My son will turn 8 in September. He is more of a loner but is generally a happy go lucky kid. Lately he seems sad and mopes and pouts about many things. He won't participate in LL practice like the other kids. His dad finally just pulled him from practice and left. He says he wants to play. I have tried finding out if anything is wrong. He doens't want to open up to me. I don't know if this is normal or not. He seems a bit young to be acting like he is going through puberty. I am frustrated, annoyed and worried. I don't know what to do. Do I ignore it? Yell at him? Anyone have experience with this?
Is there any chance he's suffering from depression? Any major changes (moving/deaths in the family) or anything like that?
Hi M.,
Our son was a loner too. Maybe sports isn't his thing.
You should find out what he likes.
Something is going on.
I find out a lot of things when I would sit down and color with my kids or paint, or play with playdo, or a card game or just go for a walk or something like that. Where it is just the two of you and NO interuptions.
I can't tell you how they open up like a book when you occupy their mind and do something together with them. I just start asking questions, and they start slowly opening up.
Good luck.
J.
I've found the best way to handle this kind of situation is lots of hugs. All the time. Children don't tell us everything we want to know. A lot of times they are confused themselves and do not know how to explain what they're feeling. Kids depend on us to know the answers to everything, but we also discipline them and when they are confused they sometimes feel they will get in trouble if they are not like the other kids. If you just take the time, hold onto him and hug him without questioning him, just telling him you love him, he will come around and tell you what's bothering him. Don't force it though. Give him some time to realize that you love him for being him and are there to help him. Don't be annoyed with him, don't yell at him and definetly don't ignore it. We live such a hurried and busy life now, we need to take time for our children and make sure they know we love them and are there for them. I am raising 2 grandchildren now and my grandson who is 10 has gone through this. We now have the communication and the trust to handle any issue. The hugs and assuring him of your love works.
Talk to his doctor about this. Usually, 7 and 8 are considered the golden years because kids are so happy and easy. Depression is children is becoming a real problem, so are diet issues. I don't think it is a normal developmental behavior.
Hi M.
My son gets the same way when something is bothering him. He will talk to us only when he is alone with me and his dad and we have to push him to tell us what is worng. I started taking him to a counsler which has helped aton because she will play games with him and get him to talk about things we never would have thought of. If you would like to talk more send me a message. Good Luck It is a tough time for both of you. :)T.
M. - It certainly is something to be concerned about. They are so sensative to certain things and what I would do is just be patient, be consistant and remind him that you are there for him in any way that he needs you to be. Offer to invite a friend over and observe their play. It might give you a bit closer look at the interaction of friendships. Another this is plan something where he can start to look forward to something... summer is coming and school is ending. Some children have a hard time without having something to look forward to.
Not much help but wanted to share some support.
Get the root of the problem..
Is he not particpating in LL practice because he's shy, not interested, trying to get attention, or because dad is watching?
I'm gonna guess something is bothering him. You need to find out exactly what then nail the problem.
Every child is different. Sometimes parents expect too much from their children.......want them to be perfect in every aspect. There are those personalities of being an introvert or extrovert when it comes to socializing. Have you spoken to the teacher and asked how he does in school with others. Some kids just don't want to play sports, his dad can't give up on him and pull him from practice.....actually practices can be pretty boring, how does he do in a real game. Maybe try a sport that is one on one, not as a team. Try maybe a musical instrument or maybe he is more interested in academic things at school, student counsel or something. Don't get frustrated, or annoyed, just try different avenues. It's something you learn... to open up to others....some never do....maybe he can express himself better in words on paper....it's okay, they just need to learn how to work things out inside in a positive manner. I have three children, one holds things in more, one express themself on paper, and one isn't afraid to express themselves outloud.....I'm not sure if I like that one all the time either.
