12 Month Old Not Wanting to Sleep- Crying So Hard He Throws Up

I would try putting him to bed a little bit earlier - maybe around 7:30 - maybe he is over tired, and it is hard for him to relax at that point?

Hi J.,

The cry it out technique worked for me with my first, but not my second. They are really developing trust with you at this point, and we learned the second time that once she could trust us to be there she could relax. I know you're tired, going without sleep is extremely hard, but hang in there, it won't last forever :)

Try putting him to bed an hour earlier. We just started this with my daughter and (I'm scared to say anything, I don't want to jinx it) she's slept through the night the past 4 nights. She also has a stuffed bunny she sucks on, and that seems to help her fall asleep.
Best of luck!
C.

The kid I nanny for (now 8) used to do that around the same age. I think he was scared of being left alone. I would put him down drowsy (like they say to do,) but as soon as he saw me go to leave, he would cry so hard that he would throw up. He had a really easy gag reflex due to some stomach issues (a whole other story.)
Anyway, Super Nanny wasn't around then, but I did something similar to what she does.
Put him down the first night and sit next to his crib as he falls asleep. Give him physical contacts (but no eye contact) this night. If you can get away with it just put your hand in the crib so he can touch you. Or pat him, but don't pick him up. The trick is, you need to have enough patience to stay until he sleeps (and give him no social interaction,) so clear your schedule for the next week or so and focus on this.
2nd night, sit next to the crib with your back turned, no contact, wait it out.
Every night after that get further and further away from the crib until you're out the door. After that leave the door open for a few nights.
The idea is that (hopefully) knowing that you are close will calm his separation anxiety.
It worked for me - good luck - whatever you try.

Defintely an early bed time. You might also want to do some real good exercise befor dinner. Take him out side and let him run himself in circle for 30 mintues or so. You want to make sure he is good and tired at bed time.

I do not have a little one who throws up but i think that is just because he has not figured out that he can. But he is a screamer. We go in every 5 mintues and lay him down, give him his blanket and paci and sing softly to him. He did much better when he knew we were coming back. I tell him its bed time and to lay down and that is it. I don't make eye contact but convert him with touch. It usually takes about 30 mintues for him to fall asleep and usaually wont fall until i am standing next to the crib. But we are getting better, he can fall asleep with out me touching him know.

I hope you figure out what is going on. He could be on the verge of a milestone that is messing him up to.

A.

Hi J.,

I am a mom, grandmother and a wellness consultant.

Do you have any electronics in the babies room or close to him?

Is he hyper during the day?

Does he eat well?

How about water intake?

He may just need some extra energy to help him sleep.

My granddaughter had problems sleeping and I purchased a magnetic pad for her to sleep on and that was her answer. It also helped her to relax.

Everyone is different.

If you would like to find other options feel free to email me or check out my web page.

____@____.com
www.nikken.com/ninamarie

Good luck to you.

N. Marie

My son has always done the same thing. Even though most people would say this is a bad thing.. I pat my son's bottom or rub his head till he falls asleep. Since he is still in his crib it is harder to lay there and read to him while he's in bed, but maybe you need to stand next to his crib and read to him. Does he have a special blanket or a lovey you could use to lure him in bed... like he only gets to use that blanket/lovey when it's bedtime?
Is there a night light? Is he afraid of the dark? Have you asked him why he doesn't want to go to bed?

Earlier bed time and if he isn't already see if you can get him to take a nap during the day.

My daughter was doing the same thing at around that age. It appeared (according to our pediatrician too) that once she realized she could get the attention by throwing up (she would even put her mouth to make herself throw up) and that we would rush in to change her and the sheets, she just continued to do it. The doctor told us to just put some sheets in her crib and don't clean up after she throws up. She told us to just pull out the dirty sheets after she was asleep. We never let her cry over 10 minutes just because we couldn't bear the crying and we never intentionally ignored her after she threw up. However, one night we went in her room and she had already fallen asleep on a pile of vomit. It was gross but miraculously she never cried to the point she vomited again. I guess it worked because we stopped giving her the attention. Hope this helps, good luck.

Consider laying in your bed with him until he falls asleep. Sometimes kids don't want to go to sleep because they are afraid they'll "miss something". If you lay with them, then it makes them feel that going to sleep is 'ok.' My brother was the same when he was little and my oldest daughter did that for awhile too. Things should return to normal fairly quickly (a week or so).

the bedtime you are giving may need to be modified until he is receptive to 8 o'clock again. My son's bedtime is between 8:30and 9:30pm depending on what we did that day. What time is his nap. Maybe make it earlier or shorter. The crying out method is awful and I am glad you do not agree with it. He could be ready for a toddler bed or if anything has changed in your household that could be it. Just be patient it is probably a phase, he just wants to be up with you guys. Let him stay up a little later and see what happens. Maybe say okay, one more story and it is time to sleep okay. Good luck

Hi J.

I am an infant/child therapist and parent coach, and specialize in sleep problems/challenges/transitions. Please check out my website www.angeliquemillette.com, and let me know if you would like to schedule a phone consult to discuss some simple steps to help your little one to sleep.

Warmly,
A.

A. Millette, PhDc MFTt PCD/CD(DONA) CMT
PhD candidate Santa Barbara Graduate Institute
Marriage & Family Therapist trainee Child Therapy Institute of Marin
Postpartum & Birth Doula (DONA certified)
PO Box 824 Fairfax, CA 94978
###-###-#### office
###-###-#### fax
###-###-#### mobile
____@____.com
www.angeliquemillette.com

Infant/child/family in-home consultant & parent coach addressing:
Infant/child sleep challenges
Co-sleeping or transition to crib
Whole family-inspired scheduling
Infant colic/reflux/high needs/spirited
Postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD
Attachment
Breastfeeding challenges
Twins and triplets
Parenting resources and challenges
Child development stages
Single parenting
Balancing family and work
Relationship and transition to family challenges

Personally my son is 13 months now and i tried the crying it out when he was a little younger to let him know when he cries momy doesnt just jump up and get him out and he learned so when he does wake up he plays and talks and fusses a little but the whole it is bedtime and you need to go to sleep for a 1 year old i think it is still hard for them to comprehend.

For me and my son he starts to get sleepy around 7:30 - 8pm and that is when we lay down on the sofa with our bottle and blanket. Whn he is finished he sits up and comes to me and i hold him and pat his back till he falls asleep and then i either put him in his crib or lay him back down on the couch until i am ready to go to bed. He falls asleep most nights before 8:30 but if he has a late nap that can mess up your whole schedule... I think you may need to be a little more flexible and help him goto sleep rather then making him do it all on his own.

My son who just turned 1 is doing the exact same thing! He would cry and cry until he vomits. Since we didn't want him to throw up, I know this might sound bad for some folks but we would carry him to sleep. He also does not go to sleep early. We get home at 6pm so with the bathing, dinner, some playtime, reading/bedtime, it would be 930-945pm before he is in bed. He has been sleeping through the night and would wake up at 7am. I don't know what to do either so this has been our best solution so far. Good luck!!!

You should go buy the book "the no-cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She gives great suggestions without making your baby cry it out.

A) Try making sure your baby goes to bed with only water in his tummy.
B) Don't race to clean him up.

That in itself has become a pattern. He cries. He throws up. Mommy and daddy come to the rescue and clean him up and then he can go to sleep.

Unless you want that to become your nightly routine until he is 4 years old....you are going to have to break the pattern.

My daughter did exactly the same thing. Except it wasn't about bed-time, it was bath-time. And she didn't throw up, she pooped.
She had always loved the bath, in fact, I put her in the shower with me as a newborn and she was accustomed to water. But she decided, at about a year old, that she didn't want to take baths. I tried special toys, I tried special soaps, I tried EVERYTHING! She threw a fit and she pooped every single time. Of course, I freaked out because I didn't want poop on my baby and took her out and scoured the tub and had to re-wash her.
This is going to sound mean, but one day, I had enough. She had a pediatrician appointment and I wanted her to be clean and she did the cry/poop thing. I got up from her and walked away. I picked up the phone, that had a long cord, and I called my mother. My daughter could totally see me talking on the phone and not paying attention to her crying and trying to "run away" from her poop. My mom was like....Why is she crying like that? And I said, because she crapped in the tub AGAIN and this time, I'm leaving her in there with it. I just ignored my daughter (but not really because I could see her, Lord knows we could hear her, and reach her if I had to). My mom and I chatted for a couple of minutes, which probably seemed like hours to my daughter. Then I went in...scooped the poop out of the tub, drained it, re-washed her and put her to bed. She never did it again.
Like I said, this probably sounds super mean, but my daughter started walking at 7 months so she wasn't like a helpless baby laying in poopy water.

It only took one time. And I don't encourage being mean. But if you don't rush to clean everything when your baby barfs it might break that cycle and throwing up will not be a part of it anymore. It's a pattern that you can change.

Blessings and good luck!

My son did that too! Once he figured out how to make himself throw up he did it a lot, not just at bedtime. Here's my advice. Don't let him get to the point where he's throwing up. No more crying it out. He obviously needs to be going to bed a little later. You have to work with him (I know this sounds crazy, he's still a baby) to figure out the right time for him to go to bed. Believe me, I cleaned up more vomit from my baby than you can imagine.

I have no idea if this will help or not but my daughter (who is 10 months) has never been a great sleeper either. She goes through cycles of sleeping through the night or not going down at all. I also have a hard time with the full blown crying it out but I found the check and console method was a little easier to do. I would put her down, if she cries I let her go 5 minutes, then go pick her up and rock with her for about 5 minutes and try to put her back down. If she is still crying I let her go 10 minutes, then go pick her up and rock for about 5 minutes again. I just continue on 5, 10, 15, 20 minute stretches and she finally gets tired and goes to bed. I have found over time that she now really only goes 5 maybe 10 minutes. She will put herself back to sleep most of the time. So although she is still crying it out in a way she doesn't get herself SO worked up to the point of throwing up (which has happened to her before too.) :( Again, I have no idea if it will help and some people find it to be a lot more work then just straight crying it out but that method just did not work for my daughter. She was one of the babies that got more worked up from it than wiped out. Good luck, I wish you good sleep and the ability to function at work. :) It can be tough I know!

Is there a quiet toy he could play with in his crib. He is a little young to start the 2 year old power struggle thing but with my son the policy has always been that he needs to stay in bed. I don't much care what he does in there as long as he stays put. Most nights he will spend a half hour or so "reading" a book, singing to himself, or playing with a toy. If he had somethng to do in the crib maybe he wouldn't get as upset and would be able to relax and fall asleep quicker.

This may be far fetched, but you might want to talk to the doctor and just ensure he does not have an ear infection because my son had a lot when he was younger and the pain always came on at night and he would cry very hard.

Another suggestion - my son never liked going to bed too and cried a lot (never threw up though)- talk about bed time a lot and get him ready by giving him an idea and warning when he will go to bed and possibly have a few minutes prior where you read a book, put on soft music and give hugs and kisses.

Good luck.

Hi J.,
I HIGHLY recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth to understand biological sleep rhythms and how you can sync with your son's. I think you are putting him to bed WAY to late. My daughter will be 3 in July and she is asleep by 7pm and sleeps until 6:30-7am. Dr. Weissbluth is a HUGE advocate for an early bedtime and says many problems can be traced back to too late a bedtime. At 12 months my daughter would wake up at 6:30-7am, nap around 9am and 1pm and be asleep by 6pm. Sleep begets sleep, so the more sleep he gets the more he will sleep. I would move his bedtime to 6:30 ASAP. It takes 7-14 days of consistency to make the change. You may even need an earlier bedtime until he is well rested. If you are interested in Dr. Weissbluth's methods, email me.
Sincerely,
L.

PS Dr. Weissbluth is a pediatrician of 30+ yrs who has So MUCH experience in sleep that he has even written chapters for pediatrician textbooks. The man knows his stuff, and isn't just a "cry it out" person.

Hi J.,

you have received some interesting responses...I would add that my son had times where he had trouble going to bed, seemingly "all of a sudden" & fought it so much he would cry until he coughed so hard he almost threw up. We tried the "cry it out", this was awful & didn't seem to work.

One alternative to putting him to bed earlier (my son wouldn't go for this suggestion--6:30 or 7pm--and it would have been difficult for us, since our work schedules barely get us home by 6:30 two days out of the week), is to limit his napping during the day, & increase his physical activity. For us this worked, & he was so tired by bedtime, there is no fight.

Does he take one nap, or two? My son had the most trouble sleeping at night when he was ready to cut down on daytime napping. For a long time he would sleep 8pm-7am, with 2 naps at around 11am & 3pm...then he started the fight at bedtime so he was up till about 10 or 11, refusing to go to sleep.

We changed his nap to just after lunch, around 1 or 1:30pm, & let him sleep about an hour & 1/2 or less. As long as he was up by 3 or 3:30, he had enough waking time that we could play outside & he could run around before it was time for dinner, bath & bed by 8.

It also helped to get him in his pj's & have a quiet time by around 7:15 so he could really settle down. Letting him have a toy or book to look at, with subdued lighting, and for a limited time (15 to 20 minutes, then lights out) also helped. A few times I laid down next to his crib & slept for a while until he fell asleep.

My son is 3 now & occasionally naps during the daytime, but mostly fights that, so if we keep him physically active, he has no problem going to bed at bedtime now.

hope this helps...

J.,

I'm with you on the 'cry-it-out' method. I hate it and absolutely refuse to attempt it. I'm reading, and absolutely love and finding helpful, The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Panteley. Excellent source of sleeping solutions for all types of babies and children. Here's a link to Amazon to get a copy: http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Throug... I know the address is long but the book works. I have changed a lot in my son's pre-bedtime and going down time and I've seen a difference. So much so that if I start even 1/2 hour late and he goes down 1/2 hour later it is horrible at night.

Let me know how things go. I wish you the best of luck.

T.

try lying down with your child, rubbinghis back til he falls asleep. It sounds like the sleep issue has gotten a little out of hand and there is a bit of trama going on. i would just focus on soothing him and trying to make going to sleep more comforting and not a struggle and then start working on getting him to sleep easier and quicker.