A Mom Who Recently Experienced Stillbirth

K., I am so sorry. I have been there, but it was our 3rd child. I can't imagine what you are going through with this being your first child. We had an autopsy done as well, but nothing was wrong with our Abigail. We buried her in the City Cemetery near our home.

I would say to go ahead and try to have another one. That's what we did. We were not trying to replace our Abigail either. We miss her and think of her all the time. There is no wait until your get through your grief, because it's always there, but it does get easier. Just last night my husband was talking about Abigail (she died June 2004) and what he experienced just after she was born. He was wiping his tears away and talking to me about it. We do this from time to time...talk to each and get through that moment that made us remember her so vividly again. He wants to have a portrait or picture painted by a friend of ours of Abigail...we'll probably get that done soon.

We were able to spend a day with her before we gave her up for the autopsy. Pictures were taken and we keep the best picture of her in our living room to remind us of our daughter, Abigail. (Our doc took the best picture.)

First of all, don't blame yourself. I remember my doc warning me of that. There is nothing you could have done. But do cry when you need to. My husband and I have never cried so much in our entire lives put together. We stayed close and held each other tight and actually became closer which I didn't think was possible! What you are going through is normal. Keep talking about it...

We were so sad, but eventually we felt very blessed to have this child sent to us even though we weren't suppose to 'keep' her. She came and received her physical body. She was too special to stay here on this earth and go through the pains and sorrows that we all do.

You will feel scared the next time, but you'll get through it. I'm assuming you'll be considered high risk like me. I had to go to the doc twice a week starting at 28 weeks with my 4th and 5th child....and will continue to do so when we have more.

If you'd like to email me privately, we can talk and you can email me whenever you want to. {HUGS}

K.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I miscarried my first child at 15 weeks and that was very hard. I can't imagine the pain you are going thru. I had the miscarriage on Dec 5 and that baby was due to be born the end of May or beginning of June. I remember telling my husband, I'll never for get those dates. Well, 8 months later we got pregnant with a boy, Matthew born May 29, close to my original due date for my first pregnancy. Then, 8 months later, surprise again, I get pregnant with our second boy, Christian, due on Dec 5 (the same day I miscarried) and born on Dec 2nd. God truly made those dates happy ones and memorable ones as I had two boys on those dates! I truly believe that God puts us thru trials for our good. He's an awesome God. You and your husband will get thru this. My good friend gave birth to twin stillborn girls and because of that ordeal she became a believer in God and now has 3 children. In all this, keep your faith, there is nothing that the good Lord can't do. Put your trust in Him, only He can give you the peace you need right now. Stay close to your husband and use this time to focus on each other. I will pray for you and him.
In Christ,
D.

I would wait a fe months before you try to have another baby you need time to heal and grief for the one you lost ands also wait and find out why she died

K.,
first of all, i am so sorry for your loss...it is soooo hard to make any sense out of things like this...my twin sister had a similar experience, and all i can tell you is that while you cannot replace your beautiful daughter, you might be able to lessen the pain once you have a new baby. she also had an autopsy, and nothing was found to be wrong with her baby..and with the next pregnancy, she worried until the day he was born....(not the usual 12 weeks, since she knew things could go wrong way past that)...she has had two healthy children, and her pregnancies were watched very carefully...unfortunately you probably won't enjoy them carefreely like some people do, but you will appreciate that baby even more. good luck to you...

K., you are not alone. None of this was your fault. I'm sure you took very good care of yourself and Ariana during your pregnancy. I highly suggest you seek counseling. It did wonders for me. You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I have not experienced what you have but I just wanted to tell you how terribly, terribly sorry I am for your loss. I will be praying for you and your husband - for God's healing of your hearts and His tenderness toward you. I am reminded of the Scripture that says that God bottles all of our tears and that in heaven, there will be no more tears.

My prayers go out to your and your husband during this diffcult time. You seem to believe that God has a plan and I agree. Although I have no real words of comfort, I can only recommend that you read "The Shack", by William Young. It may help to bring some understanding to you as to what God's Plan is for your and your husband, and future family. Keep your faith, because sometimes that's all we have. Again, my prayers go out to you. God Bless!

L.