20 Month Old Doesn't Say "Mommy"

Updated on January 22, 2009
D.C. asks from Pataskala, OH
17 answers

My 20 month old is doing something that seems odd to me. He is talking, knows quite a number of words, including "daddy", and he uses it appropriately. However, he has never said mommy and I don't get it. I'm sure that he physically can. He is very attached to me and knows my name (when my husband says "where's mommy?", he points to me or comes to me. But, when my husband points to me and say's "who's that?", the little rascal just shakes his head and grins!
Any ideas as to what is up with this and is there anything I can do? We don't badger him with it, just ask occasionally.
Thanks! D.

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

Even though he says, "DADDY", might try going ONE SYLLABYL ...
"MOM" "MUM" and even play with it..."MUM, MUM MUM MUM" repeatedly when you're playing. Worth a shot.

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C.R.

answers from Cleveland on

Oh, D., I am laughing as I write this! My 20 mo. old Kaitlin REFUSES to say Mommy! As soon as she hears someone moving around in the morning, I hear "HI DADA!" I go into her room, and she's ecstatic to see me. As I change her diaper, I ask, "Can I be MOMMA today?" She grins wide and shakes her head NO! Every freakin' day :) There was one night when she had a bad stomach ache that I heard a heart-breaking MAMA! MAMA! but I'm beginning to think that I'll always be DADA too :) She can say Bandit (her dog), GiGi (her grandma), and many other words, so it's not a skill level thing - it's a game. Have fun with it like I do :)

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J.A.

answers from Cincinnati on

D. - Can your boy say any other words that start with "m" (like "monkey" or "milk")? It could be that he has a hard time pronouncing the "m" sound??? Just a thought.

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D.G.

answers from Columbus on

To your son it is a game to him becaue he knows you want him to say it.He might even say your first name before he says Mommy if he hears other folks speaking to you. Give it time.

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

My almost 15 month old does the opposite. He calls me and my husband both Mama. He has said Dada but I think he just likes to say mama better. Who knows. Your son may get the game he is playing and has fun with it. Soon enough he will say Mommy too.

J.C.

answers from Columbus on

D.,

We had that same problem with my daughter at that age. She actually knew quite a few words and even sentences. But for some reason, "Mommy" was not something she felt like saying.
Then one evening she and my husband and I were playing 'hide n' seek' and I was the hider. "ready or not, here we come" I heard. Then my husband nudged Madeline to call for me and that's exactly when it happened. Clear as day, as if she'd been saying it all along.

Give it a try!
Good luck,
J.

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S.C.

answers from Evansville on

My oldest (who's seven & a half now) called me 'Ba' until she was nearly two. She could say 'Mama' but wouldn't. She finally said 'Mama' for the first time when she came to the hospital to visit me & her new baby brother three weeks before her second birthday.

My nephew calls his mom (my sister) 'Bum.' Not sure why, but it's clear as a bell. My 18 month old calls everyone 'Mama' or 'Pa' (what they all call their grandfather).

He'll get it. As long as the rest of his speech is good, don't worry. He'll get there.

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L.

answers from Cincinnati on

D. my son does the same thing only he is 30 months. Says daddy all the time makes me crazy. We spend a lot of time together and play and yet he wont say my name. He doesnt even have an alternative name for me. I hope your little one says it soon and you dont have to wait as long as I am. I am just dying to hear him say mommy. I also cant wait to hear him say "love you." Best of luck.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

Don't worry D.!

He will get around to it, and you might want him to quit!

My favorite line at the Doctors office when they appologize for the long wait is, "no problem, I enjoy the quiet, just don't call me Mahhhh-uuuuhM or I will have to hurt you!"

It is a game, he is a smart kid.

M.

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

LOL! What a little dickens! He's totally playing you!

If you want to play back, try calling yourself daddy, or someone else. Like when you get him some milk, "Oh, sure, sweetie. Daddy will get you milk." Then hand it to him.

He's obviously very bright, and will join in your game, calling you anything other than mommy, or he will call your bluff, and say something like, "No daddy! Mommy!"

Just try not to let him know it bothers you in any way, or he'll make it last longer.

Let us know what happens!
Blessings, J.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

Does he say other words with the "mmmm" sound?
If so, maybe he knows how bad you want him to. My grandson would not say grandpa no matter how hard my husband tried to get him to say it. He would repeat every word my husband was saying, but if he said grandpa, my grandson would just look at him and laugh and smile. It is a sign that he is very smart. Look out!

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

Are you sure this just isn't a game he is playing? Some how he knows this is bothering you on some level so he is playing with you.
My brother (now 47) used to do this to my grandmother. He was the only grandson in the family on either side. My dad's mom would have done anything for him. His response was, no hugs, no kisses, and he wouldn't talk to her most of the time. This went on until he was about 8 years old. It was very hard on her, I might add. She really felt badly about it. Being the oldest grandchild I could see what he was doing bothered her. Being her least favorite grandchild I couldn't do anything to help her.
When talking to him do you refer to yourself as "mommy" or just as "I"? Just asking. I always said "Mommy wants you to" or "Mommy will get it". If you aren't refering to yourself that way you may try it for awhile and see if it helps.

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S.K.

answers from Cleveland on

Oh, isn't that frustrating? My kids all said "Daddy" first too. I think that some kids will only say a word when they're sure that they can say it correctly. They know what it means when they hear it, but refuse to attempt it. Mommy must be harder to say. Don't worry, he'll eventually say it. . .then you'll get sick of hearing it! LOL Moooooommy!

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S.K.

answers from South Bend on

OMG your son sounds just like mine! LOL! My son just turned 2 last month... and JUST started saying "mama." I had heard him say mama before, when I was out of the room lol. My husband told me that he would say mama all day when I was gone. But when I'd try to get him to say mama, he would just smile and say "dada." It is totally a game! Sometimes, like your son, he would smile and shake his head. (he still does this at times) I think it's a battle of wills. I hope it's not a preview of what potty training will be like with him! ugh!

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C.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

Mine does the same thing! I wouldn't worry about it. I believe it is pretty normal for kids that age. There have been a couple of times that I have heard him say "mama" or "mommy", but for the most part it is all "daddy, daddy, daddy". When my husband is home, my son is particularly attached to him. It drives my husband crazy sometimes. I know that he loves me as well (I am the one who gets most of the hugs and kisses), but I do sometimes wish he would say "mommy" too. Although, I know that once he does start saying it, I will probably wish he would stop :)

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R.P.

answers from Elkhart on

I would have said to have his hearing tested. But since he can say other words very well, I think he is playing a game with you. He knows he doesn't have to say mommy or momma to get your attention. So to him it doesn't matter. Don't fret, he will say it. I have 3 children, ages 16,12 & 10; and I have always wondered about this: WE SPEND A LOT OF TIME TEACHING OUR BABIES TO TALK, BUT AS THEY GROW OLDER, WE SPEND A LIFE TIME TRYING TO GET THEM TO BE QUIET!! Go Figure.

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S.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

You got alot of responses on this but my 18 month old son does the same thing! He says daddy all the time but if daddy asks who I am he just looks at me and smiles! Stinker!! :)
I think he has only said it like 3 times if that.

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