7 Yr Old About to Drive Me Crazy

This could be totally off base but:

He tried "I wanna please mom and dad" and that didn't get him a lot of attention. So now he's trying "I wanna give them hell" because maybe that will get some attention, even if it's negative attention.

I'm one of 4 siblings, and I love big families. But I also know that being 'the good kid' in a group of 4 often results in a child getting taken for granted and that good kid gets the least amount of attention. So as the mom in a family of 6, you do have extra responsibility to make sure you carve out one-on-one time with each child so they each feel special. Maybe life has been crazy lately and you are not doing that as much?

One suggestions: a rotating schedule of 'breakfast out with mom', where every Saturday, you take a different kid out for a one-on-one breakfast and devote all your attention to that one child for an hour. It's only once per month per kid, but I guarantee you that they will really look forward to it, and it may make a difference in your son's behavior if he's acting out because he's feeling overlooked.

First thing, mom, is that it's not going to better until your husband and you get on the same page. You didn't want to have a fight with your husband, so you caved. Don't you and your husband understand that this is a sure recipe for this child manipulating you both and playing you off of each other?

You two need to sit down and talk about all the different problems you're dealing with in terms of your son. Some things you need to pick your battles on - maybe rolling eyes is what you ignore. Allowing him to get out of his chores should be non-negotiable. You don't let him have privileges until the work is done. That's not the same as taking away privileges. He has to earn them.

No more letting him stay home from school. You and your husband's rule should be a fever over 100 degrees, throwing up or diarrhea that YOU actually see. Otherwise, he goes to school. Your husband needs to understand that if he allows your son to stay home when he is no longer ill or just says he doesn't feel good, that he is teaching him that he doesn't really have to go to school if he doesn't want to.

You two better get together on how to parent your kids or the tween years will kick you both in the butt. Not to mention the teen years...

Look, kids are growing and changing all the time. He's NOT going to be the same kid at 7 that he was at 5, so part of it is just accepting that fact. His little brothers are probably SUPER annoying which doesn't help.
Does he get out, and stay busy with boys his own age? Does he have friends over often? My kids were always much better behaved when they weren't constantly forced to be on top of each other.
Sports, really ANY exercise, helps too. Is he getting enough physical activity?
And don't forget, he is only 7. He may feel pressure being the BIG brother all the time. Sometimes we expect more out of our oldest one than they are ready to give or do. At 7 I was still reading to my son every night and tucking him in bed. You may be creating some of this behavior yourself simply by expecting too much, just be aware of that.

Hi, A.:

You wrote: "He did stay home from school only b/c his dad thought he should. Not my decision."

Here is your problem. You are your husband need to work together as a team when raising children.

I suggest you and your husband take parenting classes.

Good luck
D.

We also have a 7 year old son, and a 4 year almost 5 year old son. the older totally likes to boss around his little brother, when we do homework I get the eye rolls and even tantrums sometimes when he doesn't want to do it. I think it must be a phase and am so glad I saw your post!! He still likes to please us (i think), he is just gaining more independence and testing limits, in my opinion. I think it will pass just like everything else :)

How does he act at school ? There may be something going on there that he doesn't want to talk about. I would check with his teacher.