4 Year Old Prefers Me!

Hubby needs to dive in and make himself a part of those routines. If he does that, then eventually he'll be such a fixture that your child will go to each of you equally.

This is very normal though. Your husband shouldn't take it personally. Mom represents security, care and comfort for small children. It's nothing against dads, this just happens to be what moms were built for. It's nature. I hope he can come to see that soon.

My daughter went through a phase like that as well. I worked in a preschool and she came with me. So I was with her for the most part. At that time my husband was traveling for work as well. She only wanted me to give her a bath, me to read stories, etc. She eventually grew out of it. I remember saying one night, "Mommy needs a little break so daddy is going to read your story tonight. But I will be back to kiss you good night and tuck you in." She whined a bit but was fine with it.

Hang in there!

talk to your son... they go through phases like that, or because 1 parent may be stricter than the other, or the child feels that they other parent is not as nurturing nor understands them....
And ultimately, kids do feel more comfy with their Mom.
Its natural.
But... since your son is older... maybe ask him 'why' because it hurts Daddy's feelings. But your Hubby, should not make him feel bad about it... nor treat him negatively because of it... remember, he is ONLY a child. The adult is not the child.

But, point out to your son what "family" is. And you both love him etc.

Or, some kids feel that the other parent is a competition for them, for Mommy's attentions. Its a phase. But still, talk with your son about it.
No matter what the cause may be. Or it is just developmental based.
My kids, sometimes prefer me... because, I am around them more... and they say "Mommy is cozy..." kind of thing and 'Daddy is strict..." not that I am not.. .but he is seen differently than they see me. But I always talk to them about not ignoring Daddy... because it hurts his feelings... and he has his own way.... but I also give my Husband 'tips' on dealing with them. More of a 'woman' thing.... but kids NEED to bond with their Dad too.

And, your Husband should just try and participate in the routines... not in a forced way, but in a laid back way. Maybe his 'style' of things tweaks your son??? And, boys need to know that expressing themselves is good... and that they can.... they don't have to be all 'strong and silent' types... nor be stoic. Maybe your son does not feel comfortable with Daddy because he can't express himself with Daddy? Can your Husband express himself in a nurturing way? Boys need that too.

Many reasons 'why' your son is doing that. But it often happens in children, it being a phase. So talk to your son, find out why... or teach him about feelings and that it makes Daddy feel left out. Teach him 'empathy' and caring....
I taught my son that since he was 2-3 years old. He will actually know if someone has hurt feelings and go and tell them "I care about you...." if they feel bad.
A child has to be 'taught' those things.

Your Husband sure, he feels left out. But he is the 'adult' and should not feel at odds with his son... nor hold it against him. Your son is the child.

Maybe talk about it ALL TOGETHER... nicely and calmly. So your son understands about feelings... and that he can say how he feels and in conjunction with others.

good luck, just some ideas,
Susan

We had this problem with our son, he preferred Daddy to always read his stories at bedtime. Result was that our daughter never got stories with Daddy and I never got to do stories/bedtime with him. Lots of struggles over this. Here is what we did: we made a "rule" that we would trade off ever other night...so one night I would read stories to my son and the other night to my daughter and my husband would do likewise. It stopped the arguments and allowed me and my son bedtimes together. We still have occasions where he specifically wants daddy (or sometimes me!!), depending on the situation we capitulate but it has worked well.

This is a tough one and its hard not to take it personally:) it will pass but it seems endless when you are in it!

my son is the same...he is 3 1/2, for a long time daddy worked nights and he went to daycare, so i was the main caretaker. then recently, daddy started staying home with him during the day so they "bond" all day long, so when i get home, it's STILL all about me lol. we have always encouraged our son to show affection, to think of others' feelings, "daddy looks a little sad, why don't you go give him a hug?" and he is super good about giving some love. he loves his dad, and so does your child. dad just has to be patient, and be there. they will go through stages of perferring one parent over the other, so dad will get his chance. does he do "guy" things with him that you don't really like, like fishing, i don't know, working on the car, etc? might be fun for them. but if they're spending time together and it goes well then it doesn't sound like there's "too" much of a problem, even if it is frustrating for dad.

Perfectly normal for a 4 year old to want mommy time. You are still the center of the child's universe. If Daddy wants the attention, Daddy needs to keep being involved and not push it. It will happen.