L.B.
You might want to question whether you really need to make a change as soon as possible. Moving has obviously been really traumatic for him, and fighting over where he sleeps is obviously *extremely* traumatic for him. I suggest that you and your husband let him sleep with you for a while until his upset ebbs. You might actually start to relax once you ask yourself, truly, what's the hurry? The sooner he feels secure regarding sleep (and his new home, in general), the less likely he is to develop more extreme and longer-term sleep problems.
Forget about the goal of getting him out of your bed in the immediate term. Make the only goal to be his feeling safe and comforted in the face of nap-time and bed-time.
To start, spend pleasant time in his new room during the daytime. Play with him and cuddle with him there.
Put up some pictures of his favorite people and memories there. Maybe use a bulletin board or something like that, and put it at his level where he seems to spend the most time.
Pick out some special items, with him, to go in his room (this doesn't have to mean a shopping trip for new stuff; it can be a shirt you have worn but not washed, or a memento from Grandma that usually stays in some other part of the house).
Explore the neighborhood with him. Go online or otherwise search for and map out fun and pretty places for you both to find together on little walks or short drives. Obviously, make these experiences very pleasant.
Talk about your move. If you live close enough to your old home, you might want to drive by there and explain that you don't live there anymore, but you are excited about your new home and you know he will love it there.
Explore your new house with him!
Build a little fort with him, perhaps near the couch, for his nap time, with blankets or sleeping bag, pillows, maybe a plate with little snack and no-spill cup of water. Make it his special little hide-out. Let him sleep where he knows you are nearby.
Make an immediate stop to the cry-it-out approach. Your instincts are absolutely correct. Be there for him and make him feel as secure as possible. This is the best way to create independence and confidence in a child. Holding him at arms' length will instead inspire clinginess and, in cases like this, desperation on the part of the child, leading to physical and emotional ailments that can last a lot longer than just short-term extra comfort in special circumstances like a big move.
So, for now, just be his sweet, loving mother, source of his comfort. He's still just a baby, and he needs Mommy and Daddy during a scary time. You and your husband are really all he has right now.
L.