My son just turned 3 and has an almost 3 month old sister. Since she was born, he has shown little or no interest at all in her. For the most part, he acts like she isn't even there. Is this normal and at some point will he show 'interest'?
I'm trying some of the suggestions like 'speaking' for the baby and doing more to try to engage him. Also when she smiles at him I make a big deal out of it so he will find it exciting and want to look at her more. Seems to be working. Maybe when she gets a bit older and can actually 'do' more, he'll really be interested.
babies are boring. He'll probably get interested in her when she does more than eat, sleep, and poop. :-)
Think of how you'd feel if your husband brought home a new wife. Would you want to go get a mani-pedi with her, hangout at the mall - or would you ignore her and hope she went way? Now realize your son is 3. He doesn't understand that most people grow up in a family with siblings. All he knows is that this noisy little creature has taken up alot of his attention, all the company and family who come to visit oooh and ahh over the baby and not over him any more, etc. My neice told my sister that God got it wrong and brough ther the wrong baby and to bring him back to the hospital. My daughter, as much as she was interested in her brother was pretty annoyed with him. Don't force him to interact with her. Make sure you spend time with him away from baby. He'll come around. The daywill come when he'll be defending her to you - and will take her side. I promise you.
Totally normal!
Once she starts to interact with him more, he'll perk up.
Mine are 2.5 and 7mos. Once the 7mos was smiling and squealing and all that, DS would start "showing her" his toys and giving her some to play with. He loves to bounce her in her exersaucer, etc...
It'll come.
For the first few months, all mine did was ignore the baby as well.
It'll come with time. A few things I did to help my son adjust was to really involve them with each other. Ask him to help get her wipes or soap or whatever you need him to hand you. Show him what you're doing when you bath/change/feed her. Also, have her sit with you when you watch him play toys or ball....tell him that she is so proud of him and she loves watching her big brother. Lots of stuff like that. Don't force it, but keep it all very positive and uplifting for him. My kids are now 4.5 and 2, and they are best friends! I don't know if I had anything to do with that or not, but I think that starting young with lots of praise and encouragement helps! Good luck!
Our son was three when his sister was born. He was less than thrilled. One time she was crying and he told us to take her back and get another one that wasn't so noisy! I think babies can be pretty boring to little kids (esp. boys) until they actually start doing things and can interact more.
In some ways you probably should be grateful. My 3 year old is obsessed with his baby brother (5 months) and is constantly kissing him, hugging him, letting him suck on his fingers! and as a consequence the baby has had a cold since he was 6 weeks old. Preschool germs and babies are a terrible combination! It warms my heart that he loves the baby, but it really makes me feel terrible for my little one who is CONSTANTLY battling a fresh cold.
Probably. My son was about 3 when his little sister was born. He was curious the first day (not super curious, mind you... but more "so THAT is why mommy was gone for a day. Hmmm. Can I have a snack now? Actually, he brought her a flower when we came in the door from the hospital, and he looked at her some. lol) But there was virtually no interaction. I mean... what is there for him to do? They're babies! They don't DO anything, lol. Even if they are handed a toy, they just drop it for the first couple of months.
When your baby starts to sit up some, and be able to hold things, and be mobile, things should pick up.
Mine are 21 months apart and I always sound like an idiot when i'm alone with them...from Day 1 i've always had the baby "talk" to her big brother. I do this stupid high pitched voice and talk for her, asking him to show "me" his toys, how high he can jump, help change my diaper, asking to show me how to walk and crawl, etc. My boy eats it up and adores his sister because she's like a friend he can show off to now. She is in awe of him and giggles at him non-stop (she's 7 months and he's 2.5 now). He also likes to give her rides on his shoulder--I hold her on his shoulders and we all run around the house, all giggling like crazy the hold time. Instead of trying to make HIM excited to be around the baby, maybe pretend like the baby can't contain her excitement in being with her big brother.
Oh man- I don't even like 3 month old babies :) They're really boring and needy. I'd love to fast forward to 6 months with my next baby if I could! Your son will come around once his sister has a little more personality. Nothing flatters a preschooler more than getting a baby to giggle at him. When she starts sittiing up and smiling in his direction, he'll be ready to do anything to get her to grin! In the meantime, make sure your one on one time with him is quality, focused time. Put in as much energy as your sleep deprived body can muster. And on days when you are to exhausted to give him special attention, try asking granddad or a fun aunt to come play just with him, and then talk about what fun he had afterwards. As with all baby related problems, give it time :)
Every kid is different. My son was 2 years 10 months when his sister was born, so about the same age difference as yours. My son was very verbal and vocalized "You used to have more time for me before she was born." We talked a lot about it...and I empathized with him and made it a point to have as much one on one time as I could with him when his sister slept. (And yes...it was exhausting for a year or so but totally worth it.) Your son is surely missing the time alone with you. From the time she was born, I referred to her as "your best friend" when talking to my son. It worked. They're now 11 & 14, and my son's now asking my daughter for advice on girls he's interested in. They have each other's backs in a way I could have only imagined. It's so awesome. I can't imagine one without the other. The bond is phenomenal. You've just got to put in the time now to help them build the bond. Don't buy into the myth that sibling have to fight...help them to be friends. It's so totally worth it. Just keep reminding your son now how much you love him. He may not be able to express what he's feeling, but if you show him extra love, he'll come around soon.
Yes,he will, I do not know how long it will be.
Maybe he doesn't think he can relate to her. She is after all a girl .....(GASP!!!)
Get her a "boy toy" that they can play with together. And involve her in some of the playtime with your son. My husband and I have a family playdate at least twice a week that we all play together. Eventhough our 2 month old can't really do anything, our 3 year old still plays with her because we're all on the floor as a family. She is bonding with her sister nicely, but it did take some work get the two to play together. She's come a long way from when we first came home with the baby. (She wanted the baby to go back into Mommy's belly. LOL!!)
Good luck!!
My son is 3 and he can't leave his sister alone. He's tried to play "catch" with her (she's 4 months old) which resulted in them both crying. I wish there was a happy medium!
Try to give your son some responsibilities so he has to get involved with her. I'll make up errands for my son to help him feel important. I probably over-exaggerate what a big help he is when he does something that I ask, like bring me a burp cloth or throw away the dirty diaper, but I think it's working because he loves to brag to people that he is my big helper.
I saw someone else posted that they speak for the baby, I do that too! If she drops a toy I'll ask my son to give it back to her, then I'll say "thanks big brother" in a little squeaky voice. Or sometimes when she's fussy, I'll tell him it's because she misses him, so he'll come over & hug her or do a silly dance for her - and sometimes it actually works! Also I tell him what a lucky baby she is to have him for a big brother. I know I'm totally playing on his ego, but so far it seems to be working.
He's had his moments where he wishes he didn't have a baby sister that cries at night and wakes him up, or he wishes she was a boy. I don't tell him not to say things like that, I just remind him that when she gets bigger she will be more fun and she'll be able to play with him.
