Even married people who have been together forever, can run into this.
We cannot control the ones we love. We have to accept them for who they are. We CAN, explain our feelings and wants..but it is up to the other person...what they will decide.
Here is the deal. Does he love you over all? Does he respect you over all?
Thanksgiving is once a year. You live in the same city. It is a blessing and a curse. I know, all of our family lives here.. When all of our grandparents were alive, good grief.. We would be trying to be at 5 houses in one day.. Ah the yelling in the car.. We were young.
Each holiday for my husband is stressful. He wants to be with just me and our daughter, but he also has his parents, his sister and her family, with her husbands family also in town,. I have my mom and her husband, my dad and my stepmom, my grandmother and all of that family, and then if any of the out of town or out of state relatives come down.. That adds another layer to the stress, of where to spend our time.
It is a shame that your boyfriend did not at least try to spend at least half of his time with you all, but it really is his choice.You either accept who he s and how his mind works, or you will go out of your mind.
I have been married to my husband for over 30 years. We have known each other since we were in middle school. All of these years we have dealt with all of this over and over.. When you plan on being with someone forever, things need to be able to be flexible.
Again, communication is a wonderful thing. And allowing each person to make their choices, sometimes, is very hard to accept but necessary. It shows your children how to work with an honor each other.
Here are the different thanksgiving situations we have been through.
Eat at my moms, then dash to the in laws, then dash to my father and step moms for another meal.. This was a few years when our daughter was first born..each thanksgiving, I thought I was going to have a heart attack, from the stress.
Sometimes, eat at my moms exactly at noon, leave at 2:00, drive to in laws...because they said they were doing a late lunch.....did not end up having the meal ready as said..and could have stayed 2 more hours at my moms, but instead end up at in laws until 8:00 because the meal was not ready until 5:00!
Host the meal at our home, in laws say they are coming, but back out that day...
Try to host the meal at in laws home, but SIL, backs out at last minute. Leaves mil in tears..
It goes on and on.. This year, daughter back home from college and here for thanksgiving for first time in 4 years...but she works for a charity and was in charge of an annual event.....arrived at the site at 6:00 am left at 1:00 after take down..husband went on his own to his moms, at 11:00 came home at 4:00.. We all took naps.. Then met my father and his wife at a restaurant for thanksgiving dinner. My mom and her husband were going to join all of us but, my cousin was in a accident and my mom and her husband went to be with him at the er..
All we can do is our best.. Being together forever takes, love, respect, patience and flexibility...
No matter who the 2 people are...