3 Year Old Behavior Change-

Very normal phase at that age. It is called " Magic Phase" , shadows become monsters, witches and goblins and ghosts are so real, some kids become scared of everything. They will outgrow it eventually.

Our son is doing the same thing and he is 3. We now feel that he needs us and needs the security and so we lay with him to get him to bed. At first we thought.. no we do not want to have to lay with him to go to sleep because we will never get him out of that habbit, but we looked at it in a different way and now do it. His days at daycare are a little better because he is getting better sleep. With my son, if the story is the same a few times over, it generally is true if it changes then we know he is "fibbing" with us. Good luck

I agree with the posters who say this is not about him controlling you or trying to manipulate you. It's your son dealing with genuine (for him) fears and anxieties -- and as such, it's your job to make every effort to understand what's going on and to make him feel safe and secure and help him through this phase (and it sounds like you're doing that).

I would definitely continue a dialog with him further to see if there is anything happening at school /daycare with other chidren as far as bullying, hitting,etc .

But it's also possible that all the Halloween decorations have started to frighten him -- as there can be some horrifying images on display that you might not even notice. Having walked into a Halloween store lately-- the bloodied ,slashed, chainsawed figures have practically given me nightmares. And there may be decorations he's passed while driving , or something he's accidentally seen on TV that has stoked his fears.

Otherwise, yes anxieties/fears increasing at this age are normal developmentally - and the nighttime drama would seem typical of that. Sounds like you're doing all the right things there (and I applaud your efforts as they sound exhausting!).

But It does seem more unusual that the crying and fears have begun to infiltrate his daytime routine-- to the extent that he's crying until you get there and clutching his teacher. I would talk to the teacher further to see what exactly is going on -- and if you can sit in and observe that would be great too.

But strongly disagree with the poster who suggests you take away a favorite toy or give a "light pop" (yikes!). Removing something that gives your child joy or a sense of security -- because they're afraid -- just seems cruel (as does a physical response).

He will not be three - or afraid -- forever. I would find some children's books to read to him about feeling afraid and overcoming those fears, talk to other parents in the class to see if they have any insights as to the environment there, and just know that this too shall pass. It sounds like you are a really patient and caring mom -- good luck with this!

I do think it is just a phase or him trying to manipulate but either way it doesn't matter which it is. What matters is that you are trying to find a solution. Good job Mom! lol. My daughter started with the whole I'm scared thing around 3 also and she would have the hardest time going to bed. For Christmas someone had given us the little bear that plays music and you can program it to say their name (forgot the name of the bear) but for a while this really helped. At night the bear would say "Goodnight London" and you could set it for 2, 5, or 10 minutes and she would be out very soon. Fast asleep. Lately though she now says she is afraid of the dark...so we have been leaving her door open to give her some light (we used to shut it) but know she gets out of her bed and we give her consequences rather than just putting her back in bed. We will take a favorite toy away or we have even done a "light pop" is it is excessive. She is almost 4 now so we have gotten rid of nap time during the day which makes her tired by time it is bed time. Its funny though, my 21 month old goes to bed better than my almost 4 year old. So i would say its a phase that you guys will have to work through and find the best solution. And you will know when they are manipulating you and then i think there should be consequences rather than accommodation.

I think this is about the same age when our son's imagination really intensified. He might have seen something on tv, it might have been something from a book, something a friend said or did, who knows. I don't think the exact cause is really that important. He's just looking for you to reassure him and help him fee safe.

I wouldn't think of this as a "controlling phase." He's not trying to control you, he's genuinely scarred. Reassure him. Help him feel safe. Sit with him as he falls asleep. You might want to really stay with him until he's asleep, just for a couple of days. Then you can begin saying, "I'm going to go put some clothes away, but I'll be right back," or "I need to put some dishes in the sink, then I'll be right back." Always come back! After doing this a couple of times, you'll come back to find him asleep.

Indulge him. He really is looking for you to make him feel safe. I thin you'll find the phase ending more quickly if you help to make him feel safe again,rather than deny his wishes and try to force him to be tough.

Has anything changed at his preschool? New class or new teacher or new afternoon routine? My firstborn used to literally freak out if he wasn't
"prepared" for a change in his life. He started crying and performing about going to daycare after 1 year of being perfectly happy there! I eventually realised that the problem was they'd moved him to a different "group" with a different teacher! I had to ask them to warn me in advance of them changing his teacher so that I'd have time to get him used to the idea! My daughter, on the other hand, always took change in her stride and it didn't faze her at all! Every child has different sensibilities and need. You just need to "play detective" and find out what is making him uncomfortable. Eventually this, too, shall pass like everything else so try not to stress too much! Best wishes