Back to Basics Obviously, on Sex Education

J.:

Many teen girls don't think it will happen to them. That's the problem...

And that parents aren't involved - they are too busy doing their own thing or trying to be the kids friend instead of the parent.

Good lord. I am teaching my daughter the blatent facts of life as soon as she is old enough. Then I just might put her in a convent even though we are Jewish.

I prefer to teach "it takes only ONE drop of semen".....

I also believe that many parents rely on the school's teachings, & use it as a way to avoid having the "talk" at home.

It's amazing what happens/doesn't happen in families these days....

Must be surveying in Texas, where we have "abstinence only" sex ed in schools and a rising teen pregnancy rate.

As a former high school teacher, I completely believe this! I was horrified at the lack of knowledge and information teenagers had about sex and their bodies when I taught in the mid to late 90s. One year I team-taught a health class, and that was truly shocking! We desperately need comprehensive, age-appropriate sex education in our schools. If people don't like it and want to have their heads in the sand, they can homeschool or send their kids to some private school that's also not doing its job of adequately educating kids. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to get the fact that kids who are properly educated about sex, STDs, birth control and pregnancy are FAR likelier to wait longer to have sex for the first time and far less likely to participate in risky sexual behavior. When they DO have sex, they're less likely to have a pregnancy or STD come out of it.

For all the religious zealots who seem to rail the loudest about abstinence ed and no sex ed in schools -if you think God created everything and is responsible for everything -then didn't God create sex? If so, then WHY shouldn't our children be taught about it in a mature and responsible way? Just because you may tell your child about sex doesn't mean many kids are never told much of anything -and they're usually the kids who you would LEAST want to see wind up pregnant in high school (or middle school).

I saw this, too. Blew my mind. I just don't understand how people can be so ignorant of how their bodies work!

It also blew my mind when the statistic came out about how many women didn't know that it gets more difficult (by a LOT) to have children as you age. Same thing, to me.

BTW - most people don't report posts with links in the question - they are just automatically pulled by MP. If you want to include a link and not have your question pulled, post it in the SWH section.

My son is 15, and while he knows the facts and we have been having open, ongoing conversations about sexuality and sexual responsibility - I know that many of his friends have not received any information from their parents.

Also, after working in youth development and community programs for the past 15 years - I know that this is true.

This first time sex thought goes along with: it is okay if he pulls out; you can't get pregnant if the girl is on top; douching with coca-cola (yes, I have been told this by a teen girl) and many more that leave our teens at risk for pregnancies and STDs.

I have also found that it is not a socioeconomic phenomena...lack of sexual knowledge is found across all income brackets and ethnicities.

Sex Ed begins at home, and in the late tweens, and should continue throughout their teen years.

Scary huh?

I think that this shows us that 73% of parents are not teaching their kids about sex. There is so much to teach them that it takes more than one conversation, but I guess they don't realize that or are figuring that someone else will teach their kids.

Sheesh. My exbf got a girl pregnant the first time they slept together (her first time). People think all kinds of stupid things. That's why it's really important for parents to talk to their kids before KIDS talk to their kids.
I didn't see any poll lately, but I used to be a youth pastor and had to have some interesting conversations, so I've heard some of the foolishness that kids who think they know something feed to other kids.
In 4th-5th grade when I was a child, we learned lessons where girls were in one room, boys in another, and it was mostly stuff about our bodies, what's happening, what to expect (puberty), allowing for anonymous questions that you could slip in the box during the day and she'd read and go over it. In 6th grade it was coed and more like a sterile biology class, learning about reproduction, some questions. In 7th grade it was all about debunking common myths. Then I moved to a state that didn't allow any sex ed at all. Not so funnily, we had 2 pregnant girls in the 8th grade. In a state that didn't allow any sex ed at all, it was the highest teen pregnancy in those years of all the states. So....I'm all for education. I don't think it needs to be abstinence or permissive though---THAT is for PARENTS to discuss. But perhaps discussing common misconceptions, myths, and ways to open dialogue and discuss things with your parents or partner would be a better and more healthy approach?

Hi J., Weren't you the one that brought up the "surprise pregnancy" question a couple days ago? Seeing those responses from women then really shouldn't surprise us that teens think they can't get pregnant too. I mean, if grown women have unprotected sex and then are "surprised" by a pregnancy, we can't really be surprised that teen girls think the same thing.

I guess it IS back to the drawing board. That's why we need to communicate with our kids about sex, and not freak out if schools have sex ed classes.

I haven't heard this. You can put the link in SWH. I teach high school, and have tons of pregnant students, and students who are already parents. Most of them seem to know how it happens before they actually get pregnant. Many of them have multiple children. I would be interested to know more about the survey.

If that's true, that's frightening. Parents need to have a continuous dialog with their kids about sex. You can't just have "the talk" when they're 9-10 and be done with it. They need on-going reminders as they enter the teen years, and throughout the teen years about the risks and consequences involved with having sex.

Hi J.-

I am personally finding this statistic hard to imagine..

Post your link in 'so what happened' ...if you would not mind.

I have 3 daughters...

I have had an ongoing conversation with EACH of them regarding sexuality (and...to be clear...often a TMI with my eldest daughter...soon to be 21) since they were toddlers for SURE....( YITE!!...imagine that!! penises...vulvas...good touch...bad touch....)

My girls (AND BOYS know)

I hope they 'understand'

Best luck!
michele/cat

I don't see how that's possible with all the information they have about sex, etc., etc. Maybe they just don't care as someone will take care of it for them.

Only 18 states (and Washington DC) require that sex ed include information about contraception. One third of teens have received no formal instruction about contraception. Of sexually experienced (I believe this just means non virgin) teens - 46% of of boys and 33% of girls received no formal information about contraception. Approximately 9 MILLION new STIs occur in teens and young adults in this country every YEAR. Yeah - we probably should do a bit better.

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-Teen-Sex-Ed.html

I have two girls, and we have ongoing talks with them (age appropriate).

What about boys though? Teen girls aren't getting pregnant by themselves.

Sex Ed should be taught in an age appropriate way in Science & Biology classes starting in primary school. Why does that bother the religious conservatives so much?
Honestly, the way it is now, even for the tiny bit of sex ed my 13 year old has received at school I had to sign a permission slip. If people don't want their kids to learn about their own bodies and how to protect themselves from disease and pregnancy let them opt out. The children from all other families should get sex ed every year through Science and Health classes. It shouldn't be a separate part of basic education, it needs to be treated like the essential information that it is. Considering the statistic you just quoted it amazes me that people are against schools giving information to their kids that can keep them safe and save thier lives.

Really? They think they can't get pregnant? I seriously doubt that.
Specially now in days.
I think they know.
I think that is not why they are getting pregnant.
I think more and more teens are having a idea of what is "cool" and what is "love" so wrong.
Honestly, on my own experience, sex is not even that good when you are that young, in fact for the longest time I thought the whole climax was a lie that women said to make "men" feel happy.
I know, stupid, thank goodness!
One of my neighbor's kid, the girl is just 11, she has a boyfriend, the boyfriend brake up with her, she is posting all over she wants him back, why he doesn't love her, she wanted to make it special...
SAD!
I can't even always blame the parents, not the media, I think growing a healthy, with a good esteem, rational teen is a hard work that depends in many factors, and it all starts since they are little.
But even in the best scenery where parents do all the talking and teaching, some teens still go for the "he is the love of my life and we will get married ..." or "is my body and I don't hurt anybody" or "everybody is doing it" etc.
BUT
I think chances are lower when we parents have an open communication with our kids, since early, as much as they don't always want to hear, they do,
BTW, long time ago somebody advice me to have a talk to my daughter (who didn't want to have the embarras conversation) on the car on our way shopping, it worked great, thanks to who ever it was =*)

I hope I understood the question right and I am not just way far for what you mean, lol.

Statistics are an interesting thing. So here's some fun with numbers..... You are typically only fertile about five days out of a 28-day cycle, so that is just less than 18%. Then approximately 50 - 60% of first pregnancies end in a very early miscarriage (known as a "chemical pregnancy".) So, that's that's really only 9% of "first-timers" getting pregnant, 91% with no baby from their first time! Those may be great odds for Vegas, but not a gamble I was going to take as a teen.

I know/have known many promiscuous teens who are blatantly irresponsible about contraception. I find they fall into one of three categories:

1. They are certain their family will support them with little to no repercussions should they become pregnant. (For a relative, it was her ticket out of high school. She couldn't be happier and is still allowed to go over to friends' houses for sleepovers, leaving her baby with a grandparent or friend of the family at her leisure.)

2. They have no moral issues against some sort of post-conception birth control.

3. Or they are just *that* stupid.

I think we, as a society, need to address all three issues, but we're never going to completely eradicate teen pregnancy without infringing on a lot of fundamental American Rights, including that to just be as dumb as a box of rocks.

I have heard this over the years however never believed it. It's scary that many do believe this - just like it still seems to be a mystery to many how they got pregnant while taking the pill (Oh, the antibiotic makes it ineffective = I didn't know that)!!!!!!!! UGH.
Not even sure how to comment - frustrating.

This is VERY possible. ALWAYS, ALWAYS use protection!!!

I have heard that. That's why it's so important for parents to talk to their teens so that they get the RIGHT information.

Of course, according to teens we parents are pretty stupid so even if we do tell them, who's to say whether they will choose to believe us or to believe their girlfriend who heard it from the older sister of her other friend's cousin!

I have not seen this, but it doesn't surprise me. We have ruined MOST of the education in this country, why wold sex ed be any different. Too many on the right want to stress abstinence over knowledge, feeling falsely, that if they give their kids knowledge about how to avoid disease and pregnancy, that they are giving their kids permission to pursue it.
It's such a touchy area, though. Too many people want to limit information.

Um - I've actually run into a lot of parents who don't understand that a women is only fertile about 48 hours out of the month, so there are only about 4 days in a cycle that you could conceive. I've had women tell me they thought they could get pregnant any time they had sex. Women of all ages need to understand how their bodies work, so they can tell the younger gen. People make fun of "natural family planning", but at least you will understand how conception actually works. I think that would be a good sex ed course. (and I am one of those conservatives, BTW.)

I hate that teen girls seem to think giving oral sex is not really sex, so they are technically still Virgins. There is a rise of HPV in the throat, which will lead to a rise in throat cancer for these girls.