8 Year Old Having Sleeping Issues

I have a 9 year old (boy) and it seems like the imaginations do get a little more creative at this age. Have you tried a night light so she can see there's nothing there? Maybe some relaxing music (to get her mind off the paper rubbing noise?). Even though there is nothing there, how about some things that empower her to be in control--a mantra she can say to herself or even 6 weeks of tae kwon do to boost her confidence. I think it's good that she's talking to you about it--maybe her thinking there is something wrong with her because of the way she's feeling is her way of saying she fears fear itself...

This link doesn't go exactly with your situation, but maybe it will offer some more tips:
http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpbehavior/0,,47zg,00.html

Good luck--it's tough when you can't help your child and want to so badly!

My youngest has gone through something similar. Some things that worked for us: 1) Music - have her choose what she wants to listen to. When she was younger, my daughter listened to Veggie Tales because they were funny. Then when she got a little older, she liked Jim Brickman (piano music). Whatever helps her relax. 2) Prayer - I don't know if you are a spiritual family or not, but for us, prayer has helped tremendously. We pray together in her room before she goes to bed. 3) Designating a stuffed animal as the protector of the room. Again, let her choose which one. Name the animal and remind her each night that he is there protecting her. 4) Nightlight or leaving a hall light on so she can see. 5) Mom or Dad checking on her occasionally to make sure she is ok. 6) A picture book or photo album with funny or comforting pictures. I hope this helps. Keep reassuring that there is nothing wrong with her. Let her know that lots of kids get scared at night, and that she will grow out of it.

First, you might want to be sure there isn't really a noise. I remember when I was young, my sister and I could hear rustling noises at night in our walls. Our parents didn't believe us for some time, then they realized that we had a mouse (mice) in the house. (Problem was solved by my Dad when he brought in a cat and put it in the attic for the night :-) Have you stayed in the room with her after it is completely quiet and listened?

If you rule that out, the other responders have some good suggestions about making bedtime less scary. If this anxiety starts happening at other times of the day, I might check with a trusted pediatrician or family counselor for ideas for helping her manage these feelings.

There may be a haunting in your home. She may also be watching too many paranormal type programs on TV. Try burning some sage inscense in her room. Sage will remove any and all negative energies from the space. She is a bit too old to fall for the 'monster spray' ruse, but putting 2-3 drops of lavender essential oil on a cloth or tissue an placing it near her pillow will help her sleep. You could also use an oil burner in her room again 2-3 drops of essential oil in water and light a tea candle under the water/oil. As the candle burns it will heat the water to steam and give a nice scent to her room. Do this a couple of hours before bedtime or make sure the candle is away from her bed. A candle warmer will also work.
You may have a 'psychic kid' if no one else in the family has this ability it is scary for a kid because they don't understand the gift. I am a psychic/medium so are my kids and grandkids. Even though we are very open about our abilities my granddaughter, 9 yrs old, is still quite scared of her ability.

I had to smile about some of the other posters. Ladies, let's not scare anyone any more than they already are! Please *DO NOT* tell your daughter that you are worried about ghosts - that will only freak her out.

I agree with the earlier poster - play some soothing music, get a good night light, and sleep for a couple nights with your daughter. The paper rubbing on something also sounds like the mice in our walls. I would check into that.

Another thing that I would highly recommend is enrolling your daughter in a very physically demanding after school activity. I believe someone suggested Tae Kwon Do, but it could be anything that she's interested in. If she's physically tired, she will be less prone to lay in bed and worry. Exercise is also one of the best ways of dealing with anxiety. If you have the option, I truly believe in horse back riding for girls. Horseback riding (not trail riding, but riding in an English saddle) requires LOTS of muscle and skill - it is physically demanding in a way that you wouldn't expect. I rode as a child, and I would be sore for days after each lesson. In addition, the feeling of power from being able to control a huge animal with tiny movements is incredible. It also allows girls to take responsibility for another living thing, work hard, and be outside - all important. Those feelings of power and control may be important for her.

What you described sounds a lot like an anxiety attack. Can you teach her some skills for dealing with anxiety - meditation, relaxation, breathing exercises, positive visualization? I also agree with the previous poster who mentioned that you should definitely let her know that you believe her and that you will be with her through her fear. Her fear will only increase if you tell her that she has to face it alone.

Good luck.

I personally believe in ghosts and i think that you should at least consider this, she sounds truly terrified and there is a reason for this. I think you should sleep with her in her room and try to see if you experience any of the things she does, if you don't i wouldn't just say that she is making it up because maybe she does have a gift and you are not able to hear/see the things she does. I have had many experiences with ghosts -- i am not a medium or anything but as my brother says i am a "sensitive" and it can be very scary, it could be nothing and just that she is starting to get a very imaginative mind or watching some shows that are about ghosts, ect. if so make sure she doesn't any longer obviously. I guess bottom line listen to her, she is very scared of something and don't dismiss that, help her by looking into every possible reason this is going on. Do you know anything about your home? is it old, is there any history with it with the past neighbors -did someone pass away in the home? just things for you to consider to look into -- also, this is just me but i would sleep with her more than one night -- if something is going on with a ghost, imagine how she feels when she is alone and something happens --plus it might not happen the first 2 nights you sleep with her.....good luck, i hope you can get this resolved, i would love for you to keep me posted on how things turn out.

My daughter heard the whispering too (as do I and my M-I-L), many people hear this and there isn't much explanation for it as far as I know. To help my daughter, I told her that the whispering she heard was the echo of conversations that went on in the house before us, that the sound got trapped inside and has just kept bouncing around and if she listens very carefully, she might hear a conversation that someone had from a long time ago (we lived in a 100 yr old farmhouse at the time). My daughter thought that this was the coolest thing and stopped being afraid of the whispering.

I think a nightlight is a great idea! As far as her not wanting to enter a room alone, my kids went through this too....neither would go upstairs unless the other was with them. At first I humored my kids and went with them but then slowly starting backing off by going to the door of the room they were in but not going in, then standing in the hall (within site), then further away until I only had to stand at the base of the stairs and talk to them while they went up. Eventually they overcame their fear.

I agree, go into her room at night and lay down with her until things are quiet and see if you can hear what she does. I once had a mouse that would get into my garbage can at night and rustle around in the papers looking for food, scared me half to death the first time it happened. Once I figured out what it was, I took a book and covered up the garbage can so it couldn't get in there anymore and dad set some traps out. Look for anything that might be rubbing up against her window or the wall next to her window, tree limbs, leafy branches, etc. that might make the rubbing noise. Maybe try putting a lock on her closet door, perhaps a slider that she can close at night to help herself feel safe and to keep the door from popping open. Also, check all air vents to make sure that there isn't something close to them that might be blowing around when the heat is on. Above all, let her know that you believe her (whether you do or not) and when she calls to you at night, go to her. Knowing that you believe her and are trying to help will help her get through this phase in her life much more quickly. Good luck to you hun!