2 Year Old Not Eating a Lot

Hi S.,
My daughter, Paige, has always had problems with constipation and hard stools. Her doctor recommended having her drink some watered down juice daily. (prune and apple mixed is what we use) He also said to stay away from things that harden stool like crackers, bananas, and rice and add more things that keep it soft like carrots, dried prunes, blueberries, and pears. Paige gets lots of whole grains with fiber. We buy the Double Fiber by Orowheat which she LOVES! Her doctor also suggested only having milk at meals as too much milk can cause constipation too. We keep refined sugars to a minimum and avoid any processed foods. Kashi makes some terrific cereals that Paige snacks on. I also found freeze-dried fruit at Raleys that has no added sugar and is really yummy. I haven't tried flax seed oil but will try ASAP. Paige is 2 1/2 and has started potty training somewhat. She will go potty on the toilet before nap and bedtime only, but she always wants to poop! Hope this help!
~L.

Poor Jack, that must be painful for him. I found that kids at 2 don't usually eat meals the way adults do. Usually they will eat one big meal a day and then snack here and there.
My daughter at 2 would eat a ton of breakfast then just nibble here and there the rest of the day. She is now 13 and very healthy with no food issues. She is muscular and energetic and eats a well rounded diet.

One of my 3 sons would never eat a big meal but wanted to nibble all day. I just left healthy foods on his high chair tray and he would pick at them when he wanted to. Although I would have he come to meals, I quickly learned that he only ate a little at a time and would return an hour later wondering where his meal was.

This eating style only last a little while. I think he had grown out of it by 3.

Good luck and don't force potty training if Jack is feeling uncomfortable. However, pooping on the potty may actually provide relief. I think it would be much tougher to poop in a diaper.

When you do potty train, try having Jack sit on the toilet facing the tank. Children feel much more secure this way and for little boys it's the best because they don't accidently pee through the gap between the seat.

I do have to say that I am a big advocate of being a stay at home mom eventhough you have great day care provider. You are totally missing out on your son for the bulk of his waking hours and he is missing out on you.

hugs too you and jack,
A.

S.,
First of all, try to relax. Your concerns about nutrition can easily be put to rest. You are dealing with more than one issue here so let's take them one at a time.
Your son is 2. He is learning to assert himself.
You have some anxiety. Your son see's this.
Nutrition is a big deal. The pressure is on.
So read up on how to handle a willful child, but trust in your intuition as a Mother. You will know if your son is malnurished. My guess is that he is not. I doubt he is afraid to eat. I bet he is learning about how Mom and Dad will react if he acts this way or that.
Your pediatrician can give you some guidelines, what to look for as far as weight gain etc in order to track your sons growth and development.
My advice would be to offer your son three meals a day and two healthy snacks in between. Don't push food. Don't stress out. Eat with him. Don't cater to his likes and dislikes. If he's hungry, he'll eat. If he isn't, he won't. Even the most stubborn child won't starve himself. Eventually your son will eat.

I didn't potty train my daughter till she was three and she had the dame problems with pooping. I gave her apple juice constantly and got yelled at by WIC for it. Oh well that was what was best for her. She is now nine and is fine. As far as not eating my son is doing the same thing wants to snack but no meals. I would love advice on this too.

My 2YO just went from eating tons to not eating very much. But I have noticed that he does this every time he is finished with a growth spurt. Some times he eats a lot and sometimes he eats a little. I just make sure that I only offer him things that I know are good for him. He always sits down with us during meals and he eats what we eat. I just don't sweat it if he doesn't eat much. Also, I try to find snacks that will help him be more regular like apples, applesauce and raisins. I think foods with fiber help. Fruits are good because they are sweet and usually easier to get them to try. I've also found that my son will eat things that he sees us eating.

Hi S.,
Soooo common, and normal! Try not to worry! Both of my girls went through this. (Both the not eating, and the trouble pooping.) Unless he looks like a little stick figure, just ignore the eating thing, as hard as that may be. Offer him food that you would like him to eat (veggies, meat, rice, pasta, whatever it is), but don't fall into the trap of becoming a short-order cook. If he doesn't eat what you're eating, then he doesn't eat it. He will eat when he's hungry. Right now he sees you jumping through hoops to try and get him to eat, which is very entertaining for him! Our youngest (2.5 years) has entire weeks where she will eat nothing but the rice off of her dinner plate - but then one day she'll surprise us and eat nothing but broccoli. But she's a little tank with rosy pink cheeks, so she's getting what she needs to eat. We've learned not to comment on her eating, and dinner time is far more pleasant for all of us!

I must say that I agree potty training might help, if you are ready for it. It worked for us, twice.

Hi S.:
I remember my twins catching me off guard with becoming pickier about what they ate when they were around 2YO. A little while later I read Ellyn Satter's book "Child of Mine, Feeding With Love and Good sense" and was relieved to find that this is a very common, normal phase of child development. Your child is making a transition from being the trusting baby who just tries whatever is set out in front of him/her to the toddler who is learning to develop his/her independence, and part of that is often refusing foods that they might have been gobbling up last week. Her advice, if I remember correctly, is to try to relax and keep offering a variety of healthy foods even if your child has turned them down for the past 5 days - in most cases he/she will eventually decide to try the item. A common problem is that parents get worried and then only offer the one or two foods that they know their child *will* eat, but then when the child gets tired of those foods the family's in a bigger panic because they're not sure what else the child will eat.
BTW I think you should stick to your instincts and hold off on potty training for now.

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