My 4 year old daughter is extremely hyper and fidgety and does not follow directions because she gets side tracked easily. She also gets words mixed up like saying inside is outside, red is blue, up is down and vise versa. I've worked with her a lot and explained the difference but she has always done this. She has a hard time retaining information. There are only a few things she does that will hold her attention for longer than 1 minute. I've talked to her pediatrician about it who didn't seem concerned and said to wait until she was in school, I'm searching for another doctor now to get a 2nd opinion. Any ideas what going on with her or suggestions to help? Thanks in advance!
To further explain:
She has been getting words mixed up for about a year, this is nothing new. She will say "I want to go inside and play" (meaning outside). I explain the difference and a few minutes later she does it again. I've had a hard time teaching colors to her, she does know some but gets confused easily. I've even had "a color week" where everything that week is one color, like only wearing blue, coloring with blue crayons, and pointing out things that are blue. I can ask her what color she's wearing and she says I don't know. I try not to show my frustration because it only makes it worse. She gets easily frustrated when she gets it wrong, I tell her its ok and she says it's not, I feel so bad for her. I have 3 children, she is the oldest at 4, then a 2 year old and 10 month old. We live off of a schedule for both my sanity and hers. Structure seems to help because when we do something out of the norm she has a hard time dealing with it. She is extremely good at coloring, colors inside the lines and will sit and color for hours, but she is constantly moving while doing it. I've had to start locking her in a booster seat because she would not sit and eat. I can tell her every minute to eat and she will say ok then forget and run off. She has also started acting out, she will hit her little brothers for no reason and when I ask why she says she doesn't know. I get the deer in the headlight look a lot when asking her stuff. She used to know her ABC's and 123's but when I ask her or sing with her she says she doesn't know. We read a lot (or try to anyway) but she will not sit still. She has also started waking up several times in the middle of the night wide awake and has a hard time falling back to sleep. She was always a great sleeper but for the past 3 months has been waking. She is also wetting the bed a lot, she has been potty trained since 2 and recently this has become an issue, I'm not sure if this is a common thing with ADHD.
Thanks for the info so far, I will contact Child Find here in Las Vegas. I did contact the school district but was informed that because of budget restraints that unless she is declared to have a severe deficiency she most likely will not be eligible for Pre-K and to look for private help but I'm not sure we will be able to afford that :(
My niece is the same way. When she went to Pre-K at the school, nothing changed. First grade, still happening and worse now. (She's 6, 7 in December) and just got diagnosed with ADD.
You basically have two options. The first is to contact your local school district and have her evaluated by their "Child Find" department. Early intervention works with kids from birth to 3 and the school district works with kids from age 3 and on. They will evaluate her to determine if she's "delayed" and if she needs services. Services are free. Where I'm at, you can self-refer - which means all you need to do is call and make an appointment. You don't need a referral from your pediatrican. Your pediatrician's office wil have the number or you can get it from your local elementary school.
Your second and considerably less "free" option is to look for a developmental pediatrician. They have different/a lot more specific training than a regular pediatrician that focuses specifically on development. You can sometimes find an independent one or you can call your nearest teaching or children's hospital and they should be able to help you find one. I don't know where you are at, but if you are in Las Vegas, I can give you info on who is here. The two best resources I know of here are Dr. Johana Fricke (a developmental pediatrician) and Dr. Cavanagh at Touro University Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities. She's a psychologist and she has a lot of experience working with very young children.
My 6 year old has autism and is extremely hyperactive. And I work for Early Intervention. I can tell you from lots of experience that no matter what is going on with your daughter, she'll be better of if you can identify the problem and start working on it sooner rather than later. I think waiting until she's school age is not a good idea. The reason that there are program designed for kids before school age is because they work and kids who receive support sooner rather than later tend to do better in the long run. Also if you can help her now, it is less likely to cause her to have problems with her self-esteem and a hard time making friends later on.
Good luck,
T.
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Just one thing that I wanted to say... My chiropractor mentioned that sometimes these type symptoms stem from children's bodies being out of line. Sometimes they just need some adjustments made. It would be worth getting her looked at. It would be a lot better if a simple alinement would help her vs. having to be on some of the medication they prescribe these days. My friend in HS was diagnosed with ADHD (and probably misdiagnosed) and they put her on Riddlin. She gained vast amounts of weight over a short period of time and struggled for a long time to get rid of it.
Updated
Hi,
I would be firm with the doctor and request for her to be tested. What if you were homeschooling her and you were noticing a difference between her and other children her age. You don't have to wait for her to be in school for her to be tested!!! I would suggest that if you don't care to change pediatricians you do it then, if not just be firm with him and tell him you want this done ASAP.
You know your child better than any doctor, and you know when there is a problem or something doesn't seem right. The sooner the better for her to get tested and get the help she needs. Maybe she just needs help at home, but it's better to be save than sorry.
Best to you and your little one
My son is almost 4 and gets things tossed up sometimes too. Colors mixed like blue and green, etc. He goes through hyper spurts but that is mostly when he has a small sucker or some fruit snacks which I try to limit most of the junk food like that to only a few times a week. I really think at this age, it's normal behavior. They have so much information going into their little brains at this age with learning new things, how to play with others. And don't forget they are growing too!!
Don't make a big deal when she said inside instead of outside. Just softly correct her and move on. Same with colors and anything else she gets jumbled up. I agree with her ped to just wait till she starts school. There is too much pressure on children these days to preform like little adults and when they do the slightest thing wrong, they get labeled with a learning disorder.
Good luck
S.
My son is 5, and it sounds like him, and he was diagnosed with ADHD. He is on medication, and he is improving tremendously! Unfortunately, it's hard to find a Dr. who wants to diagnose if they aren't in school already, to get a teacher's view, but I'm sure there are some out there. It sounds like her mind is going faster than her mouth can speak it, so she's getting jumbled up. If your Dr. keeps blowing it off, I would definetely get a 2nd opinion. It's frusterating as a mom to sit there and see them be that way, and feel so helpless, especially when this is such an important time to learn, and if their minds are going 100m.p.h. they aren't catching all the important info. Best wishes and keep us updated!!
My preschooler has the same issues. His preschool teacher has already indicated that she thinks he's most likely ADHD but would prefer to have us wait until he starts Kindergarten in the fall for a proper diagnosis. His pediatrician said the same thing. Meanwhile, he's getting frustrated, my hubby and I are frustrated and "homework" time is a nightmare. We have to repeat ourselves literally six times or more to get him to focus on a task. He literally WANTS to be focused but he just can't...
I've read the responses you were given here and I had just assumed (after talking with his preschool teacher and the doctor) that we HAD to wait for a certified teacher to indicate that he/she thought he was ADHD. I had no idea we should keep pursuing it until someone listened. It just seemed to make sense to me at the time.
I'm so glad that I read your question/answers and wish you luck. I know how exhausting it can be to work with your child when there is this type of issue. God bless them....we love our kids dearly....but every moment of motherhood is not all happiness and rainbows and sunshine, ya know. Try to keep your patience and try to understand her situation too (this works about 50/50 of the time for me LOL). BTW, I've heard from several people that most children with ADHD are generally highly intelligent but just have so much trouble maintaining their focus.
My 4 year old was just diagnosed with ADHD. It is possible to diagnose this young. If you have insurance call your company to see if you need a pediatrician's referral in order to see a child psychologist and/child psychiatrist. If you do need a referral and your doc won't give you one, I'd absolutely change to a new pediatrician. When I was trying to teach my daughter her letters I would show her the flashcard, say this is "A," have her trace it with her finger, repeat the name of the letter etc. I would then put it behind my back for one second, show it to her again and she would say "I don't know." So I know exactly what you mean about retaining info. I found it disturbing because she is actually extremely smart. She is also hyperactive, distractible and has a super low frustration tolerance. We are just getting the results of her evaluation that was done by the school district on Monday. Never thought I'd be praying my daughter would be eligible for special ed! Where we live kids can be evaluated before kindergarten so that they are "already in the system" and receive help immediately as opposed to "waiting and seeing" how they do in grade school.
Good luck. Email me if you have questions!
My son, now 11 was daignosed with ADHD in 1st grade - doctors are not comfortable diagnosing this any earlier as many kids just mature out of it. But to me it sounds classic ADHD. Don't get upset - I did initially and have found that kids are all wired differently. Your kid is just not ready to sit still - she may never be - so you have to wrk around that & find her strengths. Some of the most successful and creative people have ADD. I work with a sales guy who makes close to a million a year and he's classic ADHD and was as a kid. You have to find her learning style and then work with that. She may also be a kid who cannot learn while sitting still. i was convinced my son would never learn his alphabet or read. So we worked on ABC's while he jumped up and down, spelled sight words as we threw a ball back & forth to each other. As he got older he'd run around the house in between spelling sentences. He used to do his homework standing up at the kitchen table. Get the book called "A mind at a time" by Dr. Mel Levine - but he has a few different books about how kids learn and their styles. Your child will frustrate some teachers - but if you'll find other teachers will be a blessing in your life when they appreciate her for who she is. You have to be your hcild's advocate - speak up for her. Praise the teachers who are good with her - even to the principal. Be a positive force. You may also find that she will have language based learning disabilities - it means their mind has a tough time processing language skills for some reason it's common with ADHD kids. My son still has a tough time - but he has come a very far way and now reads at the low end of his grade level - but he's a genius at math and spacial perception so he has the potential to be a great engineer or mathematician. Since 1st grade he's been able to make Lego & K'nex creations way beyond his age range - so we encouraged him and praised his creations. His teacher allowed him to bring in these huge amazing creations for show and tell. Push your school district for services early on - my son's kindergarten teacher was horrible - and we missed a whole year. His 1st grade teacher picked up on his difficulties and needs right away and we got him services for speech, reading, help "attending" or paying attention within a few months - and the difference was astounding. Not sure how it works in your state but there are federal laws governing special ed for kids - and if you make a written request to your school asking for your child to be evaluated they have to respond within 60 days. Even if the district can't afford to provide the services if they test your child and you find out her areas of need you can work with her. There is a lot of help online. There are different kinds of intelligence - schools only teach and measure language & math skills - but there are others such as spacial perception (to perceive things in 3-d, like engineers), personality skills (getting along with and knowing how to deal with people), athletics, arts & music, etc. So while your child may be a fidgity kid who can't sit still and has problems reading or remembing things, she may have other skills that will bring her far in life. If you can figure our her learning style you will be able to help her learn. Find out what she's good at and ask her to help you with those things so she has a sense of accomplishment instead of knowing she's disappointing her mom. Our minds mature at different rates - some kids learn colors at age 3 and others might not until 7 or 8 but they've developed other areas at age 3. Find out where her strengths lie and tell her you know that she will do well in those areas and praise her. She's probalby very perceptive and realizes that she's disappointing you - she just CAN'T sit still so requiring her to do so and strapping her in the booster seat makes her think you're mad at her sets her up for failure. But she sees your not "mad" at the little ones - which is why she's hitting them. We moms have a really tough time figuring out our kids when they're not like us or the other kids. My oldest daughter is brilliant and lazy - everything came easy to her - so my son was an enigma to me - took me a w hile to figure out how to get the best out of him - and I'm still lacking. Throw away the mother-guilt and know that God's grace overcomes our mistakes as parent. Keep the faith, pray for your child - and she will respond - I promise. I know you'll do well with her. and take all the positive help you can get - give yourself a break too!
