My 5 year old will copy almost anything my 2 year old does. Running around the house, jumping up and down, making weird noises, repeating the baby's language. It is driving me bonkers! I am not sure how to address this, except by telling her to stop, that she is 5 and i expect her to act like she's 5. I've explained to her several times that she experienced all those things when she was a baby, not she is growing up and shouldnt be copying the baby. As soon as she sees the baby with something or someone picks her up, my oldest wants the same things, and vice versa with the baby. I think my oldest may feel like her sister is getting more attention. I try to make a concious effort in to giving them both the same equal amounts of attention. But then, when I try to give my oldest one on one attention, she misbehaves something terrible. She has ADHD and takes medicine in every morning to help her, but I think she is acting out on purpose. So what can I do so these girls get along instead of just wanting what the other one has? And how can I get my 5 year old to act 5 instead of like she is 2?
Agreed to tx her like she is two. Or just the opposite. Show her all the wonderful things she can do because she is 5. Go some where sissy can't go or do something she can't do, play with something sissy can't play with.
Mine were about the same age apart. There will be an end to it when she starts K. I know you will be glad!
My oldest photo bombed Every pic I took of my youngest!
A child's mind: "I uesd to get all the attention until baby came around. Now he gets all the attention so maybe if I act like I'm 2 I'll get some of that attention back." They don't realize they're doing it - it just comes naturally. If your 5 yr old wants to act like a 2 year old then just comalong side her and begin to do all the things you need to do for your 2 yr old. No yelling, no "mean mom" stern-ness - just matter of fact "OK honey, it's time for yoru nap" (I dont take naps, I'm not a baby) "well, if you want to behave like a 2 yr old then it's time to take a nap like one" then put her down for the nap and when your little one gets up then she can get up. Anything special that she gets becuase she's 5 (stay up a little later, special foods, playdates, etc.) just eliminate them. When it's time for the 2 yr old to go to bed it's time for her to. When she wants "Emma" to come over and play - well 5 yr olds don't have playdates... You get the picture - and so will she. She may follow along for a few days but she'll tire of it pretty quickly. Good luck mama!
I would let your 5 y/o act two. First of all I see no real harm in it. My kids are older yet they all like to act a little more immature sometimes. Growing up can be hard, with extra responsibilities and expectations, and sometimes it's nice to step back into a more immature version of yourself. She may just be trying to relate to her two year old sibling, you should help them find things they can do together. Also things like food, TV time, and naps are all restricted when you are two, so if you really want your 5 y/o to start acting older start treating her like she is two. For example two year olds get less TV time, no hard candy or gum, and they have to nap, so make her lay down. Make sure that you are giving her an outlet to act older. Offer to let her help you do things 2 year olds can't, and play cards and things with her that only big kids can do. Honestly 5 is still pretty young, some days she is going to act like a baby.
This is very normal big-sibling behavior, and unfortunately, the more you react, the more you do it -- it's a surefire way to get attention.
Just ignore it. She'll outgrow the phase anyway, but she'll outgrow it a whole lot quicker if you don't reward it by reacting.
You are exactly right: she is doing this because she wants as much attention as the 2 year old is getting. When she does this, don't be annoyed by it, give her the extra attention she is craving and deserves. Does the little one take a nap? Maybe you can occasionally use that time to sit down and do something special with your 5 year old. It's hard to believe she acts out when she's getting mommy time. Ask her what activity she wants to do with you.
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You are exactly right: she is doing this because she wants as much attention as the 2 year old is getting. When she does this, don't be annoyed by it, give her the extra attention she is craving and deserves. Does the little one take a nap? Maybe you can occasionally use that time to sit down and do something special with your 5 year old. It's hard to believe she acts out when she's getting mommy time. Ask her what activity she wants to do with you.
Normal. Baby gets lots of attention for her antics, so if she mimicks baby, she will too!
It's not about "equal attention." Try engaging her on her level. Do what she's doing (don't try to direct or choose the activity). It might be that she misbehaves during your one-on-one time because she doesn't feel like she's really got your attention...because you're still "running the show" during that time.
Good luck!
C. Lee
My daughter does this too...she's 5 and her brother is 3. There are times when she is totally fine and makes good choices, etc. and there are other times that she acts like a maniac and does "3 y/o" things and yes, it also drives me bonkers....
But I don't think it's attention issue, I don' think she feels left out or anything that complicated. I truly think it's all about having a sibling and seeing what they do and wanting to do it too, no matter the age. It's almost as if they realize, wow, I didn't even know that was an option...I wanna try that!
I would say if she's doing something that is inappropriate that you are also trying to correct the 2 y/o for, then yes absolutely discuss it with her. Or if she's talking in a baby voice or crying to get something she wants, as her 2 y/o sibling might, then yes, again, correct her...but everything else, eh...I'd let it go.
This sounds just like how my granddaughter is acting; she is 3 and very smart, but if she thinks that we are giving her baby sister attention, she will do everything in her power to get our attention. If her sister has a toy she will take it from her, whatever her sister is doing she will do the same thing. It is very irritating but I know she is just doing it for our attention. I don't know the answer on how to handle this, but I do like the others suggestions about treating them how they are acting. good luck!
Let her be two! "All right, Janie, if you'd like to be a toddler, today you're a toddler." Join in the fun of it... but all the five-year-old activities are OUT. I'm sure your daughter will quickly realize what she's missing by being two again. Then you can say, "That was fun for a bit, wasn't it? But I'm glad you're five. Now let's read a book together!" Maybe she will want to be two again some time - and it's OK for half an hour if there's a half-hour available.
Somewhere I have a picture of all four of mine when number four was a baby and the other three decided to get in on the act. They all drank out of bottles that afternoon and ate baby cookies, and thought it was fun. When I said I had to put all of them in diapers - not so much! Game over!
As far as the sibling rivalry is concerned, it's pretty typical. It can take a lot of time and a lot of patience to teach them how to get along. Remember that people are all very self-centered when they're young.
Treat her like she is a baby. She will get over it fast! In the scheme of things, it really isn't a big deal. I know it drives you crazy. Just try to ignore it. Hopefully with spring coming, she will be outside and very busy and probably forget about the baby.
When my older GD was doing that with the younger (both lived with me), I would be sure to make remarks like "I sure am glad you're getting older and can help me _____. " or "Since you're now old enough, you can do x by yourself." (Go outside in the backyard or whatever she "gets" to do that the baby can't.)
She just needs to see the upside of being older!
