He Calls Me B.

I would use the same apprach people use for kids that whine. Tell him you will respond when he calls you mommy. Everytime he calls you B. calmly say "call me mommy" and continue doing what you were doing before. He'll get it after a few days.

My daughter started doing this also about the same age. I ignored her and it took time for her to stop. She would get louder and louder and I would say when you call me Mommy I will answer and then go about what I was doing. It was hard. She eventually stopped because she would not get what she wanted. Good luck. A.

My son did that for a little while when he was 2 1/2. It lasted about 3 months and then he got over it and started calling him dad again. So it does get better and go away. Just be patient.

I have dozens of mom relationships and have seen this three times in 20 years. These kids that call their parents by their first names are all three over-the-top intelligent. The problem is that the more you want it to stop the less likely it will be to stop. Why? Because he is so smart that he gets how much it bothers you, but he also understands that it is a convention not a rule. THAT's how smart he is.

Take a trip to the library and check out: Raising Your Spirited Child by M.S. Kurcinka. You are going to be needing some help with this one B. ~ he's already smarter than the rest of you at your house. You may want to start saving now for MIT as well.

You said he is strong willed. Usually ignoring a strong willed child doesn't work. They want the upper hand. I would go on strick. Each time he wants anything he has to say, "Mommy please." If he doesn't he doesn't get it. It will be hard for a couple of days, but he will learn once he realizes he gets nothing unless he says what you ask of him. You can get tricky with this. If he wants milk and he won't do as you ask give him water. If he likes a certain cup and he won't do as you ask give him a cup he doesn't like. The more consistant you are the quicker he will learn you mean business. It is alot easier to teach him you mean business when he is 21 month than when he's older.

B.,
I know you've gotten many suggestions. I just wanted to offer one my husband came up with that I just love!

He says to the kids in an awe-inspiring voice: "Do you know you are the ONLY boy/girl in the entire WORLD who gets to call me Daddy?" I've used it too, and so far it's working. Our kids are 4 and 2.

I'm a teacher too - glad you're enjoying the summer! Each year it gets harder to go back.

Take care,
S.

He'll call you whatever he hears someone else call you.

For the first 4+ years of my oldest son's life, he called me "Honey". :) I have to admit I was a little sad when it eventually changed to "Mommy".

Hi B.,

I don't know any mom that hasn't gone through this. It's normal. At least it is in my families.

I just ignored my kids when they chose to call me by my first name. I first told them that I would preferr for them to call me, mommy. Then I told them that it hurt my feeling when they called me by my first name, then I asked them if someone called them by a different name (and gave some examples) how would that make them feel?

They got it. Just sit down with him and explain that you answer to him by "mommy" if he chooses to call you by your first name you won't be listening to him. And then stick to it as hard as you can.

It's basically a phase that they will grow out of.

It happens to all of us.

J.

My 23 month daughter calls my husband by his first name on occasion and when she really wants to get his attention. My nephew is 5 and still calls his dad by his first name on occasion! This is a normal phase in development. As a previous poster said, if you are really worried about it, refer to yourself as mommy and have your hubby do the same.

When my son learned mine and my husbands names he tried them out sometimes too. We told him that's what other people called us, but that he was "lucky" because he "got to" call us mommy and daddy and no one else did. When it seemed more special to call us mommy and daddy he stopped calling us by our first names. Good luck!

I am going to pull out my counseling hat- don't fret your child has learned your first name and sees the adults around you call you by B. so he too wants to be like that.

My sister went through it with my nephew. He still from time to time (he's 9 now) will call her Teresa. When I talked to him about it, he just said "well it's her name and she calls me by my name not son". He had a point. Although it doesn't make it any easier, remember that you are mommy no matter what he calls you!

Don't worry he'll grow out of it. When my son was 2 he used to call his dad Honey(that's what I usually call him). While I thought it was hysterical my husband was not amused. It lasted a while, but he finally learned that his dad's name was Daddy and not Honey.

totally normal- all of my boys went through that at some point. Think of it as a milestone- he now knows you actually have a name other than 'mommy'.
It will pass. However, I always told my boys that other people call me 'G.', but they get to call me 'Mommy' and nobody else gets to call me that but them!
I know it is weird, and a bit sad even when they call you by your first name, but just make him feel like he is so lucky that only him and his brother can call you "mommy" because your not a mommy to anyone else but them.
good luck

My children did this when they were learning to talk. I think it's a normal part of speech development. Children learn vocabulary by associating what they hear adults say, and by seeing words connected to everyday objects. Your baby is probably hearing your spouse, or others call you "B.", and now that's how she/he is learning to associate with you.

Kids are very smart, and it seems your child has already learned that when someone says "B." they get results. He's observing and carefully I might add, that you are probably responding to your name right away, and that person who just called you by name is successfully getting your attention, and quickly.

I wouldn't worry. Enjoy seeing this new stage of development. It's quite remarkable when you think what's really going on here developmentally. As vocabulary and grammatical understanding and ability increases, your baby will eventually and naturally start to call you mommy again unless you encourage them to relate to you on a first name basis when they are older. Right now, it's a learning phase, not a "fresh" kid thing.

However, if you really want them to call you mommy, you could always refer to yourself as mommy more often when relating or conversing with them about your day to day activities. Perhaps the child will start associating the word to what they see. Or encourage your family refer to you as mommy when talking to your children, whenever it makes sense to do so. This is a lot to ask others, but they might be game.

For example, "Look baby, mommy is playing too." when you are both playing a game together. Or perhaps Dad says something like "Mommy is making dinner for you right now," when you are all in the kitchen making dinner.

My son went thru this phase and I didn't make much of a deal out of it. He eventually grew out of it. I just would respond with "yes that's my real name, but you can call me mommy". We would also talk about what everyone elses real name was Daddy, Grandma, Nana and eventually it went away. Every now and then he'll use my first name and then it catches us off guard and is kinda funny. Like he'll be doing a trick and say "Chrstel watch this" :) I would just be patient and wait it out. He won't call you B. forever. Write it in his baby book.

i run an in home day care, so my situation is a little different, but my son calls me by my first name sometimes too. i just respond by saying "mommy" and he will usually copy me...

just dont treat it like a big deal, or a power struggle. hes probably realized that you have a different name from what he calls you and he is practicing using it. kids his age love to copy and repeat new words (as you probably know) and this is just another one he has picked up

he will 'grow out of it' eventually and you will be mommy again.

I really can't add anything to what advice you already have. It is normal for children to mimick the adults and your baby is mimicking everyone else who calls you by your name. My kids never went through this because my husband and I always said "daddy and I" or "mommy and I". Don't make a big deal of it at this age, just keep saying "mommy is listening" so he knows you expect him to call you mommy and he will outgrow it especially with a older sibling calling you mommy. Kids seem to come up with their own nicknames for everyone. My granddaughter, 21 months calls me "ma" and my husband "pa" while her mom and dad are dadda and momma, but she calls my dad "Lee" which is his name instead of Grandpa Lee like the other kids do.

Just keep in mind that he is NOT doing this out of disrespect. Teens sometimes will try using the first name too but they do it to level the playing field. They are trying to put themselves as your equal.

This is a respect and obedience issue, and I suggest you do whatever it takes to get it to stop. You're going to have to be even more strong willed than he is, and refuse to respond or even make eye contact when he calls you B.. It's as if you can't even hear what he's saying the minute he says "B.." I would even walk out of the room.

You also should consider some sort of consequence in addition to your lack of response and presence -- time out, sent to his room, sit on the stairs, a swat on the bottom if you're comfortable with that, etc. -- and have the consequence double each time the offense is repeated.

Another consequence -- "If you choose to call me B., then I won't be able to do what you are asking me to do."

It's sad sometimes that things that start out as "cute" can become such a stronghold in our lives.

HOpe this helps. God bless,

N.

Hi B.
This is a phase all kids go through. When my children did it I would remind them that they call me mom and would not do anything for the until they said mom they grew out of this phase quickily. Hope this helps T.

Well take comfort knowing that he will grow out of it! However, my daughter did this at about the same age and thought it was very funny. I plain and simple just didn't respond. I explained to her very calmly that I was mom, mommy, momma, or mother but that she wasn't to call me by my given name. She continued for about 3 days to call me J. - She yelled to get my attention and I just didn't respond. She's very strong willed, but I'm stronger. Then she started asking for things and I very simply would say NO and she started figuring out why. Now she's 5 and sometimes she'll say J. and giggle but she always says - I'm just kidding mommy. Good Luck and just remember that this too shall pass and he'll be back to calling you mommy in no time!!

As long as he isn't doing it disrespectfully I don't think it is an issue. Granted you may want him to call you mommy but is it a big deal? I have always told my oldest that he can call me mom, mommy, ma, L., silly wiggles, whatever he wants as long as he is being respectful. It sounds like that is exactly what your son is doing. I know how upsetting it can be to lose that baby side of your children. My son went from mama to mommy in about 2 weeks and it broke my heart for a while that I wasn't mama for long enough. But in the end I decided it doesn't matter.
Just remember the more you push him to call you mommy the less likely he will.

My daughter, when she was about 1.5 years old, called started calling my husband Mama for several months. Her first word was Dada, so we don't know how she got that. We didn't make a big deal about it because, like you, we thought it was funny at first. Eventually she started calling him Dada again on her own and then she started calling her blanket with a bunny head Mama. Now, the bunny has gone back to it's original name, "Bun Bun".

I guess I would try not to worry about it. I think eventually your son will call you Mommy again and you'll have a good story to tell him someday. Just keep calling yourself Mommy and he'll catch on.

P.

What does he hear everyone else calling you? I know that when my children would call my husband by his first name I had to get out of the habit of calling him by his name around the kids and calling him dad, daddy, etc. It's a hard habit, but when my kids were that age and heard me calling him dad, they responded the same way. Good luck.

My daughter did the same thing since I was working at the daycare that she was at. I also told her no and that I wasn't going to answer to anything but Mommy. You have to stand firm and keep doing what you are doing and eventually he will get the picture and call you mommy again.

As the other moms have said it is a phase. My daughter will be 2 in August and still calls me K., my daughter hears daddy call me K. so she knows that is what I am called.

She is starting to realize now that everyone has various different names like mommy, daddy, uncle, K., Ken, Ben and so on... she is starting to recognize that everyone calls people different names but it can be confusing so give the child time (it may take a few years).

I have asked my hubby to call me mommy/mom/mum around our daughter so that she know she can call me that and get a response. Also when it is just my daughter and I at home I call myself mommy all the time (mommy is playing/cleaning/reading) so she can connect with what I would prefer her to call me.

Just remember that your child is not trying to be disrespectful to you, he is just copying what others do. Eventually it will change and he will call you mommy.

What about if your husband started calling you Mommy? Your son could be mimicking Dad and what Dad does so might he??

When my daughter was around that age she started calling her dad by his first name. At first it as funny, then he got annoyed. The more he tried to correct her, the more she called him Tommy. Finally he just stopped correcting her, he would answer to Tommy, but not make a big deal out of it. She got bored with it in 2 days and went back to daddy, it might be worth a shot to just answer and not correct.

I wouldn't set yourself up for a power-struggle with your son. Pick your battles. You have a lot of good advice about how to handle the situation without just insisting that he only call you mommy. This may work with some kids, but it sounds like it wouldn't work with yours. I think my stepdaughter did this with her mother, but she's growing out of it. When she would write about her mother or put her name on pictures, she wouldn't write mommy. When we asked her about it, her reply was, "but that's her name." I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Don't wory about it. My daughter called me C. all the time. She said that it was easier to get my attention if we were in a group. Then she started calling me mom sometimes. Now she always calls me Mom, she's 16. What ever you do don't make it a power issue.

None of my children have ever called me by my first name.

But if it came up I agree with the advice - tell him you do not respond to that name and explain that you are to be called Mommy.

At four I suppose the "hurt feelings" line is fine, but at some point they have to learn it's about respect. Maybe when they're old enough to grasp the concept and can understand why calling you by your first name is disrespectful.

We went through this with our three beautiful independent girls at about the same age. They mostly did it because my husband and I would get each other's attention by using our first names. We tried correcting the girls, but they also are strong willed, so we started calling each other "mommy" and "daddy." It has worked really well, and we have been able to get away from that, but still call each other mommy or daddy on occasion.

My 21 month old (oddly enough) does the exact same thing. She calls me J. and not Mama. I, too, correct her nearly everytime and she will just look at me with a mischieveous smile and giggle! I tried the ignoring thing, or asking "What's my name?..Is it ..auntie??" hoping to get her to say Mama-- and she'll respond, "nooo, J.!" At this point, I feel its beyond repair and find myself responding to it. Gotten pretty used to it but it is slightly awkward, I pick her up from daycare and she screams "aah J.!" I wanted to post to let you know that you're not alone and it must be age appropriate! I'm not sure what to try because she is still doing it to me as well. I would appreciate any advice on this also.

Do the other adults in your life call you B.? He is likely just mimicking them. He probably won't be able to understand the logic of "You are special and you and your brother are the only people that get to call me MOMMY..." but it might be worth a try. Ask others to call you mommy around him, even if they are addressing you (awkward, I know) so that he learns to associate that "name" with you again. Also, DON'T respond to him when he does it. If he wants your attention, give it only when he addresses you properly.

I am glad you are not OK with this kind of thing. I have seen very young children that are told to call adults and even parents and grandparents by their first name. I think it is a big mistake for a child to have that kind of familiarity with adults.

Our son did this, too. He called my husband by his first name for a while. My husband would simply reply, "My name is Daddy." each time our son called him by his first name, but didn't ignore or punish our son. A quick reminder each time it occured seemed to do the trick. It lasted about a month and then he grew out of it.
I think the trick was that we didn't make too big of a deal about it, but we also didn't ignore his request/question. Good luck!

When something like that started with my son we had everyone start addressing me as mommy-my husband,my mom,friends and family we were around them enough he stopped using my first name-with the constant yelling of my name, even when it's mom I justt look them in the eye and say I am not going to speak to you until you stop saying my name-it works just like that but my kids have leaned that my will of steel will not break. Hope some of this helps.