Late Miscarriage And

I never had a late m/c only early ones but here's a site that you can find so many people who have went though all kinds of things. It helped me so much. www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com

My dearest K....I am so sorry to hear of your loss! My heart goes out to you and your family...just remember that there is an angel watching down on you forever.

I had two miscarriages but neither of them were as late as your loss. My second one happened by chance that my horomone levels were dropping-I had no signs of any problems. My body unfortunately did not reject the pregnancy so I cont. on until 12 weeks and then I just could not bear the thought any longer and I opted for a D&C.

We waited the full 6 weeks before trying again and I went into the idea knowing that if this next pregnancy was not successful I would/could not try again(emotionally). The next was a success and I have a beautiful 5 yo boy!!! I still mourn the loss of the the 2 before and the last one more significantly.

My Dr. really helped me through and made me understand that sometimes it is just in God's plans that something is wrong with this child and he very gently takes him away so he will not suffer through life any more than he needs to. I listened to him and what he said made sense. It took a while to sink in and accept, but with the help and understanding of my husband, family and friends we made it through!!!!!

Good luck with everything this next time around and keep us "mommies" posted with your happy news! I will be thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck-hang in there kid!!! He will never bestow upon you more than you can handle!!

E.
Mommy of 3 and wife of 11 yrs.

K., I so know what you are going through! I have a 7 and 5 1/2 year old son and now I have a 7 month old baby girl. In July of 2008, I too went for a routine ultrasound, I was 18 weeks along and was having a wonderful pregnancy. The whole family went to see this bundle of joy squirming around in my belly! The baby looked perfect, but no heartbeat. Of course me and my husband were devestated, but here were my poor 4 year old and almost 6 year old having to go through this with us too! It was the worst thing that I have ever exsperienced in my life.
At first I thought I'd never have another baby, I didn't want to go through that pain and put my boys through anything like that again. Within weeks I felt like if I didn't have another baby I would regret it for the rest of my life. We started trying after I had 2 normal periods after delivering our precious baby girl, that is in heaven.
We got pregnant again right away and I had a perfect pregnancy, despite fearing the worst would be at the next appointment. I delivered my baby girl a little over 7 monthes ago and I am so very blessed to have three healthy children and a little angel that I will never forget.
I remember the pain and how it was a flood of sadness, but time really does heal. I read a book called Empty Arms by Pam Vredevelt and took some advice from a friend that is not married with no children. He said to me 19 days after my lose, why are you so sad? I couldn't beleive that he had the nerve to ask, duh I had just lost a baby! He said the way I see it you are very lucky, I would love to have been married to the love of my life and still be so happy. I surly would love to have 2 healthy boys, I have none of that and I think your the luckiest person ever! I already knew I was lucky to have a loving husband and two healthy boys but for the last 19 days I had lost sight of that and started to slip into depression! He pulled me from that, from that day on, my attitude changed, I quit focusing on what I had lost and looked at every blessing that was right there in front of me! I am a better mommy because of my lose. I enjoy the late nights with my baby, because I am so glad that she is here with us. I look at the time with my boys and treasure it. And one day I will see my baby Kayla in heaven!
I hope that this in some way helps you, and if you ever need to talk to someone who knows what your feeling, I am only an email way!
God Bless,
M.

K.,
I am so sorry for your loss. I've never miscarried personally, but have had many friends and relatives who have, including two of my sisters. In both of their cases, the miscarriage was an anomally; there was no particular reason for it, and both had several healthy preganancies subsequent to their miscarriages. May God give you peace and comfort.

I am SO sorry for your loss. My first born, a son named Avery Jace, was stillborn at 34 weeks 2 days on September 5, 2006. He was 6lbs 8oz and 18inches long. He was so perfect and beautiful. We had an autopsy and several tests and everything came back normal. We have no reason for Avery's death. 1 in 200 pregnancies will end in stillbirth and over 1/2 of those a reason is never determined. Makes me wonder what the statistics are for miscarriages as I've heard many times people have them and didn't even know they were pregnant in the first place and don't know they are miscarrying if it's within the first month. Regardless of the age of the baby, it's such a difficult and horrible experience. I had a very easy and "normal" pregnancy. No high blood pressure, I don't drink, do drugs, etc. I have never had a miscarriage or stillbirth. Avery's death affects me every day. My husband and I did get pregnant again soon after because my cycles came back right away and my Dr. said to wait at least 2 cycles. Our daughter, Teagan Janell, was due on Avery's 1st birthday 9-5-07. I was induced at 38 1/2 weeks because of my anxiety. Teagan was born 8/27/07 9lbs 8.6oz and 21 3/4 inches long. She is a very independent 2 year old now. She looked so much like her big brother when she was born - I wonder what Avery would look like now and what his personality would be like. We waited a little longer after Teagan before trying again. Our 2nd son, Jace Randall, was born 8/8/09. He is now 5 months old and melts my heart. Teagan and Jace definitely don't take the place of Avery and I ache for Avery every day, but having them in our lives has brought the sunshine back. They are definitely our "rainbow" babies. Please feel free to write me anytime if you want to chat. ____@____.com Talking to others who have experienced a loss has helped me so much these past 3, going on 4, years.

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you and your family.

Sincerely, A.

K.,
As I just suggested to Eliz, there is no set time frame between a miscarriage and trying again. When the body heals, when you heal emotionally and physically, when hubby heals emotionally, then decide together.

I'm so sorry for your loss. There never seems to be any rhyme nor reason or whys. Been there 3 times and there was no reason. I tend to think it's because the body just notices a change it isn't able to 'register', and acts accordingly. God knows, however.

Remember that as devastating as it is, you're able and qualified to give comfort to another going through it. That's important too. To take a negative and turn it into something positive.

God speed.

K. 12 weeks sounds good but make sure your doc says its ok. I miscarried also, after doing a lot of research I found that a lot of what we do impacts our lives, things we don't think about could actually hurt us and our future babies. For instance: cleaning products from walmart or grocery stores have so many toxins in them our bodies absorb them not only through our skin but our breathing. A lot of the toxins can cause not only birth defects but our bodies to abort our babies. Check out your house if you want help click on the link you can request more info or call me:
http://www.betterhealthinfo.net/letslivegreen
I would be more than happy to help you clean house not only for your future children but also your 20 month old.
God is with us in all we do, you are in my prayers that your starting to try again God will protect your hearts!
I do have three healthy children.
Blessings!

first of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. I loss a little boy also. It was about 8 years ago now and I was almost 20 weeks at the time. At the time I had no other children and i was wondering if I would ever become a mom. I now have two boys ages 5 and 3 and I never had any problems with either pregancy.
I can't remember exactly how long we waited before trying again. It may have been six months or more. Right after the loss my thought was to try again as soon as possible. Now that I think back on it my rush to try so soon was to try and ease my pain or have something else to focus on other than my grief.
But, if you don't mind me saying, you must go through the whole greif process before you will be well enough mentally to even deal with the idea of being pregnant again. As well as giving your body the time to heal.
And what I can remember about those emotions and feelings I had was having was like being on a rollercoaster. I was down and depressed one hour and the next hour feeling as if everything would be okay. Then I would be angry and depressed again. all the mood changes actually had me exhausted!
Honestly, It was almost a year before I could get myself together again. Looking back I did not deal with loss well.
I hope that you have someone you can express your greif too. Or someone who will just listen to you talk about your baby. It was so important for me to let others know that my baby's life had meaning and he was so important to me.
Please take care of yourself first. Take as much time as you need to heal.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I miscarried my first pregnancy at 12 weeks. And my situation was a little bit different, but we waited two cycles (irregular so almost three months). I did get pregnant right away due to fertility drugs, but as I went through the pregnancy I felt like I had not given myself enough time to grieve. My recommendation is to talk about it as much as possible and allow yourself to grieve

Hello K. - I am SO sorry to hear what happened to you. I know you and your husband are so very sad at the moment, but in a few months the pain will be less I promise. I had a similar thing happen to me but when I was three months pregnant with my first child. Everything had been fine but when I went for a routine check the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat. I honestly thought this meant I would never have a healthy child. I waited a couple of years until we tried again, but realise that was just me. I do think your little one is still very small (I know lots of people want to cram their kids all together but if you are young I really think there's something to be said for spreading out your family as you get to enjoy each child so much). Anyway, I now have three gorgeous boys (15, 12 and 6)and never had a miscarriage again. Hopefully, the next pregnancy will be completely normal. I would definitely wait several months at least until your body and mind heal.
Enjoy your darling little girl - everything changes once you have two children - very hectic. Thinking of you - Alison

K.,

I am so sorry for your loss... This is the hardest to go thru indeed.

When Hubby and I went through this, I made a promise to myself as when the event occurred (mine was earlier at 7 wks, but even that early, the loss is still painful and left me feeling incompetent.)... I was sick at the time I believe I conceived. Also, I suffered frequent headaches and socially drank more than I probably should have - not saying I was a drunk, but I got it out of my system none the less. (Don't touch a drop now as I lost my taste for it!)

So what I did was purged my system of the chemicals and cleaned up my diet. I added a fitness routine in - nothing major, just stretching to help w/ the migraines, naturally. I was still taking prenatal vitamins, too.

I believe as a rule of thumb, the OBGyn will recommend you wait at least two full cycles, if not more depending upon how far and how much was done (like a D&C as that requires more healing on the inside of your body as well.).

My loss occurred in early Novemember (just days after my hubby's birthday, mind you.). We waited until late December to start trying. I took my 'First Response' test around Jan 6th and found that I was indeed pregnant. I waited a week (and five more positive tests later~ LOL!) and went into to confirm a pregnancy with my doctor.

I am thinking it may be a good idea to let your body (mind and heart) fully recoup for at least two full cycles, but that is just my feelings. But I don't think I can answer this for you other than sharing my experience.

Best of luck on this journey...

My husband and I lost a baby last April at about 12 weeks gestation; it was my first miscarriage as well. Everything appeared normal in my early ultrasounds and I was caught off guard when they couldn't find my little one's heartbeat.
We have a 17 month old son that is the light of my life. Within 4 weeks of our loss we found out we were expecting again; I was devastated, thinking there was no way my body, mind or soul could possibly be ready to go through this again. We weren't trying for a baby and didn't know we could conceive again so soon; doc said I couldn't start my BC again until after my first cycle (which I never had). My OB is the most incredible doctor and such a good man. He got me in right away and did labs and ultrasounds and began to monitor me closely right from the start to ease my anxiety. He said I had just as much chance of having a "normal" pregnancy as anyone else.
Well, now we are almost 35 weeks pregnant with a healthy little girl. I know there are a lot of different answers out there to your question about when is the "right time" to try again. It seems, ideally, the right time is when it feels right for you and your husband. Medically speaking, there is no evidence that one time is better than another. It's more an emotional readiness that takes more time for some people.

Jenn