2 Year Sleeping Away from Home and Coming Back Acting Different.

This is not different than shared parenting in which child sleeps half time at each parent's house. She'll get used to it.

It is normal to have a transition time during which she'll be somewhat cranky for a few hours. Try to greet her with some special routine that you have every time. That will help the transitiion.

What do you mean she kinda knows she is mommy? Isn't she her birth mother. If not then you don't have to do this. How long did she live with the 2 yo's and he father if she's not the mother? If baby is not bonded with mommy then she does'nt need to go. I suggest getting an evaluation with a child psychologist/therapist if she's not her birth mother.

I suggest that the fatger talk with his ex about what happens at their house and try to come to an agreement about having similar rules/lives.

And......remember that the father is the only one who can decide. Be careful if you disagree. It can drive a wedge between you.

When we had to go back and forth from my dads home and then back to my moms home.. there was always a transitions time.. Emotionally.

The whole thing is very stressful even if you love both people.

It is a change in styles of living, and the rules and expectations can be different..

This is her normal so, so the more understanding and the slower you take it, when she is getting ready to leave for the visit and then slow with the return home from a visit. will help all of you.

TRY to make these hand offs and pick ups as much the same as possible.

Example.. The child is getting ready to be dropped off or picked up.. do not go and run and errand with her right before or right after.. Instead pick her up bring her home and let her have some time to just play.. EVERY time. Or let her come home and just cuddle. She needs to decompress.

Also do not ask a million questions. What did you do, where did you go, what did you eat? Who did you see?Did you get a bath? Blah, blah, blah..

Just let that visit be finished.. at least for the first few hours or even the first day.

Also do not make your child at this age responsible for remembering what they should be doing.. "Remember to tell them you need a nap. Remember to tell them to give you a bath, but not to wash your hair tonight. "

This is not the child's responsibility.. Instead, before the hand off, either email them, or place a note with her things, so that all of these instructions are not in front of your child.. This leads to the child feeling like she will have to remind the adult.. this is not the child's job.

I know all of this is hard for you, but imagine how it feels for the child. I remember and I still get upset remembering those conflicted feelings from my childhood.

Biological or not, bonds between children and safe adults are important.

Perhaps the papa of this babe can speak with his ex to create consistent rules and structure at each home, or to see what her behavior is like when she is at the ex's home. Babe might be reacting to stress of back and forth, or could be missing mother-figure when she's in your home, or could be doing normal two year old stuff, or could be X, Y, Z. There are a lot of variables at play and I suggest giving it a little more time. After all, it can take a while to get used to the ups and downs of being around a little one.

A 2 year old is not a baby. It's good for little ones to stay over at different places sometimes, my grandchildren started spending the night or weekends or whatever with me from the time they were 2 week's old, which was a blessing when we lost mommy. The 2 year old really needs a "mommy" figure in her life, and if the ex-girlfriend is it so be it, apparently the dad feels this way and she is his daughter. It sounds as if he's trying to do what's best for her as he can't be a mom.

That things are "different" at the ex's house is in no way unhealthy, it's the way life is, there are going to be different rules as this toddler grows up, everything will never be the same wherever she goes. She IS on a routine at home, so all her dad needs to do is stick to his rules consistently when she is at home, regardless of what goes on at the ex's. Little ones don't get confused that easily to not know where they live, and whether she gets away with things away from home or not she will learn what is expected of her at home by her routine there, you just explain that this is what you do at home, period. She'll adapt just like all the other children in this world who live sometimes in one home and sometimes in others..

He needs to cut ties with the ex now as this will be WAY confusing to the child the older she gets and if he needs a break he needs to get his family more involved. The red flags for me are the SCREAMING in the bath because it makes me think something is happening to the child that is inappropriate. Encourage him to seek alternatives for assistance in taking care of this little one.

The screaming during the whole bath has my mommy senses tingling. I know I don't know all the particulars, but if the ex-girlfriend is not the mom then there is no reason for the little one to be staying at her home period let alone 2-3 nights a week. This kiddo needs to be at home with her daddy. She's is also extremely blessed to have you looking out for her. I'm not sure why her dad is allowing this to go on, but as one of the other moms said, he's opening himself and his daughter up to a world of potential hurt/harm. I pray this situation gets resolved quickly and that everyone will be okay.