My oldest child has began acting out, refusing to do chores, homework, anything I ask of her she just screams NO! I have tried the time out thing that has gotten us NOwhere, also tried taking things from her such as her bike, tv, gameboy. And she doesn't care she just finds something else to do instead. This all came about after my grandfather passed away in December. She was very close to him and was what kept him going for the last couple years. So now when she gets upset she screams and kicks the walls wanting to know why I moved her away from him 2yrs ago. I'm at my wit ends with this I have her going to counseling and all she says there is I'm fine! When she really is NOT. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance
I just wanted to let everyone know that I greatly appreciated their advice. We are currently seeing a differant counselor and I was also able to find a few books for kids that help deal with this type of situation. She is doing alot better!!
It certainly sounds like you need to find a better counceler. No good counceler is going to let her just sit there and say she's fine and leave it at that. They would be using many other methods to get her to talk or act out what is really going on.
Seriously...you should look for another one. Counceling can be an amazing thing when you find the right person.
Talk to her.
Talk about the good times being w grandpops talk about what happened talk about Life you live you love u get old and cranky and rest Circle of Life Watch Lion King...
But u must talk... as u talk do chores together... ie: fold clothes on top of the bed and chat.... about what Grand pa did one time that was so funny...
Pray include him and talk to him to watch over us and protect us...
If u cry as u talk that's fine with time all wounds will heal it might also help u as well.
Life is not easy and our kids need to be prepared for the best and the worst...
that's my opinion.. hope it helps
i'm not a professional but that's what i do/did w my own family members
N.
I am sure this is a very difficult time for your family. Check out these two web-sites as they may be able to help.
http://www.newhopeforkids.org/grieving-childrens-services...
http://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/kindfirm.html
Lots of love, hugs and open communication goes a long way!
A.
CHILDREN HAVE A HARDER TIME DEALING WITH DEATH, IT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN MY DAUGHTERS WERE 4 AND 5 AND MY DAD DIED UNEXPECTEDLY, THEY ARE 28 & 29 NOW AND THE TRAUMA RESURFACES NOW AND AGAIN IN MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I SUGGEST TAKING HER TO A CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, IT WILL HELP TREMENDOUSLY, THIS IS SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO, AND THIS IS WHY THE TRAUMA RESURFACES STILL. GOOD LUCK!!!!
contact Hopsice of the Comftor ###-###-####. I am told they have a free childrens cousling and hopefully they can help you and your daughter deal with the loss of her grandfather
best of luck,
H.
Keep up with the counseling, maybe find a new one. but seriously, if you are taking things away, it wont matter, shes already had something taken away. Tell her your sorry. Sorry that it happened, sorry that he's gone, sorry she feels this way, sorry things went the way they did, but you CANNOT change it and her behavior is UNACCEPTABLE. PERIOD. You love her, you will do whatever it takes to make her feel better, but she is the child and you are the adult which makes you the one who knows whats best.
Shes grieving,yes, so grieve WITH her, be sorry, be sad, let her know its normal to be mad, but it needs to be controlled.
I WISH YOU THE BEST, YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS.
Depression in children is very different than adults...a counselor would be very appropriate.
K.-
There is a business off of Maitland Ave and Maitland Blvd. called New Hope for Kids. www.newhopeforkids.org They help with grief counseling for children and is a really great resource. She may need to talk with someone who is not related and who can help her express her sadness and learn how to communicate better. Hope this helps. Take care. It's not you and punishing her will not help her either. She needs to be able to talk out her feelings with a professional and learn how to channel her anger about Grandpa's death.
i am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. i would suggest some kind of grief counseling for her. one that is set with kids not adults where maybe if she sees other kids like herself, she wont be so angry. i would also suggest keeping an open line of communication and maybe a special journal where she can write down her good memories as well as her thougths about him leaving. good luck. B. cocoa
sahm 2 boys 10 and 3 with twin girls 2
