are parents that do not even read with their children let alone talk about sex.
As far as blame game, well that is whole different ballgame.
Many blessings to you
My kids both graduated from public high school in Texas. Both received comprehensive sex ed class. So I'm not sure what you are talking about.
Yes, I think kids should wait to have sex. Is that realistic? No way. I started this talk way before high school. Do others? No. My daughter was on birth control by age 16. Too early? Maybe but she had a steady boyfriend and I understand hormones. I also told her that in addition to birth control she should also use condoms. I explained that birth control is great, but you never know where your partner has been and condoms can prevent STDs and unplanned births.
Same with my son. I told him that while the girl may say she is on birth control, it is important to be a responsible partner. Also, you may not know where all she has been as well.
My mother was an artist and she drew the reproductive system (male and female) out for me and explained everything! I wish I had kept that! She was very forward thinking for her time. I appreciated that. I was raised the respect sex, that it was between two people who loved each other, not a competitive sport.
As for conservatives getting out of education, yeah, liberals first. Cuts both ways.
signed,
Proud to be a Texan!
