My 3 yr old wants the family bed when it is time to go to bed. I have told him he is a big boy now and he needs to sleep in his own bed. Seems the only way I can get him to go to sleep is to read him to sleep which takes forever. Sometimes during the night we will come in and I let him cuz I desperately need the sleep. HELP...
Hi M.,
My daughter (who is 4) wakes me a few times a week (nightmares), which makes me crazy, but I've found that we all sleep better if I just go sleep in her bed...Not ideal, but there it is. Good luck.
Just say no. If you don't want him in your bed, you just can't let him keep coming in. It's like getting a baby to sleep. Set a routine and stick to it. It will get easier.
We let our young ones start in our bed (before we go to bed), and then move them into their own beds when we are ready to turn in. Since they get to start in our bed, we aren't "trapped" into reading forever because it's a nice, safe environment already.
As far as middle of the night guests, we keep a sleeping bag and pillow on the floor next to our bed for "travelers" to occupy. This takes a bit of training. You might practice a couple times during the day how to walk from their bed to the little bed on the floor, how to tuck themselves in quietly, etc, and the rule of not waking parents. :) Then when it happens, be prepared to help them remember how to get in their new bed a couple times. These ideas worked great for all of our kids!
Maybe tell him he can only have one or two nights with you. Make it a reward. Tell him only on Sunday nights you get to sleep with us and if you come in any other night, you dont get Sunday fun night... My daugher is 9 and cant wait for Friday fun nights with us :-)
There is nothing inherantly wrong with a family bed. It's done in many cultures. If his being in your bed is interfering with your sleep, then definitely take steps, but if it's not really, then maybe it's not something to make a big deal of yet.
All of our kids co-slept; the two youngest started as infants (easier for nighttime nursing). Around 3 or 4, we started moving them into their own bed. Let him fall asleep in your bed, then move him. Then maybe you can move him just before he is asleep, and gradually work back that way. I like the idea of a blanket and pillow on the floor if he comes in the middle of the night, though I've usually let them in the bed.
The good news is he will mature past this point. My oldest (11) has slept in her own bed all night for years. My 8 year old rarely comes in and usually I just send him back to his bed (sometimes I walk with him, he sleepwalks and I want to make sure he makes it to bed) and the youngest (6) I can usually send back to bed after a few minutes. They all go to their own bed at bedtime except in rare occaisons when they "don't want to go to bed" and letting them use our bed is an extra way to get them to sleep (before we go to bed). Of course, when they are sick, we relax the rules and they can stay with us all night if necessary.
