5 Yr Old "Social Issues"

my daughter seems similar I've asked tond of questions about her.
Shes in tball and gosh all of the other kids hit the ball or miss and giggle she worries the whole time- and she's actually natually good at thowing and hitting but with the worrying it impedes her abilities when with the team. I J. want her to have fun and be part of a team and learn to lose and still laugh...it not working so far=(

Shes 5 and started K at 4 too. Although I don't think starting K early could make her like this. I mean if she did 2 years of Pre-K would she not worry so much? I do think her personality would have been the same but she wouldn't have as much to compete and worry about though. Shes in the top of her class but struggles with a lot because she's sensitive and overthinks everything in the world.
She actually was worried last week because she wanted to know what happens if one person falls out of love in marriage or what happens if she gets bigger ad someone asks her to marry her that she doesnt love...shes a worrier and overthinker.
Good in a lott of ways but gosh tiring for M. since i like to see her happy.
Everyone at my work jokes that I need to give her a drink=)

I don't consider anything a disorder until it effects their happiness.

All four of my kids and me have "disorders" yet only Andy would I say he has one. The rest of us deal and adapt.

As I told one kid in college who was so jealous of my mind and how quickly I can get work done. Yeah, I can do your four hours of homework in one and then I spend the other three trying to figure out how to appear like you.

What I mean is so long as the equation equals, in other words, less work equals more time to work on the social aspects, it is not a disorder even though the doctors may label it as such.

So watch him, perhaps even talk to doctors, but do not lose sight of the big picture and in the end you know him best. Sure he sounds a bit Aspie but is he happy?

Honestly, it sounds perfectly normal to me. My son (now 6) was much like that at 5. Perfectly well behaved at preschool and school, participates, play with lots of kids, has a few closer 'friends'. But at home, things like getting dressed, brushing teeth, changing schedule were a lot more work. Making things fun/playful parenting and trying to work as a team rather than adversaries helped a LOT (yup, these are supposed to be toddler techniques but for us they have continued to be effective). We had long periods (OMG, seemed like years to me) where he focused on legos, then Star Wars, then coloring sea animals, then playing school with his stuffed animals). He has always had a great sense of humor but does easily get his feelings hurt if we misjudge and joke around too much. He still loses it when it's not his turn to pick which restaurant we go to and we don't pick his choice. I have NEVER had a feeling that any of his behavior is anything but normal.

Do you 'feel' like something is wrong? Or do you just think it should be 'easier' by now. If you really feel something is wrong - talk to his doctor. If you just feel it should be easier - well my input is - yes it absolutely should but no it's not.

Your son sounds somewhat like my now 6 year old when she was five except everything wasn't an argument. But she was a major perfectionist. Writing a letter incorrectly would send her into hysterics. I was fairly worried bc she was SO hard on herself. She also isn't comfortable making new friends etc. But she's gotten much better. We kept explaining everyone makes mistakes etc. So not sure about your son of course but it could partly be his age and as he matures, he'll be able to cope with not being perfect and all. I'm a perfectionist in ways but I make a real effort to not be like that around our daughter. So try to model having fun and not worrying and hopefully he'll grow out of this somewhat as my daughter has.

This could just be his personality but you may ask your doctor for a referal to test for Aspergers Sydrome (on the low end of the Autism Spectrum). Your son sounds very similar to my best friends 9 year old son when he was this age. He is relatively "normal" in most aspects but struggles with understanding social cues from others. He takes everything literally so there is no sarcasim for him, he gets his feeling hurt easily, becomes easily upset with change, and is very hard on himself if he does not complete a task "perfectly".

I have to say that with both of my boys age 5 was/is by far the hardest(forget about terrible 2s:)) Everything is an argument .....yep.
About other things is sounds like it's some sort of sensory thing. I have a friend who's son is 7 and he has those things plus others, so they are in the process of getting him help (not really putting on a label but so they know how to help him deal with life). Would not hurt to ask you doc .

Sounds like some good old fashioned discipline is needed for the at home issues. Don't back down. Set a bedtime and stick to it. The world doesn't revolve around him and he'd better get used to it now.
At 5, yes he's just developing. He isn't going to understand his needs for perfection. He's acting on instinct.
Maybe you could show him somehow how imperfect you are and that it really isn't a big deal, that he still loves you with 'warts'. Maybe example would be easier to understand for him.
If he doesn't like surprises, then talk with him. Riding the bus or getting picked up. That way he learns about communication, and making plans.

Our 5 yo daughter sounds similar to your son. At school she is nearly perfect, but at home is another story. Her outbursts are aggressive and uncontrollable. We cannot distract or comfort her, and her frustration level spirals out of control over random events. She dislikes change, and loves the calendar and being in control. She is already hard on herself, and we have always been a "try your best" type of family, not a perfectionist family. We finally had her evaluated so we could learn how to help her. My husband and I are seeing a therapist for her (she will come for later sessions). The therapist said he didn't want to label her if we didn't want her labeled (honestly, I don't care that much, I just wanted help), but he said many of her traits fall on the Asperger's spectrum, although likely the milder side. What I like it that he focuses on her and what we can do to help her help herself. Even if it is her personality and not a disorder, I still appreciate the outside viewpoint and help. Also, I have found that knowing other parents have children who behave in similar ways is a relief. Good luck!