3 Month Old Does Not like Being Around People.

Updated on January 07, 2010
K.T. asks from Joliet, IL
12 answers

My 3 month old daughter doesn't like being around other people besides me and her dad. For example... we went over to my in-laws for Christmas. There was about 11 people there...all family. My daughter would not let anyone hold her or get near her and when they did she screamed and cried. It was nonstop crying for 4 straight hours. We had to leave cause I felt so bad for her. As soon as we got home she was fine. She was back to her happy self. Im worried because her grandmother will be watching her when I go back to work and I need her to be comfortable with other people. Is this normal? What can I do to help her get comfortable with other people?

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

Poor baby was probably completely overwhelmed, confused and frightened. If she has not been accustomed to being around a large number of people, with lots of noise, colors, and activities - she was simply overwhelmed and frightened and she was doing what babies do - cry. Sometimes babies will go to sleep when they are overwhelmed too. It's not a point of her being uncomfortable, just not used to that kind of environment. Start taking her out more or having people over to the house. She'll become more accustomed to being in different environments with different people. She's perfectly normal.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter was about 2.5 months at Christmas last year... she always did (and still does) go to everyone really easily, but suddenly at Christmas she turned into a clingy, whiney baby. I think it was just overwhelming for her to suddenly be around so many people all at once. It also could just be a phase. Don't know if that helps at all, but you'll find that things change a ton as the baby develops. Good luck!

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Founder and Contributor
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T.B.

answers from Chicago on

Try just having a visit from the grandmother who will be watching her (if she'll be coming to your house) or just the two of you go visit grandma's house (if that's where they'll be spending time). It was probably just too many people at once. She only needs to be comfortable with her babysitter for now, so don't worry about exposing her to lots of people at once. Good luck!

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi. I did not read all other posts, but my daughter was about that age her first xmas and I thought she had colic. I realized that it was all the choas and loud noise. She is now four and still covers her ears and hides or gets withdrawn when there is 'too much'. I just comfort her and try to make situations more comfortable. Good luck.

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D.H.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with all of the advise posted thus far. Another thing you could try while at home is increasing sound around the house. Turn on the TV a little louder with the Radio to mimic louder environments. Throw a childs singing video or cd in and turn it up in increments. This will get her adjusted. Of course not ear deafing but some houses are quieter than others. Most of the kids in our family are not easily handled. What I found is putting them in their carrier and moving it around in company was better. Then as they got use to new people they decided who they wanted to be bother with & who they didn't. I have one sister that insist babies don't like her at all but by 2 years old they are all over her. Go figure. So we don't push the holding part, just let each kid get to know us in their own time and then alls well. Hope this helps.

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B.C.

answers from Chicago on

Don't worry. She'll be fine. My daughter was the same way when she was an infant; in fact, she wouldn't even let my husband hold her for about 2 months! It really sucked! She would go to me, our sitter (who has been here 2 afternoons a week since she was 7 weeks old, and one of my friends ;) I think that they had to be people who were very much a part of her routine (we went for a while there where my husband just never really saw her--then he started waking up with her in the mornings and since then she's a total daddy's girl).

I'm guessing that the first few days with grandma might be hard for all of you, but once grandma is part of her routine all will be well. I've always discribed my daughter as a "cat". She loved playing with people if they were sitting with her on the floor, but didn't want to be picked up/held by most people. It took my mil FOREVER to accept that. My daughter just turned 3 and is a wonderful person--very warm and loving, though it still has to be her idea to go over and love people. Isn't it amazing how much personality the have from the get go!

Good luck and remember that most things at this stage are phases that she'll grow out of. I hope that your family can respect her personality and love her for exactly who she is as I'm guessing that she's wonderful!

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A.F.

answers from Detroit on

Hi K.T,
This is completely normal and seperation anxiety begins around this age because they are just now able to start recognizing faces and voices. My daughter screamed when anyone looked at her, let alone having someone try to hold her.

Try taking her out and around people more to get her familiar with other people. It may take some time, but do it in small time intervals. Maybe 10 min her, 30 min the next time.

Rest assured it'll pass, but it's all new and they have to warm up and become familiar with others. So again, just try to get out more and more with her and let the people (grandmother) become more familiar with her on a more frequent basis.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I had similiar issues with my children. It seems to revolve around noise level. Grandma tended to be a loud talker and it would freak out the kids. I had to "ever so gently" tell her to tone it down so that they would be okay. Funny...now at age 7.5 and 5 it's the reverse situation!

Good luck!

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

My 3 month old did the same thing to my in laws and screamed until mom or dad was holding her. As soon as we got home she was fine also. My in laws started to watch her when I went back to work and the first day she screamed alittle but now she smiles when she sees them. I think she likes being at home because she is fine with people when we are at home but if we are at someone's house it takes her a long time to warm up to people. I think once her grandmother is with her for a couple of days she will be fine.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

It could have been the amount of people not necessarily the people who were there. When my son was really young we took him to my grandmothers and she had every one over for a BBQ - I have 6 aunts and uncles + spouses and cousins so it gets very loud very quickly. He was fine if we sat with him in another room where it was relatively quiet but if we went into the kitchen where every one was at with the high noise level he would get really upset.

If she is fine otherwise when she is with grandma and others I would think the extra noise and commotion bothered her.

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

My son (now almost 2) sometimes gets uncharacteristically clingy and cries when in large groups of people. Maybe she's reacting to being overstimulated?

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter was the same way for a few months. She was home with dad during the day--and siblings of course when they were home from school--and with me in the evenings and night. She didn't have much interaction with other people otherwise. She was fine when we would visit my mom but when she was with more people, she would scream and cry. We took a really slow route introducing her to many people. Luckily by Thanksgiving (about 7 months old) she was fine with a small but loud crowd. You could take her more often by grandma and see how she reacts, maybe leave her after a few visits so you can run to the store or something.

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