5 Year Old Boy Prefers to Play with Girls

No big deal. As a 5-year-old my son was the only boy at his kid birthday party, oh, other than his brother. All of the invitees were girls and the theme was Care Bears. Now, as a 7th grader, he is "all boy" and his friends are all boys, although he is "friendly" with several girls. He was never teased about it and the phase passed. In middle school he has been teased and even bullied for other reasons, but never for anything related to gender issues. Both of my boys, now 13 and 16 and very into "boy things," went through phases when they were younger where they played with kitchens and sometimes dolls and wanted their nails polished. We just went with it.

He's 5. No worries!

My husband always hung out with girls more, straight through high school. He never had many guy friends, really only one. And he's about the most masculine person I've ever met (ask the pink shirt in the corner of the closet that I bought for him. Poor shirt has never gotten worn).

Yup, plenty of things to worry about in life, don't let this be one of them. Hugs!

I don't really think boys get teased for that in kindergarten often -- that seems like something that doesn't kick in until 2nd or 3rd grade. At this point, friends are friends, and gender doesn't really seem to come into it. Mixed gender groups played very well together for both my kids when they were in kindergarten and first, but they start to separate as the hormones start to show up. I wouldn't worry about it if there's no evidence of a problem.

Rest assured..... he will get teased for SOMETHING. If it's not for playing with girls it will be for something else.

I have noticed that kid's don't break into completely gender-centric groups until about 2nd grade. Then once they hit middle school they will all get back in a group of mixed-gender.

I would focus on making sure your son knows what a "good" friend is (nice, helpful, supportive, takes-turns etc) and not be concerned at all about what gender they are.... I'm not sure why that is an issue, to be honest, and certainly not something that you should be "freaking out" over. That sounds excessive to me.

Please, stop the freak out. Right now.

Kids all play in different ways. Your son may have more developed social skills and enjoys playing in the ways that girls play, not necessarily 'girly things'. This has nothing to do with how masculine he is. Girls (often, not always) do a lot of discussion before playing: "I'll be the mom and you be the sister and you be the brother and we live in a castle and our castle has a dragon." Girl-style play appeals to a lot of boys who like predictability and enjoy talking during play and using lots of language. It's easy to know you are included because girls are generally more socially advanced at this age.

(this doesn't mean that boys are total lummoxes, either. It's just my experience that many boys focus more on the physical movement, action and horseplay and don't often have a lot of planning or discussion when they play. For kids who like to know what's going on, this can feel uncomfortable.)

My son loves to play with girls. He's five. He doesn't really 'get' the whole "run around like crazy" thing that he sees with boys, because that's what he does when he doesn't have friends around. He doesn't know how to 'enter' that sort of play.

No one has teased him about this. If they did, I would help my son to understand that 'boys play only with boys/girls play only with girls' is a pretty narrow and ignorant mandate. He does try to play with boys, but sometimes prefers the more well-developed stories the girls create. Nothing wrong with that.

One last thing to say: I am raising my son to be who *he* is and to enjoy himself without worrying about what other kids might think. We may get to that bridge, and we'll cross it when it comes. Some kids march to the tune of their own drummer. Those kids can be made to conform, or they start their own marching band because other kids think that they're cool, anyway, just being themselves.

My son is in kindergarten too. He is 100% boy but usually plays with the girls. He has been this way from day one. If we go to park he will usually find a girl to play with. At school he does the same thing. The little girl at school this year is his new BFF. They spend every minute of the day together. They even share their snack together. He plays with all kinds of toys both boy and girl stuff. I think it makes him well rounded. I am not worried at all about him being teased. Kids can be mean and if someone wants to tease your son they will find something about him weather it be who his friends are, his name, color of his hair or what he brought for lunch to eat.

IMHO there are way more things to worry about then your son playing with girls.

Good luck
Let him enjoy his new friendships.

My son is now 17 and his best friends have always been girls. That's not to say that he didn't have boy pals. He did. Some of them were as close as brothers to our family. But, he had a sister 10 years older and he grew up with girls around all the time. It was perfectly normal and natural for him.

He never got teased about liking girls, but he did get teased about girls liking him. They always had crushes on my very cute son. Still, it didn't deter him from having girls as friends.

When I was a kid, my best friends were boys. Even in high school.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. He may well go through a stage where he thinks girls are completely gross and then go back to liking them.

I don't see anything wrong with girl/boy friendships.

Just my opinion.

This is normal developmentally for your son.

Many boys go through stages. Was he an early talker?
I bet he has a great vocabulary.

More advanced boys, like creative and language play..

If anyone teases him, he can just tell them, I like these girls.
There is no hidden agenda here.

Have you spent much time around the other boys in his class? From your SWH I suspect he is not only more verbal but probably a little more mature too. Girls at this age usually are a bit more "together" in the way they play and interact with each other. He may just be gravitating towards the kids he relates to more.

In my opinion being friends with the opposite gender is always a good thing no matter your age. He's just chatting up the ladies, I would not waste one minute worrying about it.

Don't see what the problem is. As long as he is happy, let him be. Let it go or he will pick up on your vibes.

Um, so?

If society didn't keep trying to stuff boys and girls into predetermined roles - you would not even be thinking about this.

My son, at 16, has more girls that he hangs out with at school than guys. He will tell you "I am in touch with my feminine side", then laugh. He has close guy friends also.

In kindergarten children are learning social skills. I don't think it matters which gender they play with. The only way your son will think it is wrong or odd to play with girls is if you teach him that.

Just relax and be glad that your little guy is enjoying pre-school.

Hugs.

No-one teases him. No one ever has teased him because he "plays" with girls - because he has, back to kindergarten.

stop freaking out.
he's in kindergarten, fer cryin' in a bucket!
khairete
S.

It's pretty common at that age. My son had more girl friends than boy friends in K. He was on the smaller side, and pretty cerebral, and a lot of the boys were bigger and more physical than he was.
My youngest daughter was the same way. Even though she was quite girly she preferred the more physical play that the boys were into, like tag and other running games.
They really don't sort themselves out by gender until after the first few years of school. I imagine he's just fine and I'm sure no one is teasing him :)

my son didnt like how physical a lot of the other boys were when he first started school. You can tell who has older brothers and who doesnt. With him being the oldest with a little sister there wasnt as much physical interaction. Sure there was some but not near what these boys were bringing to school. Its kindergarten I wouldnt worry about it.

Hey, who can blame him right? Girls ARE pretty awesome :)

My son is in pre-k still, but his bestie is a girl, and there is also a girl that I think he is sort of crushing on. I think at this age they still just play with whoever and dont think too much about it. I would not worry about it unless he comes home saying he is getting teased. Or you could ask his teacher if this is pretty typical or if she is seeing any teasing or anything unusual.

At five my son had only girl friends. He didn't get teased. Now he's seven he's developed friendships with boys too. If you're worried you could nurture some boy friends with play date invitations.

My GD who is in 1st grade, comes over every weekend and goes on and on about how she and her friends chased X (boy) at every recess, etc. The boys love to be chased by the girls and I don't think anyone teases them for it.

And if they do, tell him to just ignor it because before long ALL those boys are going to want to BE your son hanging out with the girls!

As long as he's not playing things like house or whatever, he'll be fine. I would just about bet that mostly what they are doing is chasing each other.

I always ask my GD what she is going to do if she catches X boy; she looks at me like I've lost my mind! Apparently catching them isn't the end game; just the chasing. LOL!

my daughter did the same with the boys
at pre-k at a party the table was segregated
all girls on one side
all boys on the other and emmy (and then eventualyl a little girl who begged to sit next to her and she said ok even though she wasnt too happy)

My nephew was and still is like this. He loved playing with all things girls at your son's age. Even now, at 12 and in his first year of Jr. High he is friends with mostly girls, but he does have a few boys that he is friends with...but for the most part he has had mostly ALL girls as friends his whole school career thus far...and he did get teased a little in the 4th grade but not a lot, nothing that warranted us getting worked up about.

~I say do not worry about it. As long as he is happy and healthy, I think he will be fine.

Most of the children my son plays with are girls and there are no issues. He will play with the boys as well, but most of the time prefers to play with girls. He has not been teased for it and I think playing with the girls has taught him ways to play more gently rather than always so rough :)

My son's best friend is a girl and not one person has ever made fun of him for it. Toy preference doesn't have anything to do with which gender he prefers to play with either. My daughter plays with Ninjago's with her brother.
Did someone say something to make you think that your son shouldn't play with girls?

Why does it matter? My best friend for a long time was a boy. My daughter's best friend is a boy. My son's best friends are girls. Why do we think that boys can only play with boys and girls only with girls? Eventually men and women have to work together. Many of the social skills we use as adults we learn as kids. If boys and girls played together more as kids, maybe there would be fewer gender issues with adults.

I'd encourage you to check out the web site Pigtail Pals and Ballcap Buddies. Melissa, who runs the site, is a HUGE advocate for letting kids be kids and is incredibly knowledgeable about gender issues with kids. I can guarantee that reading her blog will challenge your thinking about what society says kids should be like. I don't always agree with everything that she says, but I have a huge amount of respect for her. And she sells great t-shirts!

My daughter usually played with the boys probably because she had an older brother. Some of the moms teased me about it but my daughter was fine. She liked to play sports not girlie games and was never much interested in dolls (stuffed animals were different!). At 13 she has a lot of male friends as well as female friends. I think that's the best part of playing with the opposite sex at a young age. It becomes natural to have friends of both sexes. Don't worry about it.

Per your SWH - You said your boy is a talker and very imaginitive. I find that most girls are more like that and most boys a bit more rough and tumble.
Your boy is just fine playing with the girls. I bet in a couple of years you will be on here talking about first kisses and how to have the sex talk. lol
L.

Times have changed a lot since I was a kid...at least in my son's school. My son is now in 4th grade and he had been playing with a mix of boys and girls at recess since K. Never once has anyone teased him about it. He invites a mix of boys and girls to his birthday party too. This year he invited 3 girls and 5 boys. Only 1 of the girls could come but she fit right in and none of the boys had an issue.

I remember when I was a kid. My best friend was a boy 1 year older than me. We played together everyday until he went to K. Then he started telling me that I "had girl cooties" and he couldn't play with me any more. I was crushed. My son has never even heard the term "girl cooties".

I wouldn't worry about it. From the time he started preschool to this day (he's 11 now and in 6th grade) my oldest's best friends have always been girls, and he's never been teased about it. I remember in preschool, a little girl's mother pulled me aside and said that her daughter said "I's not like other boys.... he's nice!" As long as he's also willing to relate to the boys in his class, I'd say everything is fine.