9 Mo Old and Trying for Another?!

nice name, K.! haha, that's mine too!

Anyway, about the baby. I have two takes...I had mine 4 1/2 years apart. Why? I thought they could have separate times. You know, like an only child with my attention. That was great, but now I have a 16 year old, 12, and 7. It's harder than you think. So many different activities, age differences, have one ready for college and another in first grade. You get my point?

However, I have a sister-in-law who had all 3 one after the other. Made the first few years he**, BUT now, her kids are so close and they can do things as a family so much easier.

In some ways, I wish mine were close, for her reason.

Yes, it is a personal decision, so those are two thoughts.

Best of baby making!! :)

I got pregnant with my second when my daughter was 8 months. My son was born when she was 17 months.
I love the fact that they are close because they can play together but personally I would recommend waiting another year. Right now my daughter has hit her troublesome threes and my son is already into the terrible twos(turns two in may) It is very stressful now. When he was first born it didn't seem like much but now that they are both going through the temper tantrums, mine mine mine, etc. it does make it difficult.

ok...this is going to be a shocker for a lot of people but my oldest two are only 10 months apart, they are now both in kindergarden (and yes seperate classes) but they are the best of friends. i have 4 children and they are 6, 5, 3 and 10 months. all my kids just adore one another, yes its hard, yes they will fight and yes there will be moments you think you are going to go insane but...kids that small are excited about new editions. my 3 oldest still are intrigued by my 10 month old. also...me, my oldest brother and my sister were all close in age and we have never had a dull moment. honestly...when my girls were going to pre-school before i had my last child, my son seemed really bored a lot, but now that his sister is here, he will just sit and talk to her and play with her till she gets worn out and wants a nap. honestly....i think close in age is great....but thats my opinion.

My son turned 20 months on the day his brother and sister were born. Yes, we got more than we bargained for when we decided to have a second close in age - we got a bonus third child. I spent several nights during the pregnancy crying about how we would manage! We've survived the first 17 months with all 3. I won't lie, it's been unbelievably hard. We have no family and few friends in the area as we are relatively new to LA. That said, every month is getting easier (although still difficult). We're starting to see what an awesome family we'll have in a couple more years. They already are starting to try to play together a lot and my oldest wants the twins to go everywhere with him. I don't think it's crazy for you to want to try again so soon. It's difficult in the beginning, but it will be amazing as they grow up together. I would suggest that you make sure you have a support system in place for the first couple of years, especially in case you're also blessed with multiples. Best wishes.

I'd say wait at least 6 months before trying. Your body really needs time to adjust and stabilize. It is very hard on the woman's body to have kids that close in age.

Also, I'd like to point out that everyone who responded with a yes vote all cited examples of same sex siblings. What if you get a boy? I hardly doubt that he will want to play barbies or dolls or wear pink and play dress up. Not that there is anything wrong with that if a boy does, but it's uncommon. If you have another girl I still say a 2 year gap is good. That's not that big of a deal except around the 16/14 gap which for obvious reasons might pose a struggle. But in 2 years after that it will work it's way out. Also, think of these two words.... COLLEGE FUNDS! Do you really want to be paying for two educations with no slight break in between when the figures for our kids to have a basic collge education is going to top out around $140,000 each????

I will say if you are feeling the urge to start trying for your 2nd child, then go for it!

That said- don't be too shocked if it takes 12+ months to actually get pregnant! We thought "2 or 2 1/2 years apart will be perfect!" So we started trying for #2 when ds was 17 months. We FINALLY got pregnant in February (due mid November) and DS will turn 4 just 6 weeks after the baby is due. Everyone asks if DS was so hard to concieve- in short NO! We screwed up BCP ONE MONTH and got pregnant! This time it took nearly 2 years and fertility assistance to get knocked up.

I am not predicting fertility issues for you, just suggesting that you not expect it to work the first couple of months. A couple with average fertility should expect to concieve with-in 12 months of activly trying. Your chances every month are about 20% with no fertilty problems. Though 20% seems like "well then- within 5 month it should work", the stats don't change just becuase the 2 (or 12) months before didn't result in pregnancy. It is ALWAYS 20%, every month, no matter what.

Good luck, and a little sprinkle of baby dust headed your way!

In my personal opinion, the first should be potty trained by the time the second arrives. It's just much more pleasant that way. Of course, if you can handle the potty training and 2 babies in diapers, go for it!

Close in age siblings are wonderful, I personally waited to have them 2 1/2 years apart and I'm very happy, but the truth is, the more you have, the easier it is.

My challenges were to instantly snap between treating the baby like a baby and my toddler like a "big boy". Even now my son complains that I treat him like a baby or now I expect more from my younger than I probably should.

there is a ton of speculation you could do, but you don't really know how much having another child so soon can change your lives. it may make it easier in some ways, harder in others. my brothers are 17 mos apart and they have an inseparable bond. and one of my brothers has 2 sons and his sons are 13 mos apart (yes, 13 mos). i personally think its nice to have kids close in age (though not quite as close as 13 mos) so that they have playmates and possibly similar interests.

rah
i say go for it.

Hi Krista,

I have two boys - 17 months apart. Although my husband and I knew we wanted another baby, we were hoping to have them about 2 years apart. But, needless to say...it happened sooner than we thought (my first son was 8 months old when I got pregnant with baby #2)!

At the present moment, my sons are 20 months and 3 months old. I won't lie to you...it's rough! Having to chase a toddler around all while caring for a newborn is hard. But, luckily for me, I have a very supportive and helpful husband (not to mention, lots of extended family) so they all pitch in and help when they can. And, I know that it will eventually get easier as they get older. At least...I hope so!

But if you and your husband decide to go for it...just expect double the cargo and double the diapers! :)

Best of luck to you!
~Rae

Krista, we have 2 boys that are 19 months apart (ages 3 & 4). Right now I wish that they were just a little closer in age; however, 2 years ago I was pulling my hair out. It is crazy time for the first 18 months or so, but after that it is great. They play together and help each other. As with anything there are the up sides and the down sides, I would do it this way again if given the choice. Also just as an FYI, it was really easy for me to get pregnant the 2nd time even though I was breastfeeding and didn't have a period. I know the drs say you can but I never really believed them till I got pregnant so quickly the 2nd time!! Good luck!

My friend is expecting in June, and her son is 16 months. The problem...the 16 month-old is not sleeping through the night yet. So, if your daughter isn't sleeping through the night yet, I'd wait until she is. On the other hand, my husband and his siblings are all within two years of one another and are incredibly close, my mil says it was very difficult when they were little, but its wonderful now.

My children are 14 months apart. At first when I found out we were preg-I CRIED! We wanted them close, but was thinking more like 18 months or so apart. But I always say things happen for a reason so God blessed us with the second one for a reason(although he was a surprise)-So you can't change what happened.He is now 14 months and she is 28 months and I couldn't be happier-although don't fool yourself-it is tough, but worth it. I also struggled with PPD and the new baby had acid reflux which made it tough-the one good thing is my daughter was sleeping through the night for 12 hrs a night since she was 4 months so that was a life saver. I say if it was meant to be it will happen if not then it will happen when it is meant to be.Go with what you feel not what others say.GOOD LUCK! L.:)

Go for it!! :) I have two that are 14 months apart - a boy and a girl. I wouldn't change it for the world. Mine are now almost 3 and almost 4 years old. They are best friends and are pretty much in the same "stage" for all activities/toys/games etc. I have to say for the M. who said the boys will not like to play barbies etc that is not necessarily true - my son loves to play dress up (he has pirate outfits but he HAS put on the tinkerbell one - lol) and likes to make my daughters barbies drive in his firetrucks. On the other hand my daughter will play with spiderman and all the "boy" toys as well as her own. 1-4 year old kids do not really know that boys are not "supposed" to play with these toys and vice versa unless that is what you teach them. They play together almost constantly and do not like to go places w/o the other one being there. It was hard for maybe the first 4 months or so and then it became much easier. Once your older one can communicate a little better things start to go much smoother. We are now pregnant w/number 3 which was a loooong debate and I wish we would have gotten pregnant at least a year ago so that the baby and my youngest would only have a year or two bewteen them. Good luck to you!!

I have 4 kids and my last 3 are only 2 1/2 years apart. My daughter was 14 months (to the day) that my son was born, then my daughter was 2 1/2 and my son was 1 1/2 when my daughter was born. The baby is still 6 months, but the now 2 and 3 year old play great together and always have. They really are great friends. Sometimes they play on their own doing their own thing, but they love to play together too. Its never "easy" having a second or 3rd (or 4th) baby, but its totally worth it in the end. There will be days when you call a friend and say "why did I ever have these kids so close together" and there will be days when you watch your daughter help up her sibling after falling and say "its ok sister is here" while giving the sibling a hug. In the end, there are more times that you smile then cry. Totally worth it.