5Yr Old Acting Out in School

Have you spent a day observing the classroom? Some children need a teacher to have an individual connection with them to really listen - some mostly new) teachers just give blanket instructions to all (without having established a personal or individual connection first). Perhaps he is bored/not challenged in the classroom. Perhaps the 'work' is beyond where he is and he is not asking for/receiving help. I think you need to know what the issues are.

I personally do not believe in 'rewards' or ' consequences' for teaching children. Learning should be self motivated and I do not believe this is what rewards teach. I would be really upset if a teacher tried rewarding my son with stickers or a chart. But if this is the system you use at home, maybe it will work for you.

My daughter just recently turned 5 & is in a Pre K class. The happy face/sad face is a good idea. Her teachers send home a daily report paper that I have to sign & send back. They will put a smiley face, straight face, or sad face depending on how she behaves that day. Then they can leave notes as well.

It's amazing how excited these kids get at the end of the day to see what face they got! Sometimes I will tell my daughter that if she doesn't get any sad faces for a week, I will get her a small prize that weekend, or do something special as a reward. This helps get her excited about it.

Evaluations by specialists will vary by provider and health plan. With Kaiser, we started with a child psychologist for tips on improving behavior, then moved on to a behavioral therapist. At that point, we were given forms to complete and our son's teachers also filled out forms. More meetings with the therapist. When nothing worked in fixing our son's issues, our son was kicked out of preschool and we advanced to the child psychiatrist. Additional forms and discussion and meetings with our son. It took about a year and a half to get the official ADHD diagnosis, but he was being treated for the symptoms before the official diagnosis.

Other specialists may evaluate for things like learning disabilities, do blood work, etc. It really varies again by your health insurance, your child's issues and type of specialist (don't let a pediatrician do the evaluation, by the way ... not qualified).

Try seeing too if there is something the teacher is willing to do to reward your son. My son loves to be the center of attention and so his third grade teacher made a deal with him that if he was good in class that day he got to get up at the end of the day and tell one of the jokes (from a school library) joke book he had. It gave him something to look forward to at the end of the day.

While this may very well be a behavior issue and the child not cooperating, you may also want to inquire about his interactions with others in the class. If this is new behavior, it is possible that he is being picked on or bullied by another student. Does the behavior follow any pattern? For example, if he acts up and the result is that he does not get to go outside for recess (not a good punishment for lil ones, but that is a different issue) perhaps he is trying to NOT go out because another child is bullying him and it is safer in the classroom.

I think this is deeper than just being obstinate. Especially if he is shutting down and not talking about it - he may be embarressed or not know how to put it into words. It might help to have him talk to someone at school, like the social worker, not for a formal evaluation, but just as a check-in.

The behavior chart is a great thing and at the end of the week if he does well take him out for an ice cream or something small at the store as a reward. Make sure you tell him before going to school what you expect and something like if you do well mommy will give you a surprise at the end of the week. Worth a shot ! Good luck

My 5yr old had a hard time adjusting from preschool in daycare setting to 4K. It went from low student to teacher ration to 24 kids to one frazzled teacher. She wasn't getting any attention at all, so she sought it out in the best way a 5yr old can. She acted up.

There are some small things a teacher can incorporate into their day to give him more attention. A sheet of stickers carried w/ her. She can put one on him (or any kid) when they are behaving well. An extra smile for him. Make sure she is making eye contact w/ him so he knows she knows he is there. A thumbs up to let him know he's making good choices.

I think it's good to keep talking at home, but at 5, they can't really explain why they do what they do..

Your child NEVER acts like that at home? This behavior is ONLY at school?