5 Yr Old Refuses to Eat Before School or Lunch at School.

How frustrating for you! I totally understand your concern.

Have you asked her why she doesn't want to poop at school? My childhood friend became absolutely terrified to poop at school after our teacher humiliated her in front of the class and screamed at her, telling her that my friend and the whole class would have to sleep alone in the school if she didn't hurry up and finish pooping.
I am not saying that the teacher is at fault in your situation, AT ALL, but mabey a child may have said something unkind to her about pooping. Even just a comment about smell can make a child so self conscious.

HUGS!!!! I hope your daughter can get past her fear.

Talk to her teacher, make sure that your daughter knows she can ask to go whenever she needs to, and see if the three of you together can come up with a solution that will make her less afraid to poop at school. My daughter liked to go potty during outside play time her first year of preschool, because there was no one else in the bathroom at that time, apparently she was shy. We reasoned with her that if she couldn't see or hear the other children when they went, they couldn't see or hear her, either, and she started going when the rest of them did.

Also make sure your daughter is eating plenty of fruits and vegetables, whole grain cereal like oatmeal, fruits and veggies for snacks, or something with fiber like oatmeal cookies, other foods high in fiber when she IS eating, and drinking lots of water so she doesn't develop a serious "holding" problem.

First I would eliminate any sugary snacks in the house. No more ice cream. If she doesn't eat at school or before she gets apples, grapes, whole grains.

Then go to the teacher and let her know.

Have her use the bathroom, has she yet? My oldest daughter was so afraid of the potty in kinder she didn't want to use it, then had a poop accident.

When does she go at home? That is the time you let the teacher know her regular schedule, then teacher can say Mary, go now and try while we are doing the math sheet, or whatever.

Maybe stay one day after she eats a good breakfast to help her navigate the bathroom at school. After she does it once she'lll be ok.

Well you can't really make a child eat. They will eat when they want to. However that does not mean that you shouldn't make every effort to help her want to eat breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day and if she isn't fueled in the morning she could start having problems at school. You need to push her to eat breakfast, try and explain the benefits. I would however eliminate the ice cream snack in the afternoons if she isn't going to eat real meals during the day. I don't think there is really any good way to handle this accept for you need to encourage her to eat.

Do they have set times to use restroom at school? My 4 hate using bathroom at school cause of the extreme shortness of allowed times.Any ways you can get her to go before she goes to school so she's not afraid to eat? That only eating ice cream isn't healthy? Is that a snack the school does cause they should vary snacks in that case

In addition to all the other great advice there's an episode of Dinosaur Train that deals with this. The episode's call "dinosaur poop!" maybe have her watch it.

I THINK this is a link to Tiny's cute poop song but I'm at work and the filter's are blocking it, I'll double check from my laptop on break!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vzq_8zcpR7w

ETA: That IS the link to the song! And now I have it stuck in my head! "When a dino's got to go a dino's got to go!"

Have you talked to her teacher about this? My daughter was afraid to go to the bathroom at all (in second grade!) and the teacher had to let a friend go with her. My co workers daughter didnt want to poop at school because all the kids would know what she was doing in there (taking longer) Her teacher gave her permission to use a bathroom down the hall when needed. My son has holding problems and the school nurse said he could come use the bathroom in the nurses' office if he wanted. He still has not pooped at school (I dont think) This is a medical problem and the teacher and school nurse should help come up with some suggestions.