5 Yr Old Acting Out in School

Hi A., I have a son the same age and have been dealing with the same as well. My ex left the home when he was 4 yrs old and it was really hard on him. He behaves at home for me but would act out at day care & now kindergarten. The day care wasn't so bad. He had the same teacher who is an older woman who knew the situation & he felt comfortable with her but kindergarten was a whole new ball game. He was constantly in trouble at school some of the things I agreed with and some I thought were petty, however it had to be addressed. I started a behavoiral chart at home and worked in things for school as well. If he obtained so many magnets by the end of the week, he got to do something fun like a play date or ice cream. Occasionally a toy but not often. If he acted up in school he would lose magnets, which made it harder and depending on what he got in trouble for, he would lose his toy room and only get flash cards to play with for the rest of the day. Needless to say he didn't like that.

His teacher (kindergarten) was young & this is her first year to teach so not alot of experience and to top it off it was a very large class of 28 kids, which is too many in my opinion. I did have some problems with the teacher as well with some statements made to my son so I ended up changing his class, which is the best thing I could have done. He was placed in a class with an older teacher with only 17 children in the class. His behavoir has been fantastic & he loves his new teacher & friends. He gets up every morning wanting to go to school because it's fun. I feel like he is getting alot more individual attention, which he needs at this time, & I have already noticed an improvement in his work & his attitude.

What you are going thru is just a bump in the road and you & your son will get over it in time. That is the key "Time". I wish you all the best & hope this helps.

a lot has happened to throw an adult off the loop let alone a young boy :(.
next time you talk to school people ask for them to put him in behavioral chart. something like 5 days a week, two times a day (am and pm) he's supposed to get a sticker. he's allowed to miss two times a week. at the end of the week either you or the father, if your son, has gotten at least 8 stickers, then you treat him with something.
it worked with my daughter in kindergarten. if he misses more than two stickers no punishment except no reward. if he continues missing more than 2 stickers a week then the school (ie teacher) should start taking 5 minutes from recess per acting out.
hang in there mom. i honestly don't believe in counseling at such a young age. he just needs to understand you and dad will always be there for him.

Wow! The poor kid has been hit with a double whammy--dad and his teacher (kids are kind of close to their Kinder teachers, I think). I agree with Deniece about continuing the punishment at home when he has acted out in school. Review the school rules with him often, also. Sorry you're going through this and I hope it gets better. I hope the counseling will help him as well. You sound like a great mom.

It probably is because of all the changes and that is understandable but he still shouldn't be allowed to act out and get in trouble at school. I would make it clear to him that if he gets in trouble at school, then he gets grounded at home that day. No TV, no toys, no playtime with friends and no special after school snacks. Follow through with it and don't cave in. If you don't nip this in the bud now, it could lead to a lifelong habit.
Also, be very loving and empathetic. It is hard on children when big changes are going on and I'm glad you have him in counseling. I think it will help.

I was going to say the same thing as Deniece. If my 5 yr old gets in trouble at school she is grounded for the day. No tv, toys,or friends. The only thing she is allowed to do is educational stuff. Learn words, read books, work in the workbooks I buy from the dollar store,puzzles, that sort of thing. But your child is acting out because of all the changes and it will take some time for him to readjust. Just be patient. If you stand your ground this phase won't last long. Make sure to spend as much "quality" time as you can with him. This could be a good way for him to begin to share his feelings with you.

Hi there, I am adopting 3 young children that I fostered for a year and a half so I think I know what is going on here. You are the one safe dependable thing in his life right now and he wants to be sure that you will be there when he needs you. Also, the fact that the new teacher is a male may be causing him to act out towards him because of his feelings about his father moving out. You are doing the right thing by taking him to counseling. They will get him to talk about things that he may not even realize are bothering him and they will help reassure him so he can feel safe and secure again. Just remember that you have to keep enforcing the consequences of bad behavior or he will pick up some pretty bad habits throughout this whole thing. Good luck.

Those two situations by themselves alone are enough to rock you little guys world! Does the school know that you and DH have separated?

I would have a conference with the teacher and principal to work out some of his issues at school Let them know he is in therapy. The therapist should also be willing to work with the school or give them some suggestions on behavior modifications.

Good Luck!