8 Year Old Not Eating Dinner

Hi D.,

At eight your daughter should be old enough to understand the basics of nutritious meals and the food pyramid. If she hasn't already studied this in school, there is a "for kids" section in the US Agriculture website that you can use to give her the basic information (http://www.mypyramid.gov/kids/index.html). Make her responsible for planning out her food menu, to include snacks and breakfast, within guidelines you can stand. For example: she needs to have at least two servings of fruit, three of vegetables, no more then two of the same main courses in a week, a limit on dessert type servings/daily calories, or whatever else you think is reasonable and necessary in your household. Sit down with her the day before you go to the grocery store and tell her she needs to come up with her menu for the week (hopefully it will be stuff the whole family likes -- and if you need to make that one of the parameters, then do that up front too), so that you can get the ingredients the next day. Tell her that you are not making two dinners, and if she insists on eating something that nobody else likes, she will be responsible for preparing it as well. Actually, this might be a good opportunity to get her interested in helping you out in the kitchen and learning how to cook in general.

I'm personally not a big fan of forcing kids to eat things they don't like. Encouraging them to taste new foods is one thing, but I think meal time should be a pleasant/bonding time experience for all participants, and not the best time to have battles. Besides, as adults we have certain preferences (I don't like Mexican or very hot and spicy foods) and would resent somebody who tried to force you to eat it anyway. I think that if you transfer the responsibility of the problem to her: selecting, preparing, and eating nutritious meals that aren't a lot of extra work for you, that you will find that she'll eat what she picks and dinner times will become much more pleasant. Also, she will learn a lot about nutrition and hopefully learn to appreciate how much work you've done in cooking and planning meals for the family.

Best of luck,

A.

I agree with the other mom. I would suggest you working together on meal plans for the week for the entire family. You should not be a short order cook. What is for dinner is what is for dinner. Involve your daughter in the cooking and encourage your daughter to at least try each item. I would also try to include at least one part of each meal with something you know she likes. It does take time to get kids to change eating habits. I would not force your child to eat but education helps and helping to cook also helps. I would also make sure there is not some other food/body image issue that is causing her not to eat. Food issues can have life long impacts.

Good luck
L.
-- Also, check out the book The Sneaky Chef. It has great recipes for sneaking in the vegetables and fruits (still serve them as well) into some of kids favorite foods.

Hi D.,

i have to also agree with Megan about breakfast being so important and children being "natural grazers".

i would avoid trying to force her to eat. i would keep junk food out of the house (uh oh!) and perhaps just have available yogurts, fruit, granola, and other natural and healthy snack options.

i would, however, expect her to sit with the family at dinner time whether or not she decides to eat-- only because it such an important time for the family to touch basis, discuss the day, stay aquainted and just spend precious time together. make dinner time a family time rather than a struggle to get your daughter to eat.

also, with puberty hitting girls at such early ages these days, you might have a pre-teen on your hands who is merely trying to assert her autonomy. kids do that at every stage, but more intensly at age two/three and then throughout the teen years. she wants to be in control over something in her life, and females typically turn to their eating habits as a medium of asserting control. perhaps you could find another outlet for her to feel in control of some aspect of her life-- choosing an instrument to play, or deciding on a new hair style, choosing a new design to her bedroom (can easily be done by buying a new bed spread-- or with limited funds, just moving the furniture around to her specifications) this may sound silly, and she doesn't need to know why you're offering her a choice in, say, what the family should do together every other weekend or one of the above examples, but eventually, i think this will help. if you've made it this far, i know you're creative enough to think of something!

as some other moms suggested, maybe just allowing her to participate in the dinner making or deciding process may simply do the trick.

good luck! you'll make it over this hurdle!
D.

I also have an 8 year old daughter that is very picky. I don't like catering to her dietary wants. A lot of times, she eats something like scrambled eggs, chicken nuggets, or ramen noodles. I want to just make her not eat unless she eats what we eat, but then I feel bad like I am starving her. I notice myself changing our dinner menu to cater to her, but then we have such limited choices. I don't know that I have any good suggestions. I just wanted you to know that I am in the same boat. I thought that she would have outgrown this by now, but I guess not.

Kids are natural grazers. It has been shown that 6 small meals a day are far better than the way most Americans are eating. Breakfast is very important--kids do better in school if they eat a healthy breakfast. In our house the kids can choose what they eat, but we only have healthy, parent approved options. If they don't like what is for dinner they can make sprouted grain bread and nut butter sandwhiches, but that is the only option. Follow the nutrician guidelines and let her be part of the decision process.

Hi D.,
My daughter (now 15) has always been a picky eater. She loves to make whatever she wants, my rule is you have to eat it all. I am thankful that one of the things she loves is salad. She doesn't care for too many meats, but neither do I. I have always been aware of all the eating disorders out there- especially amongst girls. My daughter has always had a snack after school- my rule is that she eat it with a banana or apple or some kind of vegie- she loves snap peas. She told me once that they have gross food at school so a lot of times she wasn't even eating lunch- yikes!! My house is very healthy so her snacks are too :)
I don't keep chips, candy, or anything like that in the house. She also makes cheese quesadillas?? I suggest to her to top them with lettuce and tomatoes. She has gotten better with age- she'll actually try new things now. It's hard when they are picky, but I would suggest keeping healthy foods around for her to eat. My daughter also made her own dinner a lot- my rule: at least taste what I made, and also clean up everything when you're done. She's a happy, healthy well adjusted young women and food isn't a major issue and I'm thankful for that:)
Hope this helps. peace, T.

Sorry I don't have the answer for you. But I do know for sure that you should never let her skip breakfast. She needs to feed herself for energy at school. She will learn better on a full tummy. At dinner my advise is to encourage her take one little tiny bite of each item. She may eventully realize she likes whats she tasting. Good luck.