23 Month Old Interaction with Other Children

Take a class at the YMCA or the park district. They often have parent/child programs. This will get both of you out of the house and in a class with the same people each week. Great way to ease her into things socially. It won't be long before she's off to preschool. This will make that transition much easier.

Children don't usually play "with" other children until they are around three years old. Before then, they engage in "parallel play." (http://www.examiner.com/baby-and-toddler-in-national/todd...) Children are usually fascinated by other littles before then, but don't know what to do with them. Even three-year-olds seldom make "friends."

There's nothing odd about your daughter's watchfulness – she may be more cautious before settling in for activity of her own than some other kids, but there's quite a range of normal behavior that runs from shy to extroverted.

I'd be careful not to "push," because she may simply need the time to watch and consider her options, and urging her into the flow may only serve to make her feel more anxious. But do keep taking her to where play is happening. She'll move ahead when she's ready.

She is NORMAL.
MANY kids do this.
It is developmental.

Also, kids this age do not play interactively.
They do what is called "parallel play."

She's fine.
Let her be herself... my daughter was like that. And you know what? She is now 8 years old, and is very Wise beyond her years. She is an 'observer' and has very very spot on ability to discern other kids/people/intentions. Much more so than other kids her own age. Even her Teachers say so.

Let your child, develop her own personality. Not according to what other people think she should be.
Nurture HER. Her own talents/interests/disposition etc.
It will serve her well.

Not every kid 'has to be' an extrovert or interacting like a clown.
My kids, though very well adjusted, are not like that. They CHOOSE who they play with and CHOOSE what kid they want to play with... according to character etc.
That is a good thing.

So, your daughter is young. Allow her, to gauge herself too and with your guidance, to just TRUST herself and you, and just have fun. Even if that means 'staring' at the other kids. For now.

Let your child, be herself.
That is the greatest 'gift' a parent can do.

all the best,
Susan

Toddlers generally do not play WITH other children. They play along side them. I suggest that you daughter is doing what is "normal." Unless she's an active, run around child, when alone she won't be one with other children. I suggest that in part she's quiet because being with other children is new to her. Just continue putting her together with other children but do not expect her to play with them until she's older and more experienced.

Please don't let this break your heart. She's OK and not feeling the angst that you're feeling. She will feel your sorrow and think something is wrong which may inhibit her even more. Relax and enjoy this quiet period of time. She'll be playing with children soon enough.

I would not be concerned with your 23 month old not playing. She may still want to be with you. You might try Montessori Schools. They will take a child who is potty-trained. My precocious daughter loved it there. She started at 2 yrs. 9 mos. She was there 3 years (including Kindergarten) and appreciated her education. They were doing cubed roots in Kindergarten.
She met friends there, and learned how to interact.

My son and I are in the same situation. I stay home with him. We used to go places like the Playplace at McD's and he would just stare at the other kids running around. I've taken him to playdates since he was an infant but there are usually only one or two other kids. So groups of kids sort of overwhelmed him. But, he's just turned two and he seems to be coming out of his shell on his own. If she's anything like mine, you just have to wait and let her observe until she's ready to join in on her own.

Shyness can be normal. You can only encourage her to take steps to be social. One way to encourage is to provide opportunities. Another is to model the behavior, like introducing yourself to new people.
If you're military have you checked into Child and Youth services and what activities they may have at reduced prices. When my son was 18 mo we took a toddler gymnastics class. He didn't interact w/ other kids much but at least he was around them. Keep looking for playgoups or just a close friend to do things with. Or short events where she may get an hr or two of daycare- church or Protestant women of the chapel or MOPS. Regular outings to a park or chidren's museum would at least open her up to other kids, even if it doesn't force her to play directly with the others.

Have you been taking her to social settings with children her own age? I am a stay at home mom and when my daughter was younger (she's 4 now), we had playgroup once a week with moms I met at a hospital baby group (free social group for moms and babies), we went to the local library storytimes (it's free), we went to the zoo and children's museums, we went to the mall to play at the play area etc. etc. there are tons of things to do and places to go to have your child be more social. They may or may not play together, but they have the option..... Good luck

My daughter did not start pre-school until she was over 2 and was not in any group daycare before that. She would do the same -stare at other kids at the playground. Now she is 3 1/2 plus and very actively plays with other kids at preschool and also plays by herself at preschool as well, which I think is healthy.

She will make friends soon. Will you be putting her in some kind of pre-school soon? Our is a co-op so it works well for SAHMs. Much cheaper b/c of parent volunteering, and kids get the social experiences they need.

J.

My daughter is like this too. She started part time daycare last summer and has been going to full time daycare for a month. She will be 3 in May. I think it is her personality and don't acknowledge it when she is around. I want her to feel confident whether she is outgoing or a loner. I would love for her to be more outgoing as that would make things easier for her, but if thats not who she is, its not. Good luck.