How to Help Son with up Coming Birth of Sibling

My daughter was 2.5 when the baby was born, and shes now 3 and the baby is 5 months old and she is still not sure she likes her.

My advice is dont push it.

Also make sure that close friends and family when they come to see the baby that they pay attention to the older brother first....it makes them feel better. We also bought my daughter a big sister present from her new sister, it can be anything that they are into at the moment. It also helped that we took the oldest to the store before the baby was born and she picked out a little toy to give her sister. She was proud that she picked it out by herself. I am hoping that when they are able to have more fun together (later on this year) that the big sister will enjoy having someone to play with.

Good luck and don't push him to love the new addition right away, he will with time.

Just went threw this last year. While my son didn't say those things( but he was 5) he wanted nothing to do with a little sister. If I would try to talk about it with him, he would walk away or ignore me. If someone else would ask me any questions about the new baby he would try to destract me, or do something wrong right when they asked. We tried everything. Nothing was seeming to work. Finally we tried a big brother present. We told him that when the baby was born, the baby was going to bring him a surprise. After hearing that he couldn't wait for the baby to be born.The hardest part for us was when the baby was born. So we made sure that if someone was bringing the baby presents, they brought him something also. Nothing big, just little toys or candy. My husband also made sure that after the baby was born my son and him went on big brother outtings everyday for the first 2 weeks. Alittle tirering for me, but very important for the boy. After the two weeks were up,we lessend it little by little as the weeks went on. Still to this day we "try" to have a outing with just us and him, no baby. Every couple of months or so. I truely feel slow and steady is the best way to get a young child use to the newest edition. Now I am happy to say my son loves doing things for the baby most of the time. She's also getting to the age where she can start to play, so that makes it alittle more fun for him. Good luck.

I once read that telling the older child "how lucky the baby is to have him as a big brother" really gives the older child a sense of pride--switches focus to them. Tried it and think it works. Also, buy a toy he will like and have the baby "give" it to him when the baby is born. Sometimes not opening new gifts for baby in front of the older child helps too--all the focus seems to be directed toward the baby and the older one can resent it. It is so neat to see the kindness between an older sibling and a younger one---not obvious every moment but a really beautiful thing to see.

My boys are 15 months apart and the 2nd and 3rd will be exactly 2 years apart. When the baby comes keep a close eye on him. I was at Target and saw a kid maybe 3 or 4 grabbing his baby brother's head and pressing on his soft spot. I understand kids get jealous when they are no longer in the spotlight but the mother, who was taling on the phone and shopping seemed to not even care when I told her. Since you are seeking advice, I'm assuming you're not like this mother. My boys are 3 and 1 1/2 and they still argue and hit, but they miss each other liike crazy when they are not around. Just make sure you keep an eye on him when baby comes, and I'm assuming this is going to be an ongoing thing....maybe for the next 30 years!!
ALSO, we read a book 2 nights ago called "Julius The Baby of the World." It is about a little girl in the same situation your son is in!

Hi S.,
You've gotten some great advice. I want to second (and third) the advice about acknowledging your son first when people come to visit (and even asking about "his" baby . . .gives him ownership) as well as the small gift. I never understood this until my 2nd was born and saw how many gifts the baby was getting and how thoughtful it was for friends to think of my older son.

Also, we stressed the importance of only having "soft toys" around the baby. You wouldn't imagine how many times my older son was holding a large truck over the baby's head to "show him his toys" I nearly had a heart attack.

Along with that, we waited a long time for him to be able to touch the baby anywhere but the baby's feet. He was fascinated with his baby brother's eyes. So, the rule was that he could touch the baby's feet as much as he wanted, but that was the only part . .. until he really got the hang of soft touch and being gentle.

Being a big brother is an important role . . .we stressed that as well. And what a big deal it was that HE got a new baby brother.

Anyway, best of luck on your upcoming birth. Its a very exciting time!
B.

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. The oldest is a boy and the youngest a girl. I was really worried about my son feeling left out. I think you just have to make sure that you spend time with him right now without talking about the baby. Maybe dad can spend some extra special boy time with him. I had asked everyone to pay special attention to him first when they came to see the new baby, and tell him what a great big brother he was going to be. After I brought the baby home, I made sure that I let him help with her. I breast fed, so he couldn't feed her, but changing the diapers I would ask him to get the wipes and diapers and made sure that I told him how good of a job he was doing. I think if you make it about him it will be different because that is really the only person he can think about right now. He may be feeling like everything is about the baby and he is being left out. Make him feel very special.

maybe you could see if the hospital offers a sibling class. I did that with my daughter and she loved it

I just had a baby, and was very worried about how my daughter, 17 months, would react. When I was in the hospital, I made sure I wasn't holding the baby when she came in the room. Also, the visitors all had gifts for both kids. I allowed my daughter to open the babies presents and show them to her.

As we approach the 4th week, we are still transitioning. I try to spend as much alone time with my oldest as possible. We go to the store whenever my husband is available to watch the baby.

Obviously it will take awhile for him to adjust. I would recommend doing anything you can to help him feel important.