3 1/2 Year Old -Acting Out at Daycare

It's very possible she's bored at your current daycare provider. With a center based program that has more structure and some older kids, she'll have more role models and potentially more age appropriate toys. Seriously, I wouldn't worry that this is the way your daughter will act elsewhere. Look into some real preschools (many do full day) and let them know that you're making the change because your daughter was bored and acting out at a home based daycare where all the other kids were younger. That way the teachers will be aware, but you're not labeling your daughter as a behavior problem.

It sounds like she has been in a home setting, yes? As well intentioned as home daycare providers are, many of them do not have the educational background in early childhood development that would allow them to be creative in finding solutions when children act out.

Put her in a licensed childcare center that some of your friends use or recommend. The employees at these larger centers usually have more training and/or the educational background to deal with children without giving up. Plus, when you're at a licensed center, they will give you two weeks notice if they feel they can't handle what your daughter is doing. So at least you'll have a little more notice!

As for your daughter's behavior, it does not sound out of the ordinary for a child her age. Just let her know the behavior is unacceptable, and tell her what you expect from her. If she still hits or kicks someone, then give her a consequence (she's old enough that time outs are appropriate). Be consistent with whatever you choose.

Good luck!

Put her in a daycare where kids are bigger so she won't be able to push them around. Problem solved.

Teach her how to express her anger even when she threatens. When she threatens to do it that is probably the best time to teach her. I would find another quality daycare. Find one that has a lot of experience in this and ask what they do when the kids hit. I've known some people that are just amazing at teaching kids not to hit, they are like the toddler whisperer lol (it's nothing physical, I've been there when they do it). A lot of kids go through that, some do some don't. It's important to teach her to breathe and calm down, stomp her feet, and how to share. I would find a daycare that has experience in it and has kids her age, and older so there is a balance. Too many older kids could end up with her being bullied and pushed around or her not being able to keep up with them so she'll feel left out. I would look for at least a few kids her age there. But it has to start at home with teaching her so she won't be pushing other kids around when she gets mad about not having her way. How does she react to you when she doesn't get her way? You have to nip any negative reactions and teach her how to handle it. Reassure her feelings, It must be frustrating to not have the ball you want. How do you react when she gets mad? Always keep your cool or she will feed off of it. Good luck :)

My sister could have written this. My niece has/had the exact same situation and as Rosebud suggested, she went to a preschool where there were older children, more structure and she's thriving. As others mentioned, probably understimulated, bored and being older, might makes right. This is normal and definitely teaching what to do with anger (huge advocate) but this seems situational.

Best!

I think she just outgrew the small setting. Hopefully she'll understand she can't go back to the other one due to her choices and learn to make different ones when she is frustrated. I would talk t the teachers and give them a heads up so they can keep an eye out for the triggers and redirect her before anyone gets hurt accidentally.