Oh Moms...I need some advice. I have 3 boys (13, 5 and 3). My 3 yr old is very smart and at times seems to know more than his 5 yr old brother. He is a very typical 3 yr old in wanting to do everything himself and getting frustrated when he can't get it done. Lately, he has taken to screaming, growling and sometimes hitting and kicking if he doesn't get his way. And let me tell you, he is LOUD! Here is an example of what happened yesterday. I do daycare and we were all getting ready to go outside. 3 yr old decided he was going to try to climb on the railing of the deck. As he was pulling himself up, I told him to get down. He didn't, so I got him down, he got a timeout, I explained that is very dangerous and he is in timeout because he didn't get down when told. He proceeded to scream for a good 15 minutes while all the other kids were waiting to play in the back yard. His antics are not always dangerous it could be about nap time, candy, tv, sitting in his brothers car seat. It just always ends in screaming if he doesn't get his way!!
So, I am wondering what other Moms do? What things have worked for your screaming 3 yr old? Thank you!!
I put him down in timeout and get a beer.
Just kidding.
I'm in the midst of it myself. I've got nothing new to offer besides sympathy.
Good luck.
Yes I've been there too. It took several tries but every time my son would throw a tantrum I would try a different approach each time to find one that work for my DS. Each child responds differently and what may work for some, doesn’t work for others.
At age 3 they are still trying to figure out their place. They cannot grasp age differences so when he sees his older siblings doing something he can’t I’m sure it’s confusing. Also he is likely trying to assert some control.
I can tell you what worked for me. If my DS wanted to climb on something that was dangerous I would look at him in the eye and say “That is dangerous but I can see you want to climb on something. Why don’t we go outside and you can climb up the slide instead of using the stairs”
That seem worked because I wasn’t just trying to take away what he wanted to do but giving him another option.
If he wanted a sweet treat I would say “It’s almost time for dinner. You can have it after you’ve eaten a healthy meal.” If he persisted I would repeat what I said and end it with “If you continue to ask you will not get a treat at all”. In the beginning when he would persist even further he would not get the treat and I would follow through with what I said. Eventually he got it and took No for an answer the first time.
When I would talk to my DS I would talk to him as if he was the same age as my older child and not like he was “only 3” if that makes sense. Sometimes just giving them choices, compromising and relating to their frustration gives them that little bit of control they are craving.
Another thing was ALWAYS tell him beforehand what to expect. He loved knowing what was going to happen and what was expected of him. It gave him a chance to prepare.
Just keep trying different approaches. You WILL find one that works!!
I am there with you :) I don't know who coined terrible twos...but I really think it ought to be the time-out threes! Ugh! My daughter does the same thing and ends up in a few time outs a day. If she keeps screaming, we run the timeouts for her timeout period beyond when the screaming stops -- meaning the time out does not start till she stops screaming but she has to sit there the whole time anyway. We also, other than putting her in time out, ignore her once she is there. That seems to stop the screaming faster. Good luck and if you find something that works-- PLEASE SHARE! :)
Hi A.
I am quickly learning to my dismay that three is a way more difficult than the twos.
My son seems to be alot more head strong,he can now talk back etc .
I am still using time out which seems to work for the most part and I am trying to stay sane for the rest of the time.
Sorry for no practical suggestions.Just letting you know that you are not alone.
B.
not the perfered way, and obviously cant' do this in front of other kids, but i'd throw a tantrum just as big if not worse...that made my daughter stop because she was shocked to see mommy throwing a fit like that...didn't take long for her to stop after that
although that's probably not the best solution (she's an only child)
something you could try is start time out as soon as the tantrum's start, then explain that the clock will start as soon as tantrum stops (child sitting quietly) and for every minute spent throwing tantrum is 1 minute in time out...say then child gets quiet then starts back up then the clock stops until the child is quiet again....i've done that on a few kids....can take hours, but the point is they eventually stopped and decided to listen
Here is some great expert advice here:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp
if you scroll down to 'bothersome behavior' some of these topics are mentioned directly
