My son turned 4 in May. He has been potty trained since he turned 2. For about 6-8 months he was accident free day and night. Then he started having a few drops of pee in his pants throughout the day. Over the last 8 months to a year this has gotten progressively worse. He is having pee accidents daily now. He always goes poop on the potty without any problems, but pee is another story - he won't tell anyone and it is like pulling teeth to get him to go. I have tried getting upset, or disappointed, rewarding him or just ignoring it. Nothing works. I think he wants to be in control. I know he can tell me, and that he knows when he has to go. I just don't know how to get him to tell me and not wet his pants. Any suggestions would be great. I am at a total loss!
Hi T. -
You didn't say what he does when he wets himself. Do you change him right away? You are right, it is a control issue. I had to let my son walk around in his wet pants for a few days before he would tell me or go to the potty on his own.
Good luck,
M.
Hi T.!!!
My daughter had almost the same problem when she was young.so our chiropractor had to adjust her a little differently. After a few adjustments, the problem stopped! Maybe you should think about giving it a try...
Good luck!!!!!
Take him to his pediatrician and have him checked out. He may refer you to a urologist, but it makes sense to rule out anything physical before assuming he is using this as a control issue. Once you have determined there is no physiological cause, perhaps having him experience the "consequence" of wet pants might be the best solution. If he wets his pants and you you are on the way to the playground--well, he wears the pants he wet. Once it interferes with his life--and not yours, the control issue is no longer germane. Good luck. He will stop wetting his pants. They all do!
does he have any pain? maybe doesn't want to go because it is burning and only goes when he absolutely can't hold it anymore
The fact that this has gotten worse over the months makes me wonder if there may be something medically wrong. Starting with a few drops does not sound like a power thing. (I'd make sure it was really not something physical.)
But, maybe it has developed into a power thing. Neufeld (Canadian child psych I admire) says counterwill is real. Counterwill is not intrinsically bad....it is natural. The solution may lie more in repairing the stressed (it sounds like) relationship with your son.
If there was no professional help available I would be tempted to go back (allow regression...unconditional love and acceptance) to pull ups (if son is ok with it) and make no big deal over these accidents and let him re-establish control.
As parents we find it hard to see regression in all sorts of behavior...but it is a fact of life, for kids and adults. Other life stressors may be adding to the mix. I would think your son wants to know you are there for him.
Check out Neufeld, (Hold onto Your Kids, Why Parents should Matter More Than Peers)for a less confrontational view of parenting than most books published today.
http://www.squidoo.com/PottyTrainedIn1-3Days-Review
I just got this and it seems wonderful, I did not have luck with my 6 year old and I will not fail with my 2 year old I am going to do it in 3 days... I'll post how it goes... Good luck, dlm
Express confidence in him and let him go when he will. If he has an accident, he needs to do the washing for that load. (Yes, he can with your help - and probably won't want to, which is the point.) He should also be the one to bring the extra clothing when you go somewhere - he has to carry it. If he doesn't want to take the extra clothing or do the extra load, tell him that there can't be any accidents. Now, this is all dependent on it not being a physical issue, which I assume is true because of the time he did it with no problem.
Hi, Your son may have a medical issue. Something similar happened with my nephew. He had a bladder weakness and he eventually grew out of it. I recommend taking your son to a doc. Also, try not to make a big deal with him about the leakage so that he doesn't feel shame about it. Good luck.
After ruling out anything medically wrong, check to see if he is getting enough attention - specifically 1 on 1 time. My Kids do "bad" things when they aren't feeling like they are getting enough of my or my husband's attention (which is very hard!). The Chiropractor worked for my sister, too.
Good Luck!
Try for absolutely no emotion when he wets himself. And put him back in diapers or whatever so that he doesn't drive you crazy. Tell him why without getting emotional or attempting to manipulate and guilt him. It's just a fact- if you wet yourself, Mommy can't always be putting you in dry clothing. Then say, "When you decide to take yourself"- and he should be taking himself(does Dad model?-very helpful)-"you will be able to go back to regular briefs like other little boys." Make sure to give lots of positive attention unconnected to this issue. Any negative issues should be dealt with out of his hearing promptly.
Hi T.!
When I was reading your request I was immediately reminded of my own situation with my son who is now 8 years old. He was potty trained by the age 2, but within a year he started randomly pooping his pants, and I too thought it might be some sort of control issue. Then one night when he was in the first grade he had such bad stomach pains I had to rush him to Urgent Care. After examining him they discovered he was 'COMPACTED'. I was mortified. All that time he was having accidents it was truly not his fault. He couldn't control it! Learn from my mistake and don't assume your child is doing something out of "control". He may need some medical attention. Please rule that out asap so that if it is not something medical, you can start looking other places. If he doesn't have anything going on medically, let him start hanging out in those wet pants so that he feels uncomfortable for a while -- natural consequences are usually the best learning tool for kids. I feel for you! Hang in there and don't worry...this won't last forever. Good luck!
A.
(SAHM of 3 boys and another boy on the way!)
