Daycare...is It Really Necessary?

There are activites that you can do besides the playground.
- Libraries - usually they have a weekly story time. She can make new friends there.
- Rec center - usually there will be toddler tumbling or some such
- Gymboree - enroll her in a toddler play time.

While I think signing her up for some type of social thing or exposing her to other kids would be a good idea. I don't at all think its NECESSARY. I think if you wait until school, she'll be just fine.

Personally darecare is a waste of money. I wouldn't spend on day care only if I had to...For two boys, I spent $15,000 per year until they went to kindergarten. I would wait unti lshe can start preschool :).

Sheesh! We've come to the point that some of us consider day care to be essential even tho we don't need it. I can not think of one good reason to force our children into day care when we're able to provide all that they need. They will become socialized within their family. There were whole generations that had SAHMs. They became successful adults.

When mothers started into the work field having to leave your child in daycare was seen as a negative to working. We've adjusted and found ways to raise successful children while in day care but that doesn't mean being in day care is the best way to raise children. It is what it is. A necessity that we've found ways to make work.

There are advantages to not going and to going to day care. At the same time day care is not a necessary experience to have.

My take on it is that it sounds like she's getting great opportunities right now just being out and about with you. Your close presence and gentle social coaching/giving her helpful direction is just what a very young child needs.

As a preschool teacher, my suggestion would be to keep her home until she's two and a half or three, and then start a half-day playschool or preschool program. At this point, she'll be developmentally ready for the sort of social coaching and activities---and being away from family for part of the day. People forget sometimes that daycare and preschool are lot of work for children.:) Following the teacher/group through the day, the self-regulation and need for self-expression (asking for what she needs) are all skills to be developed between 2.5-5 year or so, before kindergarten. But there's no reason to rush...

It's a crazy world we live in today. I recently heard a father complaining that his wife's friends were getting upset with him for not enrolling their son in classes--when the son was *one* year old. People who don't understand child development are very likely to make these assumptions that kids need schooling earlier and earlier. This really isn't the case. Kids don't have 'friends', truly, until they are at least four or so. (There's a lot of social development intrinsic to being a 'friend'.) More complex friendships don't develop until second and third grade. Your daughter is at an age where you will likely see more parallel play, even up to two and a half or three. When I was the lead teacher of a toddler group, it was *very* rare that I had two children playing 'together', exchanging ideas and taking turns leading the play. It was more that the children were enjoying each others presence around a sensory table or playing dress up or during parallel play activities.

And look at community resources: library storytimes or a music and movement class or a messy art group, if you want her to experience being with children in a group. Staying with her for these experiences will keep them feeling fun and comfortable for her.

Rather than put her in a daycare you don't need, join a Meet Up or other playgroup in your area. Go to library story times. Get out to the park. Look at your park and rec programs to see what toddler activities there are. Daycare can socialize children, but IMO (as someone who has both had her child in daycare and out) I see no reason to put a child in daycare when a parent is home. I think if you get her out of the house with you several times a week, she'll be fine. My DD was out of daycare from 18 months on and will start preschool in the fall for many reasons. She will be 4. She has NOT suffered from being home. She has a few genuine friends and can socialize in groups at outings.

You are so lucky to be a SAHM you do not need daycare for this young age...I do think pre-school is good for them at 3 though (even a few part time days). I work and found practically all M. clubs, library programs etc are M-F during my working hours so we could not take advantage of them but you can. If I was a SAHM, I would go the weekly library story times and join a mom's club. Many of them meet a few times per week for playgroups for the kids. Your daughter would love seeing the same kids at each out and maybe they will give her hugs too :-)

Not a lame question at all.
Daycare at 19 months is certainly not "necessary" imo.
Play dates, park, library story times are all great places for her to play with/be with/see other kids.
Until about 3, kids do parallel play anyway--they play NEAR each other, not a lot WITH each other.....
Meh...personal choice, I suppose.
We waited til 3 & 2 mornings per week nursery school.
The kid is now Mr. BMOC Popularity!

Daycare is absolutely NOT necessary to raise well-mannered, well-developed, well-rounded children. Be glad there are safe places to leave your children when the need/desire to work outweighs the need/desire to stay home with your kids, but don't look at it as something your kids are "missing out on", should you choose to stay home and raise them yourself for those additional 8-10 hours each day.
Despite some people's opinions, children learn all the proper manners and socialization once they hit kindergarten. In fact, many a kindergarten teacher will tell you that the more aggressive kids are usually the ones that came out of a daycare situation, and the quieter ones are usually home-raised all day. Not that one is worse than the other, just an observation that teachers have made to me,and I have heard other teachers say as well.
If you need daycare, use it. Find a safe one, not a cheap one, and go and do your work, and know that you will need to be 100% devoted to the kids when you ARE with them.
Good luck in your decision.

No I don't really think younger kids should be in daycare if you are going to be home. Preschool when she his 3 or 4 years old is fine. Preschool meaning 2-3 days a week for only half days. I used to work in a day care/preschool and the kids who were there all day were over tired and just wanted to go home. For now, I would say just enjoy your time at home with her. Once she starts school full time, you will miss her!

Unless you need time off from your child to work or study - no, daycare is not necessary. Sign yourself up for a playgroup, gym class or some other regular once or twice a week activity and that is PLENTY of socialization for a child your daughter's age. Plus as you meet other moms/kids you can have playdates in addition to that and build a little circle of friends for her.
Once she is 3 or 4 you can consider preschool - but no, under three is really is not necessary unless YOU need it.

I don't think you need it. In my experience, my kids have stayed home (one is in school, the other is still home) and they are just fine in social situations.

When I had my daughter at home I thought she was going to be some socially handicap individual who wouldn't know how to interact with others. I used to worry about it soooo much. Boy, was I wrong! She does her work, gets a long with others and follow the rules. And believe me, there was no structured anything at home! I just loved her to death and taught her how to be a respectable person. I do the same thing with my son, and he's pretty social too.

I think she will be just fine.

At 19 mos, she doesn't really NEED to go to daycare. I think you should go through her toys and get rid of the ones she's outgrown and replace them with toys more age appropriate that will engage her.

With money being tight, I would just look around your area for a play group to become involved with or try to make a few M. friends at the park and see if you can schedule an informal play session with some kids at the park on a regular basis.

The state should be offering some free or sliding scale preschool options, but probably not at this age. I think it's more for 3 and 4 year olds. She'll be old enough soon to enroll in a state-funded preschool. Enrollment always starts in January, so the January before you want her to start, begin looking and the enrollment process.

I don't think you need day care, but how about some other activities. A lot of libraries have kids programs, the summer is coming so check your local parks depatment as well.

If you have the momey, see if there is Gymboree Play and Learn near you. The classes are with M. until they are around 3 then they start some separation classes. Also M. and me gynastics or dance. She gets to do activities and make freinds with the other childrent that she will see on a regualr basis.

My daughter now 4 has friends from Gymboree that she has been with since she was around 8 months old or so... And I made some freinds as well with the other Mom's.

I started my daughter in preschool 2 days a week a 3 to get her used to be away from M. (and since I work from home, so I could get work done! the older she gets the harder it is to keep her entertained...)

SO really it is not the day care time that is important it is the Socilalzation time, and that can happen anywhere...

Good luck!

I agree a Mother's Day Out program is a perfect solution...a couple of hours two days a week that she goes to play and you can do what you need to do without your daughter in tow...doctor/dentist visits...grocery shop...etc.

It is a win-win.

For some reason, everytime the "should I socialize the child" question comes up - I think of Little House on the Prairie. That whole generation or two living in early America had less socializing than you do now. I think they made it ok.

Of course, I'm a huge introvert and would rather stay at home 6 days out of every 7. So that my color my answer a bit - dunno.

No - daycare is for children whose parents both work outside of the home. You may want to consider preschool when she is 3 or 4. Honestly, kindergarten usually starts at 5 and that is soon enough to start schooling.

You need to parent your daughter and teach her how to make friends. Teach her to introduce herself, that she doesn't hug before she knows someone and do playdates when you are able.

C.

If you don't need daycare, then don't send her to daycare. Daycare is for working parents or those having to be away from their kids the majority of the day (like being in school fulltime). You don't say how long you will be away from home when you go back to classes. It costs money to go to school, so you have money going out on both counts - school AND daycare. So if you can have a family member stay with your daughter, that's better. If not, you have to have someone. If there is drop-in daycare that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, that's the other alternative.

I kind of feel that your question is actually two different questions. There is your question about a need for daycare. And then there is the question of whether it's necessary to help a child socialize. She is very little and she doesn't need the socializing outside of what you are already doing. So don't look at it like that. Hazel gives you very good advice about the time frame to look at for something like pre-school or Mother's Morning Out.

Good luck finding what you need that is affordable when you go back to school!

Dawn

A necessary evil, perhaps. If you work outside the home, you can't exactly leave the babes at home alone....

Beyond that, and their own sanity, why would anyone WANT to put their babies in daycare?

Preschool, is a different animal. And, again, if you aren't working outside the home where you have to have someone else watching them during the day, then that isn't "necessary" either. It can be beneficial. More so for some than others. Many kids learn in daily life, much of what they might learn in a preschool setting (the 3 yr old bunch).
I am a SAHM, and we did not put either of our kids in preschool until they were age 4. And then it wasn't daily, nor all day. It was for learning to be away from us, and being assertive about their needs in an environment that didn't cater to THEM (i.e., not home and not grandma's). They developed friendships that THEY had to navigate, b/c mom wasn't right there. It was learning to wait their turn behind 4 other people (and not just their little sister).
It was all about stretching them a bit. It was a piece of cake for both of our kids, and our son is very social and loved it. Our daughter was very excited to go also, b/c she was "big" then and going to "school". (She could already read). But she had to adjust a bit more, because she was the less assertive one, who needed to conquer her "fear"(?)... her hesitancy to speak up for herself. She only drank water (her choice--milk, water and gatorade--she hasn't expanded her drink choices much since then, either), and needed to learn that when somebody's mom passed out capri-sun for everyone, she needed to speak up and ask for a cup of water, or she would be thirsty.

But NECESSARY? Nope. It made Kindergarten and first grade easier... but it wasn't necessary.
Daycare? NEVER necessary if you are home and can care for them yourself. They get plenty of socialization with playdates, being around you and dad and other family, and neighborhood or church families with similar aged kids. I honestly think that it isn't such a bad thing that 3 yrs and under are only around well mannered ADULTS, myself. They model what they see... and I've seen some things in toddlers and 3 yr olds I wouldn't want my kids to mimic, lol.

Instead of Day Care, look into your local park district and see what they offer for summer camps. Our district's programs charge weekly, you can do half day, whole day, one, two, three, five day options and they are reasonably priced. I have an agressive boy when it comes to friends and school environments have helped that along. Yes, I suggest you get her around other kids in a more controlled environment vs the park.

I agree with everything Hazel said.

Plus there are many things you can do without doing a formal preschool to get your child taking instructions from another adult (needed for the transition to Kindergarten eventually), and to get them engaged socially. Story-times, art classes, ECFE classes, tumbling, open gym times, time spent at Children's museum days, swimming lessons, park & Rec classes, etc. Many are inexpensive and not overly time consuming for those parents who don't want a fuller school experience before ACTUAL school.

I know our community centers/park & rec programs have a few preschool options, some in the evenings, that are just one or 2 days a week for a 2 hour time frame, inexpensive as well.

Keep doing what you are doing and add to it as you feel you both need!

Daycare is for kids who have parents that are not home to care for them. One reason I actually stay at home is to keep my kids OUT of daycare.

Also, WAY too much emphasis is put on this "socialization" thing. I'd say you only need to worry if you keep her at home 100% of the time for the first four years of her life:)

Keep up with what you are already doing... if you are still concerned, try and find a play group/mom group to join- it could be fun for you BOTH. Also, the rec centers around here (not same area as you, but I'm sure you have something similar)have M. and me swimming classes, yoga, tumbling-type classes and more... another thing to try.

I would check local churches and try to find a Mom's Day out program instead of day care. That way, she'll get the socializing that she needs and you'll get a nice little break once a week.
Or, try and find a mom's group. I found one on meetup.com when my first two were babies (15 mos, and 2 mos) and it was a LIFESAVER!! They had scheduled activities- multiple per week- and you could choose whichever ones you wanted to attend. It was great for my sons (and me!).

No it is not really necessary. My daughter, now 4, stays home. The only "problem" we have is that there really are no other children for her to play with. We also have 3 13 yr old kids. And she tries to be just like them. So she does not really know how to interract perfectly with someone her own age. We sent her to preschool at the park this past year and she will go again in the fall. I also watch for programs that might interest her with other kids her age. Check out your park dist for any programs or classes. i know ours has a class in the late morning for the 1-3 age group with music and playtime. They are also a lot more affordable than daycare.

I don't think any child "needs" daycare, exactly, unless it is childcare, but it's certainly not going to hurt them.

There's a reason preschool typically begins at 3 years old. That's when the majority of kids are ready for and could really benefit from a more structured environment. Prior to that kids tend to still do "parallel play." It's good for them to be around other kids and be exposed to other kids, but they still do their own thing so the benefit is not really that great.

If you really do want to help her socialize more, you could sign up for a class at the park district or the YMCA or go to the library and the park often. You may find you need some study time, so you could think about finding a mom with young kid(s) who could babysit a few hours a week.

I started my youngest in daycare when he was 2 1/2, but that's because I went back to work full-time. We found a fabulous daycare center (yeah!), and he is doing great!!! But I'd like to think he'd be doing great if it was just us and a few outings each week.

Nah - Day care is not necessary to learn all these social cues. Kids learn mainly from mom and dad (or other adults). In school it isn't the other kids who are teaching her how to behave it is the teacher.

I would say if you need/want a break, or want someone else to add variety, sure - go for it. But most kids show up the first day of school never having pre-k or pre-school experience and do just fine.

also, you can replicate the pre-school experiences and the learning with a quick google of "activities for 1 year old" If you want play buddies try a MDO or MOPS group.

My son is 3. He has never been in daycare. Unless something drastically changes he never will. And...gasp!!...he is going to be homeschooling, as well. He is really, really good with other children. Very socially adept. I take him to the library for their story times and activities. Our city has classes in the summer for his ages for $20-$30 for two months. There are a lot of free things around, that I take him to. You could also look into Mothers of preschoolers. ( www.mops.org ) and find friends that way. At your daughter's age, she will not yet be playing "with" children too effectively.

Look into Mother's Day Out type of programs in your area. I believe daycare is childcare. Children go there, when their parents are at work. I don't think daycare is a proper outlet for socialization. (Yes, of course children learn social skills. However, it really is set up for the workers to be caretakers during working times.) It's also VERY difficult to find a daycare (unless it's in-home) that will take your child for a few days a week for socialization.

My oldest was like yours and since we could afford it, we did start sending her to a little preschool for 2 days a week, part day when she turned 2. It was a playdate basically that I didn't stay for. I don't think it's necessary at all. It's more of a "she'll enjoy it" thing. So what you could do is see if you can find a coop preschool. That way it's free so long as you help teach sometimes.

It sounds like you need more of a playgroup, so that your daughter can interact with the same group of kids and they can get used to each other. (With the moms there to supervise and teach them how to socialize.) You could look for a group like MOMS Club or MOPS. In the group I was in, some moms wanted their kids to make long-term friendships that would continue when they went to the same school in a few years.

As a daycare provider myself, in your case I would say daycare is not needed. YOU may want to take an online class from http://www.care.com to learn more about toddlers (I really love Toddlers Day by Day). The classes don't cost much and are great learning tools.
What your daughter needs is just more of what you already do. Take her to library story time, join MOPS perhaps or see if there is a local playgroup for her age, give her new experiences daily (encourage as many of her senses as you can!). You live up by a great place called Make a Messterpiece, and also the Kohl's Children's Museum. I think both of those places have play groups or regular classes that are for that age w/parent. Gymboree or My Gym are other good options.

Daycare does do all that you suggest if it is a good place, but there is no reason for that. Now sometimes I get kids that are really NOT exposed to the things you seem to be willing to do. Those kids are the ones where daycare can save them and enrich a life that otherwise would be stagnented. The kids who's M.'s do everything for them (even feed them, carry them all the time when they can walk just fine, etc) are the ones that may need daycare even if the mom doesn't work.

If you do seem to have a connection at one of these places, even the playground with a child and your own, suggest playdates with that child.

So, find a playgroup, enjoy her and keep her home.

I do a weekly bible study that offers structured kids programs. Its free and my children get great interaction and structure. There are also lots of churches that offer mops programs too.

Kids also socialize at church, on sports teams, and at the YMCA or other gym childcare.

You don't need to send her to daycare at all. Daycare is usually for people who need their child cared for during the day while they work. Preschool is a different story. It is a few hours a day/week and prepares kids for kindergarten. They can be there typically from 2 to 4 years old. My daughter started at 2 but you can wait longer. At 2 she went two days a week, 2 hours at a time. Just a short, fun play date with her peers where they did art projects and learned songs, had toys, dress up etc. -- it was great because as creative and involved as I was, they did different things. And it really prepares them for k-garten as they learn to share, cooperate, listen, line up, etc. There is a lot of evidence that preschool helps kids be successful in k-garten. So, enjoy your time with her, no need to look into daycare, but start scoping out preschools so she can enter at least 1 year before kindergarten. Have fun!

My son was in daycare out of necessity - and it was complete chaos and he did not do well so we ended up doing the nanny route. There are so many great ways to get your daughter in social activities that do not involve daycare, especially if she was only there for a few days a week she will never form as close of a bond to the other full time kids anyway. There are free library events, park district programs, gymboree, etc.

Good luck with whichever route you choose.

In your case, I would not send her to "daycare". They are pretty inflexible in terms of having you pay even if they are closed or your child is sick and can't go. From the age of 6 months, I had my son go to an in-home "daycare". There were always at least 3 -6 children there, most younger kids. The "babysitter" was a nursery school teacher and had a structured day for the kids and had high expectations for behavior. I think something like that one or two days a week would benefit your daughter. It is really important for her to be away from you. In addition to this, go to as many town activities as you can. She is still really young so don't be embarrassed!

If you don't work, then I don't see the point in daycare. There are plenty of other ways to socialize your child - playgroups, story time, classes, the park, etc. When your child is of age, you can try a part time pre-school.

It sounds like your daughter is developing just fine. Skip day care but you may want to watch for story times at the library or other play groups which would give your daughter the opportunity to mix with other kids and yourself the opportunity to interact with other moms. When she's 3, pre-school a few mornings a week might be a good idea but even then it is completely optional.

NO, she doesn't need daycare. However, she could use some time with other children. I suggest finding some programs in your area that may just be for one to two days a week, like story time at the library.

When she turns 3 you should consider preschool.

www.meetup.com I have joined a few of these groups over the past few years and now have some steady relationships with other families. They have groups based on geography, interests, special needs, ethnicity or religious preferences, etc. You can find pretty much anything you can envision. I have seen quite a few groups in the Northwestern suburbs, so you should be able to find some good playgroups.

My suggestion is to look into playgroup, parents day out and/or parent/toddler classes. Check your local park district for relatively inexpensive options. Some child care centers and preschools, Montessori programs in particular, may also have what you're looking for as well.

Nope!

I just wanted to add to the great responses you have already received.

There are a lot of websites out there with free activity ideas, projects, games, manipulatives, learning pages that you can use with your LO to help teach through "play" (their work) more concepts, letters, numbers, colors, etc...at home, when your aren't out at the zoo, play group, museum, library, park, etc...you and your LO will be fine!!!!

My kids didn't go to daycare unless it was necessary. My older three all spent some time in daycar, but my youngest has never been due to me finally being able to be a SAHM. He does occasionally go to "play" with friends when I have doctor appointments or anything else I can't take him to. He also has been in class with other kids his age at church since he was 18 months old so he has had some socialization. :-) There is really no way I would pay for daycare if it wasn't needed. But, that's just me.

I agree with the person that suggested meetup.com. It is a great way to find friends/activities for little ones and moms. You are already doing better than day care ever could for your child!

What is embarrassing about a cute little nineteen month old running to hug someone? You are living your life, stop worrying about what everyone else suggests. Sounds like she is secure and loved and they the all important sources of information are not paying your bills. Enjoy your little one now, while babyhood is still here. Now my children are grown and who cares whether I put them in Daycare or not? they will be in school for years. And they meet all sorts of people. If she isn't having a horrible problem and just enjoys being a baby, then you enjoy it, too. How many people get this chance in life?