5 Year Old Son Acting Out at His Dad's House

Mallory I disagree just because Dad is spanking the child does not mean he is abusing the child. In my book 20 years ago when children were spanked for a good reason they seemed to act out less. We had less issues with children misbehaving as well. There is a difference in spanking a child and beating a child/hitting a child. i.e Popping a child's butt for stealing candy from the candy store will make him think twice about doing it. For some kids time out just doesn't work.

In my opinion your son is acting out for attention, not because he is a bad child. I would just keep trying to talk to your son or find someone your son can talk to. Does he trust a teacher or friend parent or even a friend depending on how old he is.

I wish you the best as I know this is a difficult situation for you.

Hugs!

sounds like your son is feeling neglected at daddys. not actual neglect just too much competition. a step mom step sibling and now a baby. how do you rate how do you get daddies attention. you get in trouble so daddy has to pay attention to you. or maybe there are problems between him and step mom. daddy needs to spend more one on one tme with him. ask the daughter maybe she can tell you what he wont. but to me it sounds like jealousy.

Poor little guy! I would find a child counselor and take him immediately. If you don't address this now, it will escalate, and you will one day have a delinquent on your hands. Sounds like things are pretty rigid and volatile at his house.

Little children often have no other way of expressing their emotions than to 'act out.' It's their way of saying something's not right in my world. (We adults do this too!) I would guess that the paddling is your ex's way of venting as well in not knowing what else to do. That is not condoning the paddling, just commenting on it.

Have you considered asking him that for a period of time that you have full (or most) of the physical custody while figuring out what's going on? Perhaps he would welcome it as well. I would definitely seek professional counseling - with someone who is not going to just put a bandaid on the situation.

Good luck to you with this. Don't give up. Stick with it. Your son needs your support. Let him feel your calm and balance so he can have a consistent source of security (emotional.) Let us know how it goes.

I would talk to the school and the program director to try to get to the bottom of the problem. The school may have the resources for a counselor or someone to talk to.

just because its legal doesnt make it right. thats great that you and hubby had your son 50 50 but now that things have changed sooo much i think its time to get a lawyer and reevaluate this. your son is acting out and its clear why BIG changes.. thats alot of changes for a 5 year old... Please think of the best thing for him and go to court

Wow, there seem to be many changes at his father's home. My guess is that his misbehavior there is a reaction to those numerous changes. I would say to continue to reassure your son of our your love and encourage his father to do the same. Your son may be feeling as if he is not as important to his father now that there is a new child. Maybe you could ask his father to take your child on a few mid-week father-son outings to reassure your son that he still loves him just as much as always. If your ex-husband doesn't want to discuss "his family dynamics" okay, but maybe you can approach in on the level of helping your son get back on track in school...Does his father respond to the school or come to conferences with you about these issues? If not, maybe you could ask him to start taking part in those as well. It may sound crazy, but that would also reassure your son that his father loves him.

Hopefully with time and continued reassurance from you and his father, your son will settle down and adjust to the living environment at his father's house.

You didn't mention if you have any "concerns" over your sons well being, just that you disagree with discipline tools that your son's father uses. So everything I said, I based on you trusting your son is safe and well cared for when he is with is father. Having said that, I will add that if you have any reservations or fears that your son is being mistreated in anyway...you should follow your instinct until such a time as you get to the bottom of your son's misbehavior.

T.